


All That You Bury Inside

by BrokenCalibre



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Apprentice Fic, Bloodline references - kinda, Crystal Crisis on Utapau references, Doggy Style, F/M, Female Mechanic, I suck at tags, Injury, Killing, Masturbation, Mutual Masturbation, Now a multi-chapter fic, Oral Sex, Porn With Plot, Sexy Times, Shower Sex, Smut is at the end of each chapter if you wanna skip the plot, Star Wars Rebels references, Wax Play, Weapon of a Jedi references, ex-slave, explicit sex - eventually, force play -kinda, kylo ren smut, lightsaber masturbation, lovemaking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-24
Updated: 2017-05-24
Packaged: 2018-10-10 05:24:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 61,377
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10430088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BrokenCalibre/pseuds/BrokenCalibre
Summary: After finding herself trapped on Kylo Ren’s sabotaged ship, Evran urges the Commander to land before the ship fails and they die. Intrigued by his involuntary companion, Kylo pushes Evran to her limits, both professionally and intimately.





	1. Emergency Landing

**Author's Note:**

> I know canonically we’re only seen Kylo Ren in a Command Shuttle, but in my mind, it makes sense that he’d also have a personal ship for special missions and whatnot. I chose the Sith Infiltrator since it was designed for one pilot, and though the new movies haven’t yet established if Sith are connected directly to Snoke and the Knights of Ren, I figure it’s possible for a similar space craft to still exist.  
> Also, this is set some time before TFA.  
> Enjoy! XxX

We were running late. That’s how the whole mess started. In our defence, we didn’t know we were running late; we didn’t know we had a deadline at all. Commander Ren’s personal ship, a heavily modified Star Courier known as the Infiltrator, had been brought in, heavily damaged, and we were assigned to repair it. No one said it had to be done within the week, not until the sixth day when we were informed Commander Ren would be needing it the following day.

“What?!” I looked up from the mess of wires I was reconnecting to the main console in shock.

“You heard me, Evran,” our superior officer, Lieutenant Mathers, stated stiffly. “You have until tomorrow to get the main systems back online.”

“What about the defences?” I asked, gesturing at a different tangle of wires.

“Only the bare minimum,” Mathers replied. “Whatever the Infiltrator can’t fly without.”

“Technically, it can fly without any,” Brace spoke up from behind me. “But it won’t last long in a fight.”

“This is Commander Ren’s Courier,” Mathers said. “If he says the bare minimum will suffice, he means it. Just get it ready, Theta Squad.”

“Yes, sir,” we prattled off together. Mathers exited via the lift, leaving me and Brace standing staring at each other.

“This is a bad idea,” I said, turning back to my task. “Can we even get the engines online in time?”

“We don’t have a choice,” Brace replied with a shrug. “Finish connecting the main console, then run some diagnostics. Squad Meeting below in an hour.”

I groaned, but finished my job, recoating the naked wires with tape, and set up a diagnostic programme. As numbers scrolled across the screen, I groaned again, dropping my head into my hands. There was no way we’d get all the safety checks done in time.

I joined the rest of Theta Squad in the lower engineering deck, Brace, our chief, was already pacing the floor. Kaza, Jendall, Grant, and Hyne were huddled around the centre bench on their knees, discussing the blueprint of the Hyperdrive that was still offline.

“Am I late?” I asked.

“We’re all late,” Kaza sniped, her eyes narrowed at the chief. “Apparently.”

“Hey, it’s not my fault,” Brace retorted, ceasing in his pacing. “I only just found out like the rest of you.”

“Well, you should’ve asked if we had a deadline when we were first assigned this job,” Kaza said.

“It wouldn’t have made a difference,” I said quickly, before the situation escalated. “Ren probably decided himself just now.”

“Oh, shut up, Ev.” Kaza was clearly not in the mood to be pacified.

“Come on, Kaza,” Grant spoke up in my defence. “Don’t take it out on Evran.”

“It’s fine, Grant,” I said, shaking my head. “We’re all pissed off right now.”

“We need to work together to get this job done in time,” Jendall said in her usual calm tones. “Synchronize, cooperate, execute. Otherwise, we’re all on the chopping block.” We all nodded in agreement, save for Kaza, but she seemed to simmer down somewhat. “Chief?” Jendall asked.

“Right, twenty-four hours,” Brace stated, kneeling with the rest of us at the bench. “What still needs done, and what of that can the Commander do without?”

“I know the Lieutenant said the bare minimum,” I said. “But I’m really not comfortable with that. Chances are we’ll send Ren to his death.”

“It would help if we knew where he was going,” Hyne pointed out. “How far, how long, and such. Could help us determine exactly how much power we need diverted where.”

“There’s no way we’d ever get that information,” Brace replied. “Best we can do is assume it’s mission critical if there’s no leeway on time.”

“Mission critical is usually a dangerous mission,” I mused, chewing on the inside of my lower lip. “All the more reason to back the defences.”

“The Lieutenant seemed convinced they weren’t needed,” Brace said, shaking his head. “I know it goes against our gut, but we’re not in command. If we get any time to spare, we can shore up what defence systems we can, but right now the priority is the Hyperdrive. He won’t make it far without that.”

“The system was overloaded during the battle,” Grant spoke up, our Hyperdrive engineer. “Which meant replacing a lot of the fuses and couplings, which means recalibration. I can’t do that without the NavCom online.”

“I’m working on that,” I replied with a nod. “Running diagnostics on the main console, it’ll tell me how much data was lost when the systems shut down.”

“Okay, that’s a start,” Brace said. “Kaza, Jendall, what’s the state of the Sublights?”

“One is completely repaired, but the other took a lot of strain when the Hyperdrive overloaded,” Kaza explained briskly. “Burned out a lot of the chassis. We’ve replaced the larger plating, but we’re still working on the smaller instalments.”

“Is twenty-four hours enough to get it done?” Brace asked. Kaza and Jendall shared a tense look.

“Yes,” Jendall then said. “But that doesn’t account for reconnection and recalibration. We’d need a test flight to ensure both engines are in sync.”

“We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it,” Brace said. “Repairs first, whatever time we have afterwards is all the time you’ll get for tests. Okay, Hyne?”

“Yes, Chief?” Hyne looked up from the blueprints, which she had been staring at the entire conversation.

“Since we don’t know how long the shuttle will be out, we need to do a full restock,” Brace said. “I need you to hit up any spare workers to help get everything stocked and locked. Power, food, water, weapons, replace only what needs replaced; if it can last another journey, leave as is. Make sure the speeder is charged and functional.”

“Got it, Chief.”

“Right, you have your orders.” Brace clapped his hands together briskly. “Let’s get to work.”

Somewhat inspired by the Chief’s optimism, we all departed for our quadrants. I returned to the cockpit, running an eye over the results of the diagnostics so far. From behind me, the lift pinged open, and Brace emerged.

“What have we got?” he asked.

“It’s not good, Chief,” I replied, my shoulders drooping. “Issues with damn near everything. That overload was worse than we thought; I’m surprised Ren made it back in one piece with so much instrumentation failure.”

“Well, he’s in charge for a reason,” Brace muttered, leaning over my shoulder to scan the screen. “Damn.”

“Yup.” I rubbed a hand down my face and groaned.

“You can do this, Evran,” Brace said, squeezing my shoulder. “Prioritize; what does he need most and what can he do without?”

“Communications are still down, but he doesn’t need those to fly,” I began, taking a deep breath. “Life Support is running at minimum capacity, which I guess will do for now. Navigation is shot to hell, and all engines are currently offline, but we’re working on those. Defensive Shields are all critical, with Offence not registering at all, but we were told ‘bare minimum’. Okay.” I took another deep breath, and let it out slowly. “I’ll start with the NavCom, get the Hyperdrive back online and connected.”

“Good work.” Brace gave my shoulder another quick squeeze. “I’ll help the girls out with the Sublights. Can’t even take off with those down.”

“Got it, chief.”

“Check in with me when you get the NavCom back up.”

“Yes, chief.”

The next twenty-odd hours went by in flashes. Getting the Navigational Computer online took longer than it should have, meaning we were behind schedule as soon as we started. With Communications down, Grant and I were stuck using old-fashioned walkie-talkies while we worked on connecting the Hyperdrive’s systems to the NavCom’s, which meant using one-hand for a lot of typing, turning an already long job into an even longer one. Brace and the girls got the Sublights fitted and synced, but as our deadline approached, there was no time for a test flight. All the systems analyses looked good though, and I was able to recalibrate them based on their static outputs.

“Evran, give me a status update.” My walkie-talkie crackled with the sound of the chief’s voice, and I quickly tapped in a few commands on the main console.

“Hyperdrive, NavCom, and Sublights are all online and in the green,” I reeled off, my eyes flickering up and down the screens. “Life support is the last critical operation. Offensive capabilities are still down, and the shield generators are still running at minimum, but any spare time we have should be focused on the Comms.”

“Hyne’s working on Life Support,” Brace replied. “And Grant says he has a few adjustments to make to the Hyperdrive’s calibration. If you can concentrate on the Comms, the girls and I will take care of the shields.”

“Wait, what adjustments?” I asked, frowning. “The Hyperdrive was fully calibrated.”

“You’ll need to ask Grant,” Brace said.

“Yes, Chief.” I switched my radio to Grant’s channel. “Grant, the Chief says you’re not happy with the calibration.” Silence. “Grant, you read me?” Still nothing. I groaned, slamming my radio down on the console. “What is the point of these if he can ignore me?”

I rose from the command chair, and stepped into the lift. On the lower level, I could see Hyne at the end of the corridor, stacking something in the cargo hold. The maintenance hatch was still open, and I climbed down into Engineering.

“Grant?” I called out, weaving my way through the stacks of instruments that made up the ship’s insides.

“Evran?” Grant’s head peeked out from behind a row of coolant systems.

“Chief says you’re adjusting the Hyperdrive’s calibrations,” I stated, feeling my brows furrow. “You weren’t happy with it?”

“What? No, I didn’t say that,” Grant replied quickly. “He must’ve misunderstood me; I’m just adjusting the, uh…” He trailed off, snapping his fingers. “The H/R exchange,” he finished, letting out a chuckle. “Man, forgot what it was called there.”

“Uh huh.” I wasn’t convinced, and it showed. “According to the Main Console, all the Heat/Radiation systems are fully functional. They were the first things we fixed following the overload, remember?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Grant said, nodding. “Which is why I was double-checking them now that the engines are back up.” That made sense, but something still bothered me.

“You all right, Grant?”

“Fine, fine, just…nervous about getting this finished,” he gabbled. “Ren isn’t one for excuses. You remember what happened to Gamma Squad.”

“Yeah,” I said, sighing. An entire team of engineers reassigned to an outpost in the middle of nowhere because of a simple misunderstanding. Some cargo had to be moved during repairs, and it didn’t make it back to its original position. Ren was not happy. “Okay, let’s get back to work then. Sorry to bother you. Oh, and keep your radio on you, Grant. Save me coming down here again.”

“Yeah, Evran, sorry.” Grant said. “By the way, the readouts on the main console might look a bit funny while I’m adjusting some outputs, but leave it with me.”

“Okay.”

I climbed back through the maintenance hatch, nearly managing to get trod on by Hyne, who was rushing past.

“What’s up?” I asked.

“Ren’s on his way!”

“Oh, kriff.” I followed behind her, but as she rushed down the aft ramp, I quickly zoomed up the lift, hoping to tidy up some of the messes I had made whilst working on the main console. I swept a litany of energy bar wrappers into a refuse sack I had been using, and chucked a few empty cans in too. A section of the wiring was still hanging out, but I was able to cram it inside the console’s casing and screw the panel in place.

“Evran!” My radio crackled, making me jump and crack my head on the underneath of the console. “Get down here, now!”

“Coming, coming,” I muttered, not bothering to reply. Holding my head, I checked the main screens for the results of the Communication analysis. “I can fix that quick enough,” I whispered. I cleared the screens, intending to do just that, but a warning popped up. “Urgh, Grant!” The H/R Exchange was registering as unstable, meaning a jump to lightspeed could overload the systems. Again.

“Evran, move it!”

I took the lift back down, but ignored Brace calling me from the ramp and headed back down into the maintenance hatch.

“Grant, I have to undo whatever you did or we’re all screwed!” I called out, ducking and weaving around the engine systems. “Grant!” He was nowhere to be seen, but his radio had been left by the main Hyperdrive keypad. “What the hell?” My eyes took in the data flashing on the screens. “Why would he…”

“Evran!” My name came from Grant’s radio, and I snatched it up to reply, but before I could bring it to my lips, something collided with the back of my head, and I fell into unconsciousness.

*****

I awoke to sound of rumbling and a persistent beeping. My head ached as I moved, my entire body stiff and cold. As I tried to blink some sense back into myself, my fingers tightened around the radio in my hand. I glanced down at it, a memory coming through the fog.

“Grant?” I mumbled. I touched the pulsating spot on the crown of my head, wincing as my fingers came into contact with dried blood. “Damn it, Grant. If I survive this, I’m gonna kill you.”

Just then, the ship lurched, and the background beeping pushed itself to the forefront of all the noise. The overload! I staggered to my feet, reaching for the keypad, only to find it had been sabotaged.

“Seriously?” I groaned, running my finger along the ragged cracks that now decorated the Hyperdrive’s main control system. “ _Druk_!” I swore. “ _Kriff_! Damn it, Grant!” I had to get to the main console before the Hyperdrive overloaded again.

Forcing the pounding in my head out of my mind, I stumbled through the engineering deck to the maintenance hatch, finding it not only closed, but sealed from the outside. There was no way out.

“What! The! Kriff!” I cried out, thumping on the hatch. “Grant, you are so dead when I get back!” I then screeched into the radio, despite knowing full well it wouldn’t reach him. “I swear, Grant, when I get my hands on you Kylo Ren’s punishments are gonna look like a relaxing night in!”

“My punishment will look like what?”

I gasped, dropping the radio to the floor as my hands went to my mouth.

“Oh, druk!” I whispered. He heard that. Kylo Ren heard that.

“I asked you a question, stowaway.” The Commander’s voice came again, calm and measured through his mask’s filter. I took a breath, then scooped the radio back up.

“Commander,” I replied. “I apologise, I didn’t know you were there- I mean, that you had a radio, m-my radio, I mean. I left it on-board, I’m sorry.”

“It appears that you also left yourself on-board,” came his reply. “Are you the one who sabotaged my ship?”

“No!” I burst out quickly. “I was trying to fix it, but Grant, he knocked me out and sealed me in. He’s disabled the H/R Exchanges, the entire ship is going to overload if you don’t come out of lightspeed right away!”

“You’re in the engineering deck, are you not? Fix it.”

“I, I can’t, sir,” I replied feebly. “He’s destroyed the console. You need to drop out lightspeed and land, as soon as possible, before the damage spreads to the Sublights.”

“You would have me stranded on some random planet?”

“I can make some internal repairs from the main console,” I answered. “But, as long as we’re in the air, we risk the whole system going down.”

“We?”

“You, sir. Sorry, sir.” I bit my lip and closed my eyes, waiting for a response. Behind me, the Hyperdrive whined, and a new chorus of sirens started up. There was a spark, then a bang, and the whole ship surged, throwing me to the ground. “Ow,” I groaned, pushing myself up onto my hands. I scrabbled around for the radio. “The Hyperdrive is close to shut-down, sir,” I relayed quickly. “You don’t have long before-“

“Quiet.”

I immediately fell silent, wincing as the coolant system sent up a new flurry of sparks. I felt the ship shudder, and the Hyperdrive’s high-pitched whirring faded into a low grumble, and I let out a sigh of relief.

“Thank the maker,” I murmured, tucking the radio into my back pocket as I examined the Hyperdrive’s console again. Though the cracks ran deep, the circuits beneath the exterior were unharmed, meaning that as soon as I got another input console hooked up, I would be able to access the system and find out exactly what Grant did.

“Come here.”

I spun around at the sound of Kylo Ren’s voice, the hatch now open.

“Yes, sir.” I made my way through the deck to the hatch, clambering up the ladder as quickly as I could. I snapped to attention before the Commander of the Knights of Ren, praying that he couldn’t hear my heart racing.

“Who are you?” he demanded.

“Evran, Systems Analyst and Programmer with Theta Squad,” I reeled off. “Sir,” I then added, as the Commander back to pace around me.

“Evran,” he repeated. “Evran, what?”

“I have no family name, sir,” I replied.

“Orphan?”

“Slave,” I said, feeling the familiar wave of nausea that accompanied the word. “Former slave.”

“And how does a slave end up on one of the best engineering squads in the First Order?”

“Uh.” I faltered at the compliment. “It’s a long story, sir.”

“Then shorten it.”

“We should land first,” I insisted, as he came to a stop in front of me. “Before any sustained damage is done.”

“You don’t like to talk about your past.” It was a statement, not a question, and I was reminded of the rumours regarding Kylo Ren’s psychic abilities. “You’re ashamed.”

“No,” I replied firmly. “I’m professional. We have to land.” Kylo’s head rose as he looked down at me, his shoulders rising and falling as he breathed slowly. “Please, sir. I want to survive this.”

“So you can have revenge on your colleague?”

“I’d prefer to call it justice.”

“Call it what you will, it changes nothing of its nature.” With that, Kylo Ren strode down the hallway to the lift, where he turned. “Come.” I quickly jogged after him, joining him in the lift to the cockpit. Inside, my refuse sack still sat on the floor, and I bit my lip upon seeing it, wishing I had been able to dispose of it before the Commander had seen it.

“I’m sorry, sir,” I said, gathering it up and tying the top closed. “I’ll just-“

“Leave it,” Kylo said, dismissing me with a gloved hand. He sat in the pilot seat, leaving me hovering behind him. The Infiltrator needed no co-pilot, meaning the console only had one seat. “The NavCom is still online; find a safe planet to land on.”

“Yes, sir.” I leaned over the console, tapping a few keys to bring up the galactic map. I highlighted our position, and pulled up a list of hospitable worlds. “We’re in the Devaron System, Devaron is the closest planet.”

“Find another.”

“What?” I turned my head to look at Kylo, my brows furrowed. “Another planet? We don’t exactly have the luxury of choice here.”

“Find another.”

“The only other option is Quarzite,” I said, gesturing at the screen. “If we land there, we won’t be able to leave the ship. We’d have to dock at the space station in orbit. Either way, it’s too far; I can’t guarantee the ship making it on Sublight Engines alone. Getting to Devaron is going to be tricky enough.”

“Very well.” The Commander clearly wasn’t pleased, but I locked in the course anyway. “The journey will take several hours.” He rose from the pilot’s seat. “I trust there are no issues with the auto-pilot.”

“None, sir,” I said, doing a quick check of the console’s warning lights. “But the way the H/R Exchanges were set has damaged Life Support, which was running just above minimum capacity as it was.”

“Then fix it.”

“I’m an Analyst, sir,” I replied. “I specialise in data information and calibration; I’m not officially qualified for structural repairs.”

“And unofficially?”

“Well, yeah, I could probably do something,” I admitted, scratching at my temple nervously. “But I’m not-“

“I don’t care if you are qualified,” Kylo cut me off. “As long as you are capable. Are you capable?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Then fix it,” Kylo stated. “I won’t tell you a third time.”

“Yes, sir.”

*****

The Life Support system was a mess by the time I finished with it, wires stripped and clipped, but it was functioning, and that was good enough for me. I sighed, allowing myself to slide down the wall to the floor, my head aching, my eyes burning, and my stomach rumbling. I fished through my pockets, but I had nothing but crumbs and scraps of paper.

“Need food,” I mumbled, pulling my knees into my chest and laying my head down on top of them. I scratched at the dried blood still clinging to my scalp, picking solid clumps of it from my hair. Judging by the change in the whir of the engines, we were entering Devaron’s atmosphere. I allowed myself a moment to wonder why the Commander had been so hesitant to land, but when my stomach growled again, I knew I had to feed it.

Hyne had stocked the cargo, and amongst the supplies I was able to procure a bottle of water. I hastily drained its contents, before picking up another and dripping a little onto my head wound. The health packs held plenty of bandages, and I bundled up a roll to use as a rag to clean my wound. While I carefully rubbed away the dried blood, I nibbled at a fresh energy bar, silencing the hollow groans of my belly.

“Much better,” I sighed.

“When you’re done eating-“ I spluttered at the sudden voice. “-we’re landing.”

“Yes, sir,” I relayed into the radio, after swallowing a mouthful.

Back in the cockpit, Kylo was bringing us down smoothly. If I hadn’t known better, I wouldn’t have thought there was anything wrong with the ship at all; he clearly knew how to handle a ship. We landed in a clearing in the lush Devaron jungles, some distance from the nearest settlement. I opened my mouth to question it, but shut it quickly, remembering the Commander’s reluctance to land at all.

“Tell me what needs done,” he spoke, rising from the pilot’s seat.

“I need to assess the damage done to the Hyperdrive,” I replied. “I’ll need to hook up a new input console though.”

“Can it be done with what is on board?”

“If the ship had been fully repaired, then yes,” I said carefully. “But as it stands, I can’t risk disconnecting another console. With the H/R Exchanges all screwed up, the slightest change to the ship’s current protocols could-“

“You’re saying it can’t be done,” Kylo cut me off dismissively. “I don’t need explanations, I need answers. If the answer to my question is no, say ‘no’.”

“Yes, sir. I mean, no, sir, it can’t be done.”

“Very well.” Kylo Ren sighed through his mask. “There will be a shipyard in Tikaroo,” he then said. “Go, get what you need.”

“Uh…” I stared at him, frowning. “I don’t have any credits.” Not to mention the nearest settlement, presumably Tikaroo, was hours away. Even if I could get what we needed, I wouldn’t be able to carry it all back. I knew better than to say this, however. One problem at a time.

“They will accept trade.”

“I have nothing to trade either.”

Kylo turned on me, all calmness leeching away as he towered over me. I could feel displeasure radiating from him, but I forced myself not to look away.

“I’m sorry, sir,” I managed to say calmly. “The only cargo we have is weapons, and weapon trading is illegal.”

Kylo remained silent for several long seconds. I couldn’t see his face, but I got the distinct impression he wasn’t blinking.

“I will accompany you,” he finally said.

“If you have credits, I can-“

“I do not need credits.” Turning on his heel, he strode into the lift, not waiting for me this time before hitting the button to close the doors and go down to the lower deck.

“Damn it,” I mumbled, rubbing at my eyes with the heel of my palms. I didn’t like the sound of that, but there was nothing I could do. I could only pray it didn’t mean violence, though the rumours regarding the Commander’s temper didn’t give me much hope.

I called the lift back up, and rode it down. When I door slid open, I was stunned to be greeted with Kylo Ren’s naked back as he bent over one of the bunks in the ship’s wall. As he rose to his full height, he pulled a white tunic over his head, and I realised he had also removed his helmet.

“Um…” I gaped awkwardly at the Commander, and he looked over his shoulder at me. Through a mess of black hair, I could see the end of a long nose and thick lips. “W-what’re you-“

“I do not intend to be recognised,” he spoke over my question, his voice clear and deep. He then pulled on a rough woollen sweater, a soft grey. Behind him, on top of the bunk, lay a swirl of black fabric, along with his helmet, the snout of which seemed to have retracted. He was right; that mask was iconic enough, even in the farthest reaches of space.

“Okay,” I said. I looked down at myself. Though my clothes were fairly nondescript, the black trousers of the First Order uniform, and a once-white vest, they were stained with oil, dirt and blood. “Should I-“ Another sweater hit me in the face, answering my question before I could ask it. I quickly pulled it over my head. It was a light brown colour, made of the same rough wool as the Commander’s, but smaller. I wondered why he might have something that clearly did not fit him, but as I breathed in the distinct smell of a well-worn garment, I realised it must’ve been from his younger days. “Thank you, sir,” I said quietly.

“You will not call me ‘sir’ in the company of strangers,” Kylo stated, striding past me and down the hallway to the cargo room. He began to set up the speeder that was parked there; luckily Brace had thought to prioritise refuelling it.

“What will I call you?” I asked.

“Whatever you wish.” Kylo was bent over the speeder, which I was realising wasn’t exactly built for two people.

“Are we both gonna be-“

“Yes.”

I was getting fed up of being interrupted, but there was little I could do about it. Kylo hit the button to lower the ramp, and a rush of warm jungle air swarmed into the ship. I followed once again, as Kylo walked the speeder down the ramp, then hit the button to raise it and seal the ship. He swung his leg over the speeder, and once he was seated, I did the same, trying to keep some space between us, however small.

“You’ll fall off,” he stated simply, firing up the speeder. As the speeder lurched forward, so did I, instinctively grabbing fistfuls of Kylo’s sweater. He said nothing, and we set off, weaving through the trees and valleys toward the settlement.

What would’ve taken hours on foot, took us little more than one on the speeder. We arrived at the settlement of Tikaroo covered in sweat and grime from the jungle, just as the sun was going down. I looked around at the shabby buildings around us, made from assorted materials and covered in tarps and fabrics, long bleached from sunlight. Kylo steered us towards the centre of the town, seemingly knowing his way around. I wondered if he had been there before, or if his mysterious psychic senses were guiding him. I knew better than to ask.

We stopped in the shadow of a shipyard, several different ships of varying sizes all docked around a landing pad. A Devaronian male, with crimson skin and dark horns, approached us, his eyes flickering from top to tail as he took us in.

“That was your ship that passed over then?” he asked, stuffing his hands in his pockets as he puffed out his chest. “Where’d you land it?”

“You don’t need to know,” Kylo said smoothly, allowing me to climb off the speeder before he did the same.

“I don’t need to know,” the Devaronian agreed amicably.

“We need parts,” Kylo then said, gesturing to me. “She’ll give you a list of what we need, and we’ll also need a cargo transport.” The Devaronian turned to me, and I began to reel off the list I had compiled in my head turning the journey on the speeder.

“That’s a lot to get together at this time of day,” he said when I was finished, looking down at the pad he had scribbled my list on. He scratched underneath one of his horns. “Some of it’ll need to come from the salvage yard.” He then narrowed his eyes at Kylo. “I hope you got the credits to cover all this.”

“I’ve already paid you,” Kylo replied.

“You’ve already paid me,” the Devaronian said with a nod. “That’s all right then.”

“I want it all ready by morning,” Kylo stated.

“That’s a big ask,” the Devaronian said, frowning.

“Which is why I paid upfront,” Kylo replied. “We will return first thing tomorrow.”

I was left gaping at the Devaronian as Kylo strode away, unsure of how I felt about what just happened. Sure, I had heard all kinds of rumours regarding the Knight of Ren, but actually seeing his power in action. All he had done was spoken the words, and the poor mechanic had been fooled into believing them.

“Evran,” Kylo said, beckoning to me. “Come.”

“Um, bye,” I mumbled to the Devaronian, before following Kylo once more.

“You’re conflicted,” Kylo said to me as we walked.

“Y-yeah,” I replied lowly, ducking my head as we passed a group of Devaronian teenagers. “It’s stealing, isn’t it?”

“It’s necessary,” Kylo said. “I take no joy in deceiving the man.”

“Right…” I wasn’t sure if I believed that, but I didn’t press the subject. Once again, Kylo seemed to know where he was going as we walked through the streets. “Have you been here before?” I asked.

“Yes,” was all he said, the clipped tone of his voice making it clear the topic was not open for discussion.

“I imagine you’ve been lots of places,” I went on. Kylo said nothing. “I haven’t…well, I’ve been to a few, but I haven’t travelled, not really.”

“Be quiet.” That was the end of that.

We arrived at what I assumed to be an inn of sorts. Instead of a lobby, we stepped into a crowded cantina, full of shouts and laughs. Some sort of music droned in the background, a live band playing instruments I couldn’t name.

“What can I get you two?” the barman asked, tapping along to the beat on the countertop.

“A room,” Kylo replied. The barman gave us both a look, smirking.

“Afraid we don’t have a honeymoon suite,” he said. “Just regular ol’ beds.”

“A room,” Kylo repeated, his voice taking on that smooth measured tone again. “A quiet room.”

“A quiet room,” the barman said, selecting a set of room keys from a placard on the wall. “Number One, top of the stairs.”

Kylo took the keys, and set off towards the stairs, but I lingered a moment as a waitress appeared from a door behind the bar, holding a tray of steaming food, some sort of meat casserole dish. My stomach let out a pitiful whine, and I turned to Kylo with questioning eyes. He gave me a tired look, but returned to the bar.

“Have dinner and drinks brought up,” he told the barman. “Knock on door and leave them outside.” He then gave me another look, eyebrows raised as if to say ‘happy now?’ I smiled, but he just turned away, climbing the stairs. This time I followed.

Room Number One was on the top floor, and appeared to be the only room. Inside, it was larger than I had expected, bringing me to wonder if it was for special visitors. The four walls were rough stone, painted a sort of beige, and a balcony led outside, overlooking the town and giving a picturesque view of the jungle in the distance. The refresher was clean and spacious, with both shower and bath options. It had been some time since I had a bath, and I looked at the tub longingly.

“Would you mind if I-“

“Do as you wish,” Kylo said dismissively. He was stood on the balcony, facing outwards, standing with his hands clasped behind his back. He was still, and I felt a sense of calm from him. I left him to it, and closed myself in the bathroom.

While the tub filled, I perused the selection of sample-sized soaps and gels that had been set out on the shelf. Picking up the softest scented one I could find, I then filled the sink with warm water and stripped down. I started with my vest, rubbing the fabric together to break up the dirt and blood, adding soap whenever needed. I did the same with my trousers and underwear, but I left Kylo’s sweater as it was. It didn’t need washed, and besides, I liked how it smelled. There was something comforting in the fact that it was his, my big scary Commander’s childhood sweater. Finally, I unwrapped the black strapping I used to cover the inside of my forearm, revealing the brands that once marked me as a slave.

I was careful of my wound as I washed my hair in the tub, glad to finally get properly clean. As I allowed myself to relax, I laid my arms on the edges of the tub, my eyes closed and my body thrumming. Eventually, my eyes open and drifted to my left arm. Now that I had removed the black band that covered my slave brands, they were visible to the open air, something that I only allowed in absolute privacy. I had three, the once seared skin now healed to white scars. Kylo Ren was the first person I’d ever told of my past, and only because I knew I couldn’t lie to him.

Kylo. I thought of his face, handsome in a unique way. I had always assumed that he hid something underneath that mask, some disfigurement or scar. Perhaps his handsomeness was worse. To be feared and respected is an important part of command, and beauty is rarely taken seriously. Describing him made him sound like a fairytale; luscious black hair, full pink lips, deep eyes full of emotion, a sharp nose and jawline. Even the smattering of freckles and moles only added to his elegance. He could be royalty, looking like that. And his voice…deep and powerful, just like with the mask, and yet without it, he gained a humanity sorely lacking. Or perhaps a humanity wilfully discarded. He was certainly a difficult man to figure out. Why was I even trying?

I sighed, forcing myself to sit up. If I stayed in the bath much longer, I’d fall asleep. There were a pair of towels hung from the back of the door, and I dried myself off, before wrapping one around me. The towel was slightly rough, clearly well-used, but I was accustomed to similar towels back on base. A jolt in my chest nearly sent me to my knees, realising Grant was still there, eating and laughing with my friends, believing he had sent me to my death. I sat on the edge of the bath, taking measured breaths. We were going to get back, I reminded myself. And Grant would be punished. He would be outed as a traitor. He tried to kill me. He tried to kill Kylo Ren. He’d never see the light of day again. That thought was enough to pacify me, and I exited the bathroom.

Kylo was where I left him, still staring out across Devaron, but a tray of food and drinks sat upon the table against the far wall, and I made straight for it.

“Don’t you want any?” I asked.

“No.” He was unmoving.

“Suit yourself,” I murmured, digging in. I had no idea what kind of meat was in the casserole, and only recognised some of the vegetables, but it was delicious. If Kylo hadn’t been there, I likely would’ve licked the bowl clean. I stared at his portion, not quite sated, but I couldn’t bring myself to ask him again.

He remained on the balcony for a good while longer. I hung my clothes up, using a hairdryer to dry my hair, and take the worst of the wetness from my clothes. I was dry underneath my towel, but my clothes were still damp, leaving me with nothing to wear but Kylo’s sweater. Luckily, though small for him, it hung down to my mid thighs, and though it felt indecent to be wearing so little in the presence of my commander, it also gave me something of a rush.

Now that the sun had set, the night was growing colder, but Kylo still didn’t come inside. I sat on the bed opposite the balcony, content to stare at him and wonder. I was beginning to drift off, when I heard footsteps, my eyes fluttering open to see him closing the balcony doors.

“You okay?” I heard myself ask. I let out a yawn, covering my mouth with my hand. “Dinner’s cold.”

“Tell me your story,” Kylo said, taking a seat at the table. He didn’t touch the food, but poured himself a drink, lifting it to his lips.

“Um…sorry?”

“It was a long story, if I recall,” he said. “Tell me.”

“Oh.” He was referring to my past. “I’d rather not talk about it, sir.”

“There’s little else to do,” he pointed out, looking around the room.

“Then you tell me your story,” I suggested. My heart fluttered when he let out a soft chuckle.

“My story is not for the faint-hearted,” he replied, narrowing his eyes at me.

“Neither’s mine,” I countered.

“You think me faint of heart?”

“No, but neither am I.”

“Then why not tell me?” He had me there.

“I guess I just don’t like remembering, sir,” I said, shrugging.

“Is that why you cover the branding on your arm?”

“How did you…” I trailed off, realising the stupidity of the question. “I don’t like to see them.”

“Them?” Kylo’s brows twitched.

“I have three.” I placed a hand over my forearm, even though my sleeves already covered them.

“Three brands?”

“Yes.”

“Let me see.” He approached the bed without waiting for an answer, taking my left wrist and pushing the sleeve up. In the back of my mind, I thought about protesting, but there was something intimate about his touch. Something I liked. “Tell me,” he said again, running his thumb over the depressed skin.

“I lived in a small village,” I began, my voice quiet. I stared at his face while I spoke, but he never lifted his eyes from my arm. “My father had been a soldier, sent off to war before I was ever born. He never came home, whether by choice or by death, I don’t know. I lived with my mother, happy enough, until the slavers came.” I let out a shuddering breath. I had never told this story before, never said the words out loud, and I was surprised by the immediate effect they had on me. I felt my hands shake.

“Go on,” Kylo said, blinking slowly, his long lashes as thick and as black as his hair.

“My mother was killed for resisting,” I continued. “So were a lot of the adults. Whoever was left was rounded up and packed into a cargo transport. I suppose to the slavers, that’s all we were really. I got my first brand a few days later, when I was sold to a junker.” I touched the first brand, closest to the crease of my elbow. It was about an inch big, a hammer, with the letter ‘U’ curled beneath it. “Ujar wasn’t that bad of a master. He took on a lot of kids, sent us out to the scrapyards to collect materials. When we got older, we got sold on. Well, most of us.”

“And this one?” Kylo stroked the second brand, smaller than the first, an anvil, with the same ‘U’.

“I was good at basic labour,” I explained. “Strong, hard-working. Instead of selling me, Ujar kept me on, a bit like an apprentice. Some of the finds in the scrapyards could be salvaged and repaired, something I was good at. Ujar sold whatever I fixed for more than the scrap itself would’ve made. I figured I’d spend the rest of my days there, probably would’ve have if I hadn’t been female.”

“So this is…” Kylo trailed off, his thumb tracing the third brand, an apple with a cursive ‘L’ inside.

“I was sold on as a pleasure slave as soon as Ujar realised he’d get a decent price on me,” I gestured at my body, my breasts slightly larger than average, my waist curving in and out to my hips. Kylo’s eyes finally left my brands to rake over my chest, and his lips parted slightly, just for a moment.

“How did you come to the First Order?” he asked, his voice a low rumble.

“I was bought by a General,” I replied, feeling my cheeks flush. “He visited the pleasure house regularly, and decided he ‘loved’ me. He didn’t, I wasn’t stupid enough to believe that, but he wanted me to himself, so he bought me, under the guise of freeing me. For a few months, I was his personal toy, answering to his beck and call, whenever and however he wanted me.” The apple of Kylo’s neck dipped as he swallowed. “Until he got bored of me. I was cast aside without a thought, and if I hadn’t been expecting that all along, I might’ve ended up little more than an alleyway prostitute.”

“You planned ahead.” The corners of Kylo’s lips twitched upwards.

“I had filtered away whatever I could,” I said. “Credits, jewellery…documents.” Kylo’s head lifted to meet my eyes.

“You sold information on the First Order?” His chest swelled, and I could feel the beginning of anger grow inside him.

“No.” I shook my head with a smile. “I sold information **_to_** the First Order. The General was with the Resistance.”

“Good girl,” Kylo murmured. I felt the warmth of pride flower within me at his words.

“Despite the circumstances of my youth, I had enjoyed working with machines,” I went on, swallowing when Kylo’s eyes fluttered up to meet mine. “With the money I had accumulated, I enrolled myself in the local First Order Academy, specialising in Flight Maintenance and Repair. I discovered a love for Analysis and Programming, as well as a talent for it, and graduated at the top of my class. When the Order were putting together teams for deployment to Starkiller, I was chosen for Theta Squad. I’ve worked there ever since.”

“Did you know there was a traitor on your team?”

“No!” All softness of the moment fell away at my outburst, and I pulled away from Kylo with a jerk. “Of course not!”

“You’re well attuned to your surroundings,” Kylo went on, undeterred, watching me with sharp eyes as I rose from the bed. “A realist who takes nothing for granted; surely you had noticed the change in his behaviour.”

“We work hard,” I countered, my eyes narrowed. “All day, every day. I have no time to notice behavioural changes.”

“You weren’t shocked to discover his betrayal.”

“Yes, I was!” I insisted. “Shocked, furious, murderous! I had no idea he was planning to sabotage your ship; if I did, I certainly wouldn’t have let myself get caught in the middle of it!”

“Yet, you did,” Kylo said coolly.

“That’s not what I meant,” I replied. “As soon as I realised what was happening, he knocked me out. He tried to kill me too, you know!”

“No, you were collateral,” Kylo stated. “A spanner in the works, nothing more.”

“That’s…” I trailed off, my fists clenching at my sides. “He’s gonna pay.”

“Yes.” That much we agreed on. “High treason and the attempted murder of a commanding officer; he will be found guilty without a doubt. However,” Kylo then added, raising an eyebrow in my direction. “The whole squad will come under investigation, you included.”

“You don’t believe me?” I was astounded by how much that hurt.

“You don’t fall under my jurisdiction,” Kylo replied.

“Yeah, but you can vouch for me, can’t you?” I asked, gesturing between us. “You can tell the court or the council or whoever that I’m innocent.”

“Are you?”

“Yes!” My hands went to my hair, and I pulled in aggravation. “Why would we plan this together, just for Grant to throw me to the wolves?”

“A dead comrade cannot betray a living one.”

“But that’s not what happened!”

“I know.” That got my attention. My hands lowered, and I regarded Kylo with confused eyes. “I can see it in you, Evran. You are no traitor.”

“Then why the questions?”

“Because they will be asked when we return,” Kylo said. “By your friends, your colleagues, your superiors. Grant will likely insist you were in on it, if only in hopes of shedding some of the blame.”

“That’s…he’s…urgh!” I kicked out at the nearest object, one of the chairs by the table. “What is wrong with people?!”

“They are selfish, governed only by their own desires and doctrines.” Kylo shifted on the edge of the bed, opening his legs to lean forward, his elbows on either knee. “All of us, even you and I.”

“I would never betray someone like that,” I whispered.

“Because you believe it to be wrong,” Kylo said. “And you desire to be better.”

“Does that make me selfish?” I asked.

“We are all selfish, in our own ways,” Kylo stated simply.

“And governed by desire?”

“Among other things.” Kylo leaned back, beckoning towards me. I cautiously stepped towards him. “We live the way our minds operate. No act is truly done for the benefit of others. We simply detest guilt and strive to rid ourselves of it.”

“You’re saying that no one is good?” I asked quietly.

“Good and bad are nothing but words,” Kylo replied. “They contradict themselves too often to live by either one. Reason is overturned by emotion, just as emotion is outwitted by reason. There is only one truth a person can live by.”

“What’s that?”

“Passion,” Kylo stated, his eyes darkening as a stepped closer. “Passion is always honest. It has to be. To hunger for something is to want it with your entire soul, and the soul cannot lie. Passion can be anger, passion can be need, passion can be joy or love or sorrow. Passion is what we are truly made us, and only by embracing our passions can we be free.” He reached up towards me, his hand wrapping around my brands, completely covering them as he gripped me tight. “And freedom is all that matters in this wide universe. You and I know that better than most.”

“You’ve been…enslaved?” My voice is little more than a whisper, cracking as I spoke the words.

“Yes.” Kylo’s voice rumbled with emotion. “I have been bound to a master, given no choice but to follow his orders, to obey his every command. Stolen from my family, stranded in solitude amongst so many lost others.”

“What happened?”

“I set them all free, in one way or another.”

“And your master?”

“I wanted to kill him,” Kylo said, his voice taking on a painful edge. “To destroy him. He had never been cruel to me, rarely unkind, and yet I hated him. I hate him still. It burns through me.”

“He lives?”

“For now.” Kylo’s face changed with the finality of that statement. His grip on my arm loosened, his hand trailing down to mine. He pulled me forwards until I stood between his legs. Heat coursed through me, my heart thrumming as it tried to interpret his intentions.

“Kylo…sir,” I said, trying to form a question through the fugue.

“All your life, you’ve kept your passions subdued,” he told me, his eyes piercing through me. “Even when serving pleasure, you were measured and methodical. Seeing each consumer as a series of limbs and lips. You delivered divine release, never thinking to seek it for yourself.”

“That wasn’t my job,” I whispered. Kylo’s hands went to my hips, and he pulled me roughly against him. “My job was to give.”

“I want to see you _take_.” He bit the last word out with a ferocity I’d never heard before. The embers inside me began to spark into flames. “I can feel the passion filling you, fuelling you. Let me see it.”

“Sir…” I hesitated, trembling. Kylo closed his legs around me, crossing his ankles, his hands palming my hips firmly under the sweater I still wore.

“Show me, Evran,” he said. “Show me your passion. Show me your selfishness. Show me who you really are.” His chest rose and fell rapidly, his hands flexing on my hips. “Show me!” he hissed, his pale cheeks blazing with a heated anger.

I kissed him. My hands snaked around to the back of his neck, fisting in his hair, holding him to me with a desperation that only grew. His lips were thick and thrashing, opening and closing and pressing forward, never still for a second. I took short gasps of air whenever I could, and I grew lightheaded. Kylo was panting when I drew away, his shoulders shuddering with the force of each breath.

“Show me,” he whispered again, pulling my hips flush against him. My hands had fallen to rest upon his shoulders, and I gripped the material wantonly, tugging at it. Kylo released me to raise his arms, allowing me to remove both his sweater and the loose tunic underneath.

His naked back had been alluring enough, but it paled in comparison to his front. His muscles were large, full of power and promise. His skin was speckled with freckles and blemishes, along with scars and bruises. I ran my thumb along a thick line that ran down his collarbone, my other hand pressing against a large yellowed contusion.

“You’ve been through the wars,” I murmured, my hands wandering his torso. Kylo said nothing, but dropped backwards onto the bed. I made to follow, to straddle him, but the bulging of his crotch caught my attention. I pressed my palm against it, causing Kylo to take in a strained breath. My tongue peeked through my lips as I smirked. I repeated the action, squeezing with my fingers, hoping for a moan this time, but Kylo was too controlled, staring me down. He lifted one hand, and beckoned me on with a curling finger. I shook my head, my gaze going back down to his bulge. “I like where I am,” I told him slyly. He raised his hands, resting them behind his head.

“As you will,” he replied, his eyes narrowed, dark with lust.

He watched me closely as I unbuckled his trousers, lifting his hips when I tugged them down. Black boxer shorts still covered him, but I was quick to peel those away too. Once both reached his knees, Kylo kicked the rest off with his feet, leaving him naked before me. Most people would look vulnerable in such a position, but Kylo exuded such power that he seemed as in control as ever. I guess he was, in a sense.

I fidgeted with the ends of my sweater, his sweater, but decided to keep it on for now. There was something about remaining clothed for once that made me feel powerful, and I wanted to feel it for as long as I could. With his clothes removed, Kylo’s cock was free to jut upwards unrestricted. I took hold of it with one hand, just holding, measuring the feel of it in my hand, wondering how it would feel elsewhere. It had been a long time since I’d seen one; years of servitude will put a girl off the real thing; and I was surprised by how much I enjoyed the sight.

Kylo continued to watch me silently, his eyes measuring me as much as I was him. I stroked his length experimentally, biting my lower lip as the skin moved up and down with the push and pull of my grip. He was still dry, not yet aroused enough to produce pre-cum, but it didn’t appear to bother him. I pushed my other hand between my bare pussy lips, feeling my own arousal coat my fingers. I let out a gasping moan as I drew out more moisture, rubbing my fingers against my palm, spreading my own pre-cum across my hand. I then switched hands, stroking Kylo with my juices, gathering more at the same time. I moaned again, and I felt Kylo’s cock twitch of its own accord. I looked up to see his eyes fluttering, fighting against the desire to watch and the urge to fall closed. I rubbed myself harder, making my soft moan turn into a higher-pitched groan, and his cock reacted again at the sound of my voice.

“M-move up,” I stammered out, releasing his cock. Kylo did as I asked, sliding himself upwards on the bed until his full body was splayed out before me. I climbed onto his thighs, straddling them, the stretch pulling my pussy open. I leaned back slightly, making sure that Kylo could see as I circled my clit.

I watched his cock while I figured myself, letting my gasps and groans tumble out of my mouth whenever they pleased. Soon enough, the twitches turned to sharper jerks, and beads of pre-cum began to form at the head. I loved the feeling, the power that his arousal gave me. I was no longer touching him, he wasn’t even touching himself, but my own pleasure was affecting him as if I was still stroking. As I brought myself closer to climax, I began massaging my breasts underneath Kylo’s sweater, my nipples tight and throbbing. I loved that he couldn’t see me pinch and roll my nipples, and my hips began to rock against his thighs.

“Kylo,” I whispered. “Oh, Kylo…” At my words, his hips moved beneath me, jutting upwards instinctively. I circled my clit faster, my hips snapping like a snake. I pulled at one nipple, then the other, switching back and forth every few seconds. My circling turned into frantic rubbing, and my entire body curled forwards. I came, gasping, my pussy clenching fiercely. I rode my orgasm out, groaning as the waves washed over me, slowly receding with each spasm of my pussy.

I buckled forwards, placing my hands on Kylo’s pelvis to hold me up. His cock still stood to attention, dripping and pulsing with lust. My clit felt overstimulated, and my nipples ached, but my pussy was empty. I had gotten used to that. I had never orgasmed with anything inside me. Even during all my years as a pleasure slave, I had never enjoyed the feeling of being stretched by some stranger.

But I wanted it now. I slid up Kylo’s body, my pussy scraping against his lower abdomen, pushing his cock against his stomach. I looked up at him for the first time since my orgasm, biting my lower lip as I hesitated. His eyes were glazed over with lust and passion and…admiration? I wasn’t sure, but he nodded to me, his lips parted as he breathed heavily.

I slid back, allowing his cock to spring up again. It was red and hot, bolstered by blood and anticipation, and I took it in my hand once more, thumbing the head and spreading his pre-cum. I hardly needed it, but I took pleasure in the sensation, knowing it was all for me. I felt powerful again, and squeezed harshly. Kylo’s hips surged upwards, seeking more, and he finally moaned for me, deep and desperate.

“Do it,” he ground out, halfway between an order and a request. Either way, I couldn’t bring myself to deny him. I lifted myself up, and pushed his cock between my folds, rubbing the head against my opening. I knew it would hurt, the stretching, but I didn’t care. I wanted it. I held him in place, and pushed downwards.

I gasped as the head stretched me open, recognising the pain, but not the pleasure. I had never enjoyed pain before. I stilled, my teeth baring down on my lower lip, but my hips jerked forward at the sensation of a finger against my clit. Kylo rubbed me gently, knowing I was still sensitive, but it was enough to fan the flames in me back to life. I sank down on his cock, breathing through the pain and gasping at the pleasure, until I was full, my pelvis pressed against his.

He rubbed my clit again, and I felt my pussy spasm with the aftershocks of my orgasm. He groaned at the sensation of me tightening around him, squeezing him shamelessly as he gave me pleasure. I swatted his hand away, the friction too much, and seized him by the wrists, pinning them to the bed. The movement caused his cock to shift inside me, pressing against the back of my pussy, and his head tilted backwards as his body reacted. The sight of his neck, long and pale and exposed, drew me in, and I lowered myself over his chest, releasing his hands to hold his shoulders. I brought my head down, and dug my teeth into the side of his neck. His hips jerked upwards, his hands going to my thighs and grabbing tightly.

I sucked on the spot I had bitten, swirling my tongue over it.

“Again,” Kylo demanded in a whisper. I moved to the other side, and repeated my actions, biting then soothing. “More. Again.” Kylo’s hips rolled underneath me, his hands pushing and pulling at my thighs, desperate for any movement around his cock. I held myself as still as I could, biting and sucking my way down his neck and across his collarbone, but clenched my pussy over and over, mimicking the motions of an orgasm. “Yes, again.”

My lips soon began to feel swollen, and I drew back, running my tongue over them. One of Kylo’s hands rose to the back of my neck, gripping my hair as he panted. I brought my eyes up to his, sure that he was seeing the same dark lust in me that I saw in him. I held his gaze, finally lifting my hips from his, feeling his cock slide out of me, then back in as I sank down.

“Off,” he said. My brows furrowed, but his hand fisted in the wool of his sweater that I still wore. “Take it off.” I leaned back, bringing myself up to my full height, and pulled the sweater over my head, dropping it to the floor. My nipples were puckered, goosebumps erupting over my skin as Kylo’s eyes raked over me. His tongue snaked out to wet his lips, and he ran one finger up the centre of my neck to my chin, beckoning me forward again.

I rolled my shoulders back as I leaned over him, and his head lifted upwards, allowing his lips to reach my nipples. He sucked the first into his mouth, his hands now on my ass, massaging me as my hips lifted up and down slightly. I sighed loudly, happily, as Kylo’s tongue flicked back and forth across my nipple, then again as he switched to my other breast. I gasped when he bit me, but the pain was accompanied by a fresh surge of pleasure.

“Oh!” My head tilted towards the ceiling as he did it again and again. “Kylo, that feels- oh!” I swore loudly, my head dropping back down to see him smirking at me. Taken by a sudden urge to taste him again, I grabbed his face, bringing it to mine, forcing him to sit up as the gap between us was closed. He pushed his tongue against mine, before biting my lower lip, pulling it towards him as he drew back. I swore again, my breasts flush against his chest.

“Good?” he asked. It took a moment for me to realise he was finishing my statement.

“Yes,” I gasped out. “Feels good…great…amazing.”

“More?”

“Yes!”

Kylo took me by the hips, turning us over in a sharp movement, pushing me into the bed as he towered over me. His hair, unkempt and wild, fell over his face, and I reached up to push it away, wanting to see his eyes. He looked down my body to my pussy, where his cock was still buried deep, licking his lips. He drew his hips back, pulling himself from me. My pussy gaped emptily, and I groaned, missing the feeling of him.

“Shh,” he whispered. He kissed the side of my neck softly, then licked it, flattening his tongue out over my skin. His head ducked down, biting at my collarbone, then licking a line from my nipple to where he had bitten. I sighed softly at the gentle pleasure of light nips and his warm tongue as he travelled down my body. The first touch of his tongue on my clit, tip to tip, made me gasp. I had given oral pleasure many times, and thought I knew what to expect when Kylo’s destination became clear.

I knew nothing. His tongue and teeth explored me eagerly, thick lips meeting thick lips, both surging with blood and lust. When his tongue probed the entrance of my pussy, I lifted my top half up, propping myself on my elbows, taken by a sudden desire to watch. Kylo’s eyes flickered up to mine as he pushed his tongue deeper, curving it against the walls of my pussy. The bridge of his nose pressed into my clit, and he moved his face from side to side, creating a soft friction. I dropped back down onto the bed, my hands flying to my hair as I groaned helplessly. My hips started to jut forwards, and through my pleasure I somehow managed to make out the thick wet sound of Kylo’s hand rising up and down his own shaft.

“No,” I mumbled out, reaching for Kylo’s face. I motioned for him to come back up, and he gave my clit one long last kiss, sucking deeply. “K-Kylo, please.”

“You want me to come inside you,” he said, his voice a strained growl. “You want me to come as you do.”

“Together.”

Kylo took in a deep breath, bringing himself up my body. His face smelled of me, and I licked my juices from his nose and lips, enjoying the sweet tangy taste I secreted. Kylo let out a low chuckle at my eagerness, his hand on my cheek as I cleaned him. Once I was done, I let him pull back, adjusting his position. He rose up on his knees, grabbing me by the hips. His muscles bulged as he lifted my lower body from the bed, pushing his cock deep inside me in a single thrust.

The pain had lessened, but the pleasure doubled. My eyes fell closed as Kylo began to move back and forth, in and out, my entire body thrumming with the approach of an orgasm. I moaned and sighed, Kylo’s measured thrusts turning into powerful pounds. I could feel something wash over me, a cloud of passion, igniting my entire soul, and though I didn’t understand exactly how, I knew it was Kylo. Unguarded, wild with lust, he was pouring his passion into me.

One day, I’d really have to ask about those abilities of his.

I cried out as the urgency of his thrusts began to hurt, but it only made the pleasure soar higher, and I mumbled out for him not to stop. I reached out blindly, grasping his wrists as he held my hips ever tighter. I was close, so close, to that orgasm, but I needed to know that he was too. I wouldn’t come without him, but I couldn’t get my voice to work right. I was making sounds, but not words. He seemed to understand, lowering his body over mine, snapping his hips into mine ceaselessly.

“You’ll feel it,” he told me between breaths. “You’ll know when.” I lifted my head to give him a sloppy kiss before he pulled up again. “You’ll know…”

“Yes…” I gasped. “Yes, Kylo. Uhhh!” I nearly came, fighting my own body as it tried to explode. “Hurry, I’m gonna-“

I felt it. Something snapped in him, causing something else to snap in me. I came to the sound of him groaning in sharp grunts, as my pussy filled with his cum, frantically urging more from his cock. I clenched and spasmed, my back arching and my legs cramping, as my entire body was filled with his outpouring. Passion, lust, satisfaction, anger and denial, so many emotions rolled from him and into me. I felt the highs and the lows of his torrid desire for me, and wished I could return it somehow.

My hands scrabbled against his back as he collapsed over me, the aftershocks of my orgasm still rippling through me. He moaned softly as I continued to shudder and gasp, his hands sliding underneath me to hold me against him. Beads of sweat had broken out across his forehead, smearing into my skin as he rubbed his face against my cheek. I turned my head to catch his lips, our kiss a mess of exhaustion and satisfaction.

I could still feel him inside me, psychically and mentally. His mind, or his psyche, or whatever it was, slowly pulled from mine, settling off ripples of my own emotions. I tried to reach out with them, wanting him to feel how much I felt for him in that moment. I must’ve managed something, because Kylo stiffened, before abruptly pulling away from me. I felt the loss of him immediately, my pussy hollow and my body trembling.

“What’s…” I tried to ask, but Kylo shook his head. He raised his hand towards my temple and spoke one word.

“Sleep.”


	2. Emergency Repairs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo repeatedly interrupts Evran while she repairs the ship. Did she really use the Force, or did she just get lucky? (pun intended)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was floored by how many people read and enjoyed part one, so I've decided to turn this into a multi-chapter fic. There should be about five chapters or so in total, and I hope you continue to enjoy my work. Mega thanks to those who took the time to comment; you guys made me feel great!

Kylo was on the balcony again when I awoke. He was still and calm, staring out across the jungle. I sat up slowly, noticing the tenderness between my legs that signalled an eventful night, and I felt my cheeks flush. Pulling my knees into my chest, I gazed at Kylo’s back. He was fully dressed, with his hands clasped behind him. It seemed like some sort of meditative stance, so I left him to it, rising from the bed to use the bathroom.

I made sure to rinse and clean my pussy thoroughly once I was done. The back of my head still ached where Grant had attacked me, but the swelling had gone down, much to my relief. My clothes had dried overnight, and I redressed, pausing when I lifted the black strapping that usually covered my brands.

Kylo had been so understanding. He hadn’t appeared to judge me in any way. He’d spoke of his own experiences, after listening to mine. He had been…kind. I traced the old scars, just as he had done the night before, smiling softly. I tucked the strapping in my pocket, and exited the bathroom.

The sweater I had been wearing had been picked up and placed over one of the chairs, presumably by Kylo, and I pulled it on, breathing in the scent that I now identified as his. Breakfast had been served some time ago, judging by the tepid nature of the porridge that sat on the table, but I wolfed it down anyway, my stomach rumbling. I had just finished, when Kylo turned to me.

“You will return to the shipyard and collect our wares,” he stated, closing the balcony doors. “Take them back to the ship and begin repairs.”

“Uh…” I was surprised by the curtness of his commands. “O-okay. What about you?”

“I have business here.”

“Here?” Another surprise.

“That’s what I said.” Kylo clearly wasn’t in the mood to explain himself.

“Don’t you wanna talk about-”

“I have nothing to say regarding last night,” Kylo cut me off, as usual, striding across the room to the door, which he opened in a sharp movement. “Not when I have business to attend to.”

“Will we talk about it later?”

Kylo paused, halfway through the door. He turned his head towards me, but didn’t meet my eyes. His face was pulled tight, and I got the impression some sort of conflict was happening inside him.

“Later,” he finally said, with the briefest of nods. “Collect our wares, repair the ship. Do not wander the town without me.” Then he was gone, the door banging closed behind him.

“Right…” I whispered, feeling a weight settle over my chest. “Great.”

I didn’t know what I had been expecting, but I had definitely hoped for more than that. Not a huge heart-to-heart or anything, but maybe an acknowledgement that he had enjoyed it, or at least didn’t regret it. And what had happened at the end? Something had startled him…was it me? Did I do something wrong? I just wanted him to feel what I felt…

“Forget it, Evran,” I told myself firmly. “You’ve got a job to do.” I gave the room one last look, my gaze lingering on the bed. I said a silent goodbye, then headed downstairs.

The cantina wasn’t quite as busy as last night, but there were still enough people to make a buzzing atmosphere. I thanked the barman for the room, and exited out on the streets. In contrast, they were much busier than yesterday, with market stalls set up all along the main street. I walked slowly, allowing myself time to scan each stall, despite my lack of credits or trade. It was enough just to look; I had never been on a world like Devaron before, and their culture was new and exciting to me.

By the time I reached the shipyard, I had worked up a sweat in the humid air. The man from the night before was waiting for me, a cargo loader full of haulage and parts ready to go.

“Good morning,” I greeted him.

“Mornin’,” he replied. “Got your gear together.” He jerked towards the cargo loader with a thumb. “Recharged the speeder too, as per your companion’s request.”

“Oh?” This was news to me.

“He stopped by early this morning,” the man explained, seeing my confusion. “Told me you’d be picking up the stuff. Well, there it is.” He gestured at the cargo loader again.

“Thank you,” I said, approaching the loader. It had already been tethered to the speeder, hovering a few feet behind it.

“You’ll need to take it slow through the jungle,” the Devaronian man warned me as I swung my leg over the speeder. “But as long as you don’t make any sharp turns it should follow along just fine.” He slapped a hand on the side of the cargo loader. “Safe travels.”

“Thanks.”

I set off, slowly at first then picking up speed as I grew accustomed to the weight of the loader behind me. I made it out of Tikaroo without much of a hassle, and headed into the jungle, remembering the way Kylo had taken us the day before. The journey was longer this time around, for obvious reasons, but I still made it to the ship in good time. I punched in the passkey to unseal the ship, and lowered the ramp.

I hummed to myself as I unloaded the cargo, organizing the parts into categories for each part of the ship. Once everything was aboard, I sealed the ship from the inside, wary of the dangers of the jungle.

The first thing I did was head up to the cockpit and fire up the main console. I started up several analysis programmes, leaving them to run while I headed back below. I then gathered up the pieces for the new input console, and headed below.

The next few hours involved a lot of back and forth. Any sort of calibration was usually a two-person job, one at the main console, one at the system itself. I jogged from the cockpit to the Hyperdrive so many times, I had to take off Kylo’s sweater, I was so hot. Once the Hyperdrive was connected and functioning again, I was able to see the extent of Grant’s damage.

“Damn it, Grant!” I cursed, my hands going to my hair. It was fixable, but it would take me some time to reset all the H/R Exchanges by myself. “Urgh! I’m gonna kill you when I get back, I _kriffing_ swear!” I sat with my head in my hands, breathing heavily, feeling my temper coursing through me. And I had thought connecting the Hyperdrive had taken a lot of going back and forth; resetting the H/R Exchanges would make that look like a day at the beach. “May as well start,” I grumbled.

In the cockpit, at the main console, I began working, loading up an overview of all the Exchange Points, and chose where to start. Then I trekked back down to the maintenance hatch, and flicked the first switch to green. I returned to the cockpit, registered the change, tested the valve, confirmed the intake and output. Then I did it again for the next one. Cockpit, maintenance, cockpit. Then again. And again. Over and over, for each individual switch on the switchboard.

Kylo appeared while I was about halfway through the first section of many. Sweat clung to his face, and his sweater was tied around his hips. His tunic stuck to his torso, outlining each and every muscle as he breathed in and out.

“Hi,” I said, climbing out of the hatch. “You, uh, get your business sorted?”

“Update me on the Hyperdrive.” My question was completely ignored, Kylo striding past me, down the hallway to the bunks.

“It’s fixable,” I replied, following a few steps behind. “Take a while though, with just me working on it. All H/R Exchange valves connected to the Hyperdrive had been flipped to overheat; we’re actually lucky to be alive. The coolant system on this ship is a new design, one Grant clearly underestimated. It kept the intake measured enough not to explode on us without warning.”

Kylo peeled his tunic off while I spoke, balling the garment to rub over his chest, collecting the sweat that dripped down him. I bit my lip, forcing my gaze down to my boots.

“How long will repairs take?”

“A while, like I said. I have to reset each individual valve, which means going from the cockpit to maintenance and back again.” I lifted my head when I felt Kylo approach. He stopped right before me, still naked from the waist up.

“How long is ‘a while’?” he asked, displeased by my response.

“Several hours at the rate I’m currently going,” I said, turning some numbers over in my head. “And that’s just for the Hyperdrive systems. It’ll definitely be at least the rest of the day before I get to fixing Comms, which should’ve been done before you left Starkiller in the first place.”

“Will delaying repairs cause any further damage?” Kylo turned away from me, pulling a fresh tunic from his bunk.

“N-no,” I said, taken aback by the question. “As long as the engines remain off.”

“Good. Come with me.” I moved to the side, allowing him to pass as he strode away again. Perplexed, I followed him into the cargo hold, where he began setting up the speeder.

“Where are we going?” I asked, eyeing him up. “Back into town?”

“No.”

“Then where?”

Kylo hit the button to lower the ramp, and walked the speeder down into the jungle.

“Sir?”

“Shut down the main console,” he told me without looking up. “Quickly.”

“Okay…” I was frowning as I headed back up to the cockpit. I finished checks on the valve I had just reset, then shut the system down. I made sure to grab the sweater Kylo had given me on my way out.

He was waiting upon the speeder when I returned. I raised the ramp and sealed the ship, before joining him, sliding into place behind him. He was only wearing the fresh tunic on top, which didn’t have as much for me to hold onto this time, so I pressed closer to his back, encircling my arms around his stomach. I felt him tense at my touch, but he said nothing, which I took as permission to continue.

We set off, Kylo following some invisible path that I couldn’t see. We weaved through trees, sped up and down hills, until we closed in on a rock formation. The remnants of some sort of river ran alongside us, with debris scattered across the banks. Kylo brought us to the cliff wall, stopping the speeder. I peered up at the cliff, my brows furrowed as Kylo pulled out of my grasp, indicating that I was to get off.

“What is this place?” I asked, swinging myself down to the ground. I felt a tingling in the air around us, like a static electricity but…more focused somehow. “It feels weird.”

“Can you climb?” Kylo asked, gesturing at the cliff face.

“Um…” I took a few steps backwards, my eyes scanning for a way up. “There’s some footholds,” I said, pointing them out. “And a…a cave? Is that where we’re going?”

“Yes.” Kylo followed my gaze up to the opening in the cliff. “You go first, head for the cave.”

“Will you catch me if I fall?” The question was meant as a joke, but my voice quivered towards the end, and Kylo inclined his head slightly.

“Climb,” he commanded.

I took a steadying breath and began my ascent, still clueless as to what we were really doing. The strangeness in the atmosphere seemed to be coming from the cave, and as I closed in the feelings grew stronger. By the time I pulled myself into the mouth of the cave, my skin was covered in goosebumps, as if soft fingers trailed along my arms.

“I’m up,” I called down to Kylo, peering out of the cave to where he still stood.

“Move further inwards,” he told me.

“Okay…”

I did as he said, stumbling backwards with a gasp when he suddenly landed before me.

“Did you just…jump?” My eyes were wide.

“Come.”

I stared as his back as he led the way inside. My feet soon found steps carved into the floor of the cave, and the air around us became darker. Kylo pulled something from his belt, and suddenly the cave was awash in red light. I had never seen the Commander’s lightsaber ignited before, only hearing rumours of what it looked light. A long sword of concentrated energy stretched outwards from the hilt, with two exhaust ports just below the bottom of the blade, forming something of a crossguard.

“Whoa…” I hadn’t realised I had said it out loud until Kylo turned his head sharply. “Sorry.” He said nothing, continuing onwards. As the minutes passed, the sensation in the air grew heavier, and I felt a pull from somewhere in front of us. “What is that?” I asked in a whisper.

“You feel it?” Kylo’s voice was low, matching the crackle of his weapon.

“Yes.”

“Good.”

He still didn’t answer my question, and I was beginning to doubt he ever would, when we came to what was once a dead end. Fallen rocks and large boulders obscured what was beyond, but someone had cleared a gap for us to pass through.

“Did you-”

“No.” Back to the interrupting apparently. Kylo motioned for me to go first, holding his lightsaber high to cast enough light for me to see. I slid through the gap carefully, half-expecting the cave to collapse on top of us any minute now.

“I’m through!” I said breathlessly, once I was free of the gap. I turned, and gasped, my hands flying to my mouth.

I was in a hall, light pouring in from above where the roof had crumbled inwards. Columns decorated the outward edges, most of them in some state of disrepair, but still held echoes of their former glory. I could almost see them in their perfect form, so many years ago. In the centre of the floor, was a deep crater, the type left by energy bombs used in the old wars. This place, whatever it was, had clearly been the target of a massive attack.

I took a few steps forward, hearing Kylo arrive through the gap behind me, my gaze going to the very edges of the hall, where someone had moved most of the rubble. Broken statues and shattered stone lay in heaps, covered in moss and dirt. Leaves lay strewn across the floor, gathering in a pile where the wind had made its way inside. Two large doors stood at the head of the hall, mostly broken and cracked, held up by the rubble that had piled up underneath. The way was clearly blocked, as were the series of corridors that branched off along the walls. The only way forward was a series of arches on the other end of the hall, and I turned to Kylo, my face an expression of pure wonderment.

“This place is amazing,” I whispered, my lips stretched in a wide grin. “How did you find it?”

“I was brought here once,” Kylo replied, his gaze scanning the hall, taking in all that I had. There was a softness in his eyes, but his expression was guarded when his gaze returned to me. “Come.”

We walked through the arches together, side by side for once. If I thought the hall had been impressive, it was nothing compared to the courtyard we soon found ourselves in. It was just as damaged, the ground covered in craters and broken statues, but the plant-life of Devaron had reclaimed the space, covering the walls in vines, flowers growing through the cracks in the cobbled yard. Grass grew waist high in patches throughout the courtyard, and I let my hand sweep over the tips as I walked towards the fountain in the centre. It too had been broken in the attack, but water still bubbled up from inside, forming a shallow pool in the remains of the bowl.

“I can’t believe this is real,” I said, tracing a pattern across the water with my finger. I scanned the statues that encircled the fountain, half-destroyed but still holding a regal beauty. “What is this place?”

“A relic from a different age,” Kylo answered. “The Temple of Eedit.”

“And that strange feeling in the air?” I gestured around us. “That…pull…what is it?”

“The Force. It’s strong here.” Kylo paused, breathing deep. “Even now, so many years after it was abandoned, the Force remains, interwoven with the history of those who served here.”

“Served?”

“The Jedi.” The word sent a shiver through me. I knew it, but only as a whispered legend, ghost stories around the campfire. I rubbed at my upper-arms, a sudden breeze bringing a cold wind into the courtyard. “What do you know of the Jedi?” Kylo asked me, his eyes regarding me with a fierce gaze.

“Almost nothing,” I replied. “And never from a reputable source.” I gave Kylo a smile, but his expression didn’t soften. “Um, they were warriors or something, right?”

“Guard dogs,” Kylo corrected me. “Once great and powerful fighters, they were reduced to servitude under the Republic, becoming nothing more than guard dogs.” His tone was clipped. “When a greater power rose, they fell like playthings, their true strength long since lost. Supreme Leader Snoke desires to restore that strength to the galaxy, and gave rise to the Knights of Ren. The rules that crippled and destroyed the Jedi do not limit us Knights. We are free.”

“But…don’t you serve the Supreme Leader?” I asked.

“Yes, but as respected equals, not slaves.” Kylo’s eyes narrowed at me. “You feel the energy in this place, drawing you closer. That is the Force. The Jedi once drew their strength from its limitless flow, but as they placed restrictions on themselves, the Force slowly abandoned them. They denied themselves a true life, refusing basic emotions like love, happiness, even sorrow. The Force can’t flow through a being who cannot feel.”

“They couldn’t love?” It sounded so ridiculous. “Be happy or sad? Why?”

“They were afraid,” Kylo answered. “Afraid of the true power of the Force. Emotions bolster the Force, heighten our connection with it. The Jedi were afraid of losing control of the Force, that they shunned its basic form; feeling. We feel the Force within us, around us, and when our feelings grow stronger, in happiness or sadness, so does our command of the Force.”

“And the Knights of Ren?” I asked. “They’re allowed to feel happy and sad…allowed to fall in love?” I felt my cheeks redden at the question, and Kylo’s eyes flickered away from mine.

“Passion is the only truth in the galaxy,” he said lowly. “As a Knight of Ren, we are encouraged to embrace it. It gives us strength, stamina…even when I am injured, the Force keeps me strong as long as my passion burns.”

“Like last night?” Kylo looked back at me, lips slightly parted. “That was about passion, wasn’t it?”

“That was…” Kylo faltered, his hands clenching at his side. “I feel it in you, Evran. It’s such a tiny spark right now, but with the right help, a fire could burn inside you. You feel it too, the call of the Force.”

“I don’t know what I feel,” I whispered, scared and unsure.

“I do.” Kylo reached a hand out towards me, as if reaching for my mind. “I don’t even have to dig for it; it’s shining at the surface. Intuition. Intelligence. An inescapable strength and passion.” From somewhere behind my eyes, I felt a pressure, not quite painful, but firm and unrelenting. “The Force is just within your grasp, all you have to do is reach out.” I gasped as the pressure disappeared, Kylo’s hands coming up to cup my cheeks. “Like you did last night. Try to reach me, try to show me what you’re feeling, what you’re thinking, anything. Just reach out.” There was a desperation in his voice. His hands trembled against my skin, his eyes red and watering. “Please, try.” He pressed his forehead to mine, our eyes both falling closed. “Reach me, Evran.”

I tried. I really did. I pushed and pushed and pushed, my body shaking as I tried to find something that didn’t appear to be there. I tried to recall the feeling from last night, the surety that he’d feel me, the overwhelming emotion he’d provoked in me. Nothing happened. I could feel his frustration grow, his grasp on my face becoming painful as I failed at the one thing he needed from me.

“I’m sorry,” I gasped out, my chest shuddering from the exertion. “Kylo, I can’t.”

“No!” He wrenched himself away from me, pushing me back in the process. “NO!” His lightsaber surged alight, and he turned, bringing the red blade down against one of the nearby columns. He struck it again and again, crying out in fury and frustration. I stumbled back, sparks flying as the saber cracked and fizzed.

“Kylo…” My voice shook as I said his name. “Kylo, please, I’m sorry.” Tears threatened to spill from my eyes, and my throat tightened around a painful lump that I just couldn’t swallow down. “Kylo…”

He turned to me sharply, one hand outstretched, and I felt myself being dragged forward, closing the gap between us. His hand fisted in the collar of my sweater, his sweater, lifting me off my feet.

“Why?” he demanded, his voice an angry shout. “You did it before, why do you refuse to show me now?”

“I’m not refusing,” I stammered out. “I’m trying, Sir, I swear!” I closed my hands around his. “I don’t know how I did it before, I just wanted you to know that I, th-th-that I was happy.”

Kylo’s eyes bored into mine as he panted, but after a few moments he lowered me to the ground. His lightsaber was still lit, my eyes flickering to it worriedly. I bit the inside of my lip, bracing myself for whatever was to come. My head lowered, my shoulders rising, and I closed my eyes, just willing it to be over.

The next thing I heard was silence, the buzzing of Kylo’s blade disappearing. I opened my eyes to see him turn away from me.

“Kylo?” I asked, my body starting to relax. “Kylo, I’m sorry.”

“Quiet,” he said. His head lowered, and he brought a hand up to his face, sighing. “Do you remember the way to the ship?” he asked after a few moments, still turned away.

“Yes, I think so,” I replied.

“Take the speeder back, finish the repairs,” he told me, striding away.

“You’re not coming?” It was a stupid question, but I couldn’t help myself.

“No.”

I watched, the first tears finally escaping my eyes, as Kylo walked away from me, disappearing further inside the temple, leaving me all alone. I took a shuddering breath, wrapping my arms around my torso. My knees buckled, and I dropped to them, sobbing.

I didn’t know that Kylo could hear me.

I didn’t know that he could feel my fear and my sorrow and my misery.

I didn’t know that he felt it all too.

I didn’t know that not far from my current position, he too collapsed, crying out in anger.

I just knew that I had failed him.

*****

My head ached by the time the sun went down, but I still wasn’t finished with the H/R Exchanges. I had returned to the ship in a depressed fugue, and hadn’t yet recovered. My movements were slow, and my mind was scattered. I couldn’t focus properly on my task, but I couldn’t stop either. I had no idea when Kylo would return, but I didn’t want him to come back to another failure. I pushed onwards, slow and unsteady, but still moving forward.

I was in the cockpit, registering yet another change, when the ramp light pinged on, alerting me to Kylo’s return. I swivelled in my seat, pulling up the security feeds, watching Kylo pass from camera to camera as he strode down the hallway to the bunks. He paused at the lift, knowing that I was at the top, but eventually hit the button to call it down. I went back to my task as he rode the lift up, hoping that I looked busier than I was.

“Update me on the repairs,” Kylo commanded the moment the lift door slid open.

“Still working on the Heat and Radiation resets,” I answered flatly. He came to a stop beside me, but I couldn’t force myself to look at him.

“How much longer?”

“Most of the night.” I rose from the seat and stepped into the lift. “I need to reset the next switch. Sir.” The door closed, and I let out a long sigh, my shoulders weighed down by my low mood.

Back down below, I flipped the next switch on the switchboard, but instead of heading straight back up, I sat down on a knee high crate. I needed a moment before facing Kylo again, a moment to collect myself.

‘Get it together, Evran.’ I thought to myself, closing my eyes and taking a deep breath. ‘You need to get this done.’ I breathed slowly and evenly, fighting off the misery trying to take hold of me. ‘Just stand up, and get back to work.’

“Evran.”

I jerked at the sudden sound of my name. I hadn’t even noticed Kylo approaching. I looked up to see him standing at the bottom of the hatch, one hand still holding on to the edge above him.

“Commander,” I said, before lowering my gaze to the ground. I heard him sigh, something that was clearly going around.

“I will assist you with the repairs,” he then said, stepping towards me cautiously. “Here.” I looked up to see him holding out one of the walkie-talkie radios Grant and I had been using. “I’ll set the switches, you return to the main console.”

“Do you know what you’re doing?” I asked warily, eyeing up the proffered radio.

“I helped my father as a child,” Kylo replied, his gaze flickering away from me as he spoke. “Here.” He gestured with the radio again. “It will go much faster with two people.”

“Um…” I accepted the radio, but still didn’t stand. “Kylo, I-”

“Evran,” Kylo interrupted me. “Let me help.” Our eyes met, and I could see something of an apology in his actions. I nodded, rising to my feet.

“I’m on the D-Block Switchboard,” I told him, pointing at the board. “Switch 197.”

“Right.” Kylo wove past me, standing by the switchboard. “I’ll await your signal to reset the next switch.”

“Okay.”

We got to work. The time still passed slowly, with little spoken between us other than the necessary ‘next switch’ and ‘done’, but my mood began to lift. Without the relentless back and forth, I allowed myself to get comfortable in the pilot’s seat, doing what I did best; reprogramming. We finished the reset within a few hours, and moved to recalibrating the Hyperdrive. Kylo needed surprisingly little instruction for that part.

“You’ve worked on Hyperdrives before?” I found myself asking, swinging in my seat slightly as I waited for the next adjustment to register.

“The Hyperdrive on my father’s ship failed regularly,” Kylo replied. “Fixing it was the most time I ever spent with him.”

“He was a First Order Pilot?”

“Pilot: yes. First Order: no.”

“A rebel?” I asked. Kylo was silent for a few moments, and I wondered if I had crossed my bounds with the question, but he finally answered.

“Bounty hunter,” he said. “He only ever served himself.”

“Oh.” I didn’t how to respond to that. “What about your mother-“

“The Hyperdrive’s online.” I barely finished my question when Kylo spoke again. “Recalibrations complete.”

“Yeah, it’s showing green here too,” I confirmed, scanning the screen. “That’s us done. All repairs complete. Shall I get started with the Comms? Let the First Order know we’re still alive?” No response. “Sir?”

“Leave it for tonight.” The voice came from behind me. I glanced over my shoulder to see Kylo exit the lift. “They wouldn’t have been expecting to hear from me anyway. You can repair it before we take off in the morning.”

“Morning’s not far away,” I pointed out, nodding at the lightening sky through the windscreen.

“All the more reason to get some sleep,” Kylo replied. “Go, use one of the bunks down below.”

“What about you?” I asked.

“I’m not tired.” I wasn’t convinced, but there was little point in arguing.

“If you say so,” I muttered, rising from the pilot’s seat. I rolled my shoulders back, then stretched my arms out, yawning. “G’night.” I pressed the button for the lift door, slipping inside then hitting the button to go down. The door began to close over, but stopped about a third of the way. “Huh?” I moved to press the button again, but then I saw Kylo, still facing away, but with his right hand outstretched behind him. “Sir?”

“Your brands,” he said quietly. “You didn’t cover them today.”

“Oh…no, I didn’t.” I looked down at my forearm, strangely naked without the black strapping in place.

“Why?” His voice was low, guarded almost. I thought for a moment, but the answer wasn’t hard to find.

“I guess, I didn’t feel like I needed to,” I replied. “I mean, you already saw them, right?” Kylo seemed to ponder this, but he nodded once. As he lowered his hand, the lift door closed over, and I was taken down to the circular room below, housing the bunks and the refresher.

Kylo’s helmet still sat where he had placed it the day before, the curtain of the bunk drawn back. I assumed he’d be using this bunk, if he chose to sleep, so I moved to the one on the other side of the room. I had no nightclothes, and I had left Kylo’s sweater in the cockpit, so I just stripped down to my vest and underwear. The helmet seemed to be watching me as I undressed, and I stuck my tongue out at it, before pulling back the curtain on my bunk, and slipping inside the bed.

I had only ever slept on worker transport before, inside a tiny narrow bunk slotted between two others, with rough blankets and flat pillows. Kylo’s shuttle was much different. With no other bunks above or below me, there was plenty of room to sit up and stretch my arms over my head, and it was at least twice as wide as a standard bunk. The blankets were soft and warm, the pillow thick and fluffy, and there was a screen that could be called out of the wall. I was tempted to switch it on and watch something, but with the Comms down, there was no way I’d get a galactic signal. I could try local television, but my eyes were tired, and the bunk was comfortable, and I was dreaming before I realised I was even falling asleep.

The dream was the usual fare of being somewhere that was really somewhere else, with someone who shouldn’t have been there, and looking for something that I should’ve already had. I woke up with the strangest feeling of being shaken, but no one was there. I rubbed my eyes, yawning and groaning. My body was less stiff than it had been the day before, and I was obscenely comfortable. The rest of the ship was cold in comparison to my cosy blankets, but I shivered my way into my clothes, and headed for the ‘fresher.

With my bladder emptied, my face washed, and my teeth somewhat clean despite the lack of toothbrush, I was ready to face the day, or Kylo at least. I took the lift up to the cockpit, but he wasn’t there. I checked the console in case he had left me some sort of message, but found nothing. With nothing else to do, I began work on the Comms, getting the system up and running with little trouble. Once we were locked into the First Order’s galactic signal, I headed below again, stopping by my bunk to switch on the television screen, then continuing to the cargo hold. I rustled myself up some breakfast, an energy bar and vacuum sealed fruit, and settled back into my bunk, content to sit and watch the most recent instalment of a Twi’lek mockumentary.

Kylo returned as the episode ended, and I quickly tidied up, not wanting to be caught lollygagging. He didn’t appear to be in a terrible mood, but beckoned me to follow him without a word. We exited the ship together, and Kylo gestured to the speeder, which he had left running.

“Where are we going this time?” I asked, frowning.

“The Temple of Eedit,” he replied, climbing onto the speeder. “Seal the ship, and let’s go.”

My stomach was in knots for the entire journey, and I clung to Kylo as he whizzed us through the Devaronian jungle, back to the cliff. We climbed the cliff, travelled through the tunnel, walked through the great hall, until we had returned to the courtyard, gorgeous in the morning light.

“Now what?” I asked, as we stopped at the fountain, still bubbling away.

“We try again,” Kylo stated. I groaned, my head lolling back.

“I can’t do it,” I insisted. “And failing you felt awful; I don’t want to feel like that again.”

“Failing me?” Kylo seemed intrigued by that. “That’s what upset you so much?”

“It was clearly important to you,” I replied, gesturing round at the blackened statue his lightsaber had destroyed.

“My anger gives me strength.”

“Well, failing saps my strength,” I countered, folding my arms across my chest.

“You did it before,” Kylo said. “If you did it once, you can do it again.”

“It’s not that simple: I don’t know how I did it before!”

“Then we’ll recreate the circumstances.”

Kylo’s lips were pressed against mine before I quite realised what he meant. He grabbed at my face urgently, holding me there when I struggled against him.

“Kylo-stop!” I gasped, trying to pry his hands away from me. “I don’t-”

“Quiet,” he demanded, forcing my lips back up to his.

“No!” I gathered my strength, and shoved him away. “What do you think you’re doing?!”

“It’s my turn to take,” he growled out, following me as I took a few fumbling steps back. One hand fisted in the hair at the back of my neck, yanking me into him, the other clutching at my lower back. He pulled my head to the side, baring my neck to him, which he bit down on harshly, sucking with hungry sounds. I continued to fight against him, my hands pushing at his chest, when something solid bumped against my outer thigh. I seized it, lifting it up and lighting it in one fluid movement. Kylo instantly let me go, watching with dark eyes as I brandished his own weapon at him.

“I said ‘stop’!” I cried out. The lightsaber felt heavy and awkward in my hands, the power coursing through it enough to carry its own weight.

“What?” Kylo snapped at me, his face a venomous snarl. “You had no trouble fucking me before, slave!”

“I’m no one’s slave,” I stated fiercely. “Not anymore, and never again!” I took a shuddering breath. “I slept with you because I wanted you, and you wanted me; not because of some power I might have.”

“You do have it, Evran,” Kylo replied. “You’re just too afraid to let it out; just like the Jedi, you’ll die a slave to your fears!”

“That’s not true!” I cried out. The saber wavered in the air before me.

“You’re weak!” Kylo continued, pacing around me. I turned my head as he circled me, a sharp wind sending the fallen leaves swirling around us both. “You’re useless! I can’t believe I honestly thought for a moment you might be worthy of my leadership. You’re nothing but another used-up slave!”

“You’re lying!” I yelled at him, tears blurring my vision, anger clouding my judgement. “Get away from me!” I swung the lightsaber at him as he closed in on me, but he simply held a hand up, freezing my attack in mid-air.

“Show me the truth, Evran,” he hissed at me, unflinching as he leaned close to the saber’s crackling blade. “If I’m lying, then show me the truth!” His face was lit up in red, making his eyes darker than ever. “Show me!”

“I can’t!” The tears began to fall. “I don’t know how!”

“Then I’ll show you.”

Kylo jerked back in a sharp movement, summoning his lightsaber from my grasp with one hand, and thrusting the other one towards me. I felt like I was falling, my vision going black and then a blinding white. Emotions pummelled at me, tearing through me like a razor wind, cold and then burning, pain then euphoria. Through it all, I felt Kylo. His presence was as familiar as a scent from childhood, his voice rumbling in my ears as words and sentences jumbled together. This was nothing like his mind during an orgasm. This was the culmination of all of him, poking and piercing me, trying to pull me out of a hole that had closed around my middle. I struggled in whatever way I could, but I was stuck. Kylo kept pouring into me, filling me up, spilling over the rim of my mind and soaking me. I couldn’t breathe. There was too much of him. He wouldn’t stop.

I don’t know how long he held me there, his mind streaking through my mind, trying to show me something I didn’t know how to understand. Sounds turned into muffled whispers. Sights morphed into darkened shadows. Feelings became numbness.

Then he finally pulled back, softly and slowly. The tendrils of his mind unravelled from mine, slithering back to where they had come from. I felt the absence immediately. As the last piece of him drew away, I tried to hold on, invisible fingers scrambling for an invisible hand. It slipped just out of my grasp, but I kept after it, reaching out further with a limb I never knew I had. I felt myself enter something new, like a foot in an unfamiliar shoe. It didn’t feel right, I didn’t belong here, yet here I was, still trying to grasp that hand that had held my mind.

I saw myself through someone else’s eyes, standing in a wash of green and stone. I was frozen still, yet I could see the motion in my mind, cogs turning, doors opening, alarms sounding. I could feel the emotions of a stranger, someone whose mind was a puzzle of resentment and longing. Most of all, I felt anger and frustration, both mine and theirs. His. Kylo’s. I was inside his mind.

As soon as understanding hit me, I felt it all be yanked away, like an elastic band stretched too far. My eyes fluttered open, seeing him and seeing through him. Then they closed, and I fell into a different kind of darkness.

*****

I awoke in my bunk, a cold rag over my forehead. I tried to sit up, but a soft hand on my shoulder urged me back down. I blinked at Kylo, confused and overwhelmed, but I couldn’t quite talk.

“It’s okay,” he told me quietly, crouching by my bunk. “You’re okay. Just give it a few minutes.”

“Hmm…” I nodded wearily, letting my eyes flutter closed again. I concentrated on my breathing, in and out, until I felt more alive. Kylo was sitting on the edge of the bunk now, by my middle, hunkered over his knees, staring at the ground.

“I’m sorry,” he said, sensing I was awake now. Through the hair hanging over his face, I could see his eyes flick towards me. “I didn’t know how else to…to make you see.”

“What did you do?” I asked, unsure of what I remembered and what I had dreamed.

“Think of it as the human equivalent of a system overload,” he said. “Until only the most basic of instincts were left. Your command of the Force is still faint, but now I know it’s definitely there. That’s enough for the time being.”

“You seemed fairly convinced of it before,” I grumbled out, raising a hand to remove the rag from my forehead. I rubbed it down my face as I sat up, welcoming the refreshing feeling.

“That was a bluff,” Kylo admitted, his gaze returning to the ground. “I wasn’t sure what I had felt that night, not really.”

“And if you had been wrong?”

“Then I’d have been wrong.” Kylo stood up, and stepped away. “I…” He paused, peering at me from over his shoulder. “I apologise for my behaviour, and for my words. Neither were intended to cause you harm, only to provoke you.”

“It’s okay,” I said quietly. “Just…never again, yeah?”

“I swear, Evran,” he replied. “I will only ever touch you with your permission; I am not that kind of man.” With that said, he stepped into the lift, departing for the cockpit.

I lay back down with a sigh, expecting my body to feel sore or tired, but I felt surprisingly well. Good, even. I tested my limbs, wiggling my fingers and toes, and prodded at my head and face. Apart from the still-healing wound on my crown, I was perfectly fine.

I sat up and swung my legs over the side of the bunk. On the floor by my bunk lay a bottle of water, and I quickly took a long drink. I visited the ‘fresher, eyeing up the shower, but decided to see what Kylo’s plans were first.

In the cockpit, he was running checks on the main console.

“We’ll be departing shortly,” he told me as I entered.

“Okay,” I said. “Oh, I got Comms back up, by the way. Never got a chance to tell you earlier.”

“I’m aware. I’ve informed the First Order of our whereabouts and situation. Grant has been taken into custody, where he will await our return. General Hux seems pleased about the opportunity to make an example of him.”

“An example?”

“The trial will likely be a formality,” Kylo explained. “His execution is all but certain.”

“Execution?!” My mouth gaped open, my mind a tumble of confliction.

“He attempted to murder not only a Commanding Officer, but a Knight of Ren,” Kylo said nonchalantly. “Treason doesn’t get much higher.”

“But…death?”

“You’re the one that was threatening to kill him yourself,” Kylo pointed out, turning to face me.

“I was exaggerating!” I insisted, gesturing wildly. “I would never actually do it.”

“Shame.” Kylo turned back to the console, leaving me staring at the back of his seat in an angry confusion. “Final checks are done. Prepare for take-off.”

“Not much I can do back here,” I mumbled. The Infiltrator needed no co-pilot, but there was a seat in the back of the cockpit.

“Then be quiet.”

The Sublights fired on, and we began to rise into the air. From my seat, I couldn’t see much through the windscreen, Kylo and his seat blocking most of it, but I still said a silent goodbye to Devaron, thanking it for taking care of us. I cast my mind over the serendipity of our situation, making an emergency landing on a planet that happened to have an ancient Jedi Temple hidden upon it, just as my connection to the Force came to life. I guess I had Kylo to thank for that, but I wasn’t sure how grateful I was feeling about it.

Kylo tapped a few things into the NavCom as we exited Devaron’s atmosphere, preparing the jump to lightspeed. I hummed to myself as he worked.

“Does my squad know I’m alive?” I asked, suddenly thinking of them. “Or about Grant’s betrayal?”

“They’ve been informed,” Kylo replied. “And been signed off from active duty until their innocence is confirmed.”

“I guess that’s to be expected,” I murmured. “They’re innocent though; I’m sure of it.”

“We’ll find out when we return.”

“Should only be a few hours, right?”

“No, I still have a mission to carry out,” Kylo replied curtly.

“You’re bringing me along?” My surprised was evident in my voice. “You trust me that much?”

“If I return to Starkiller, I will get dragged into the politics of your traitorous squad-mate,” Kylo explained non-committedly. “That can all wait for now; I have important matters to attend to.”

“Important matters that I’m being brought along on,” I added, smirking to myself. “You do, you trust me.”

“Trust is irrelevant,” Kylo stated coldly. “You’re incapable of betraying me.”

“More capable than Grant,” I grumbled.

“As I recall, you said you’d never do such a thing,” Kylo reminded me, smirking at me over his shoulder. I stuck my tongue out at him.

“I say a lot of things,” I replied dismissively.

“I know when you are being sincere.”

“You didn’t know I wouldn’t kill Grant.”

“I knew, I was just disappointed.”

I chuckled at his statement, reminding me of the cliché parental response in a myriad of television shows. The ‘I’m not angry, I just disappointed’ moment that’s supposed to hurt much more than being yelled at.

“So where _are_ we going?” I then asked. Kylo hesitated for a moment.

“Utapau,” he answered. I frowned, cocking my head to the side.

“That’s on the other side of the Outer Rim,” I said. “What could you possibly need all the way out there?”

“You don’t need to concern yourself with that,” Kylo told me. “Isn’t there something you can be doing down below?” he then asked, dismissing me with a wave of his hand.

“Yeah, probably.”

“Then go; I don’t need an audience.”

Doing as I was bid, I rode the lift back down, deciding that I was going to have a nice long shower. I rummaged through Kylo’s bunk for fresh clothes, finding another white tunic. I held it up against my body, satisfied when it fell down to just above my knees. I could find nothing in the way of underwear for myself, his boxer shorts too big for me, so I resigned myself to washing the set I was wearing again.

The shower was similar to the ones on base, but the cubicle was larger, with glass doors that clicked closed in smooth sliding movements. Much more privacy that the wispy curtains we had back at Starkiller. I spent longer than was necessary cleaning myself from head to toe, the humidity of Devaron’s jungle climate having coated me in a stickiness I was grateful to slough off. The soaps and shampoos were the standard unscented fare of the First Order, but the towels were both larger and softer. I wrapped myself in two, one around my body, one in my hair, and emerged feeling incredibly refreshed.

“Oh!” I chuckled to myself. “That’s why they’re called Refreshers!”

I finished drying myself off, and pulled on the tunic I had borrowed from Kylo. There were no hairdryers on board, leaving my hair to air dry, and I combed my fingers through it in lieu of a hairbrush. I washed my clothes in the sink and draped them over the towel rails to dry. Back in the main bunk area, I was surprised to see Kylo waiting for me, sitting on the edge of my bunk, hunched over his knees.

“Everything okay?” I asked cautiously, tilting my head to listen to the low whir of the engines. They sounded perfectly fine.

“Our course is locked into the auto-pilot,” Kylo replied, glancing up at me. His brows twitched. “That’s my tunic.”

“I don’t have any other clothes,” I said, shrugging. “Is this okay? You gave me your sweater before, so I figured…”

“It’s fine, I don’t care.” Kylo waved the question away.

“Thanks. So, what’s up?”

“I wish to discuss your future.”

“My future?”

“It is too soon to say for sure whether you will be able to fully harness your connection to the Force,” Kylo explained. “Your intuition is strong, but you lack focus and commitment.”

“But I only just-” Kylo held up a hand to silence me, and I bit down on my lower lip in frustration.

“I can’t take you on as an apprentice as you are now,” he went on. “My time is too precious to waste training someone who may not be worthy.” My jaw tensed at that, my back teeth pressed together, but I said nothing. “However, you will accompany me to Utapau. There I will test you again; I suggest you use this time to work on strengthening your new abilities.”

“But I don’t know how,” I said, as Kylo rose to his feet.

“I have provoked you into using them twice now,” he stated, striding past me to the lift. “If you cannot learn to do it yourself, you will never be worthy of my teaching.”

I was left gaping at him, until the lift door closed over and he was gone. Furious, I clenched and unclenched my fists repeatedly, taking slow breaths to calm myself. Not wanting to stay in the bunk area, Kylo’s presence lingering, I stormed down the hallway into the cargo hold. I sealed the door behind me, and let out an angry shout, bringing my fist down on the nearest object, a metal crate.

“ _Kriff_!” I then yelped, my hand throbbing. I clutched it to my chest, furious.

‘ _The hell does he think he is?!_ ’ I thought angrily, pacing the floor. ‘ _I didn’t ask for any of this! I don’t even want any of this! I just wanna get back to base and be an engineer_.’

I knew that wasn’t true though. I leaned against the door, letting myself slide down to the floor, forcing myself to be honest with myself. I wanted that power I had inside me. I wanted it to grow and flourish until traitors like Grant feared me. I wanted to be strong, to never fall victim to anyone else’s personal agenda again, even Kylo’s. Which meant I had to do as he said, and find a way to use my new abilities without his help.

Except, I had no idea how.

*****

Night doesn’t fall in space, especially when travelling at the speed of light, but as the hours passed, I still grew tired, feeling like the end of the day was approaching according to my internal clock. I retired to my bunk after a dinner of tinned soup and hydro-baked bread. I pulled the curtain closed, burrowing down in my bed, fighting to get comfortable. My mind was a whirl of failure and frustration, and I couldn’t switch off. I don’t know how long I tossed and turned before finally falling into a sporadic sleep.

When I awoke, it felt like the middle of the night, and I drew my curtain back to see that the ship’s lights had been put on their dimmed setting. From across the room, I could make out Kylo’s bunk, its own curtain pulled over. I lay my head down, just staring at his bunk, shut off from me. That’s how it felt, anyway. I sighed, wishing for a way to understand all that he wanted me to know. How to reach out with my mind without provocation.

My eyes blinked slowly, my thoughts sluggish with the aftermath of sleep. I could hear Kylo’s breathing, deep and steady, fast asleep while we hurtled through space. I let my breathing fall into sync with his, the in and the out. I saw him in my mind, turned away from me and curled into a ball. I wanted him to relax, to respond to me the way I did him. I wanted to see him, even if it was just the back of his head poking out from underneath the blanket.

I stared at the curtain still separating us. If it had been the other way around, Kylo would’ve just reached out, and with a flick of his wrist, the curtain would swish open. If he wanted to see what I was dreaming, he just had to look, able to slip past the barrier of my skull as if he was a ghost. I thought about the night we slept together, how he knew what I wanted without me even knowing he had snuck into my mind. That’s how great his power was.

I could never be that powerful.

I narrowed my eyes at the curtain. It was taunting me now; shimmering in the shadows, hiding Kylo away. A day of failure, unable to reach anything with my mind, with the Force. I needed to be taught, but Kylo refused. I had to teach myself, but I didn’t know how. The Force wasn’t speaking to me or listening to me or whatever it was supposed to be doing.

The curtain shimmered again.

Kylo was setting me up for a fall. He knew I couldn’t do it without him; this wasn’t a test, it was a punishment. I had failed, and I deserved to be punished. How could be treat me like that?! After I saved his life, repaired his ship, shared his bed. Would I ever share his bed again? Would he ever want me after this? After I failed him again?

The curtain rustled, as if touched by a gentle gust.

My measured breaths had become angry pants, my blood fizzing with anger and guilt. This was the only thing Kylo had asked of me, everything else I had offered. This was the one thing I could do for him that no one else could, and I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t reach out with my mind, I couldn’t reach out with the Force, I couldn’t prove myself worthy of him.

I glared at the curtain. I wanted to rip it away, to tear it into tiny pieces and scatter them to the wind. It kept twitching, laughing at me, laughing at my ineptitude. The rustle sounded like breathy chuckles, the silent laughter of empty lungs unable to take a fresh breath. Mocking me. Baiting me. Tormenting me.

I sat up in a sharp motion, and grabbed at the air before me with both fists, tearing to the side. On the other side of the room, the curtain was ripped from its fixtures. Inside the bunk, sat a shirtless Kylo, legs crossed before him as he stared out at me, the corner of his lips turned up in a smirk.

“Took you long enough,” he said. I looked at where the curtain lay on the floor, cast aside.

“I did that,” I whispered, the surety of my anger replaced with genuine surprise.

“Yes, you did.” Kylo slid out of his bunk, lifting the curtain with the Force. “You ruined my bunk,” he said, regarding the torn curtain with an amused expression.

“Then you should come into mine.” The words were out before I realised what I was saying, the anger in me transforming into a sudden passion, euphoric in my victory. Kylo dropped the curtain, his gaze turning to me. I rose up onto my knees, and pulled his tunic over my head, swallowing when his eyes travelled down my body. “You like passion, right? Right now, I’m full of it.”

“Yes, you are.” His words caused shivers to run all over my skin, my nipples tightening into hardened peaks. He approached me slowly, holding a hand out. I placed my hand in his, and he pulled me to my feet. “How did you do it?”

“W-H-how?” I shook my head at the question. “I don’t- Ah!” I gasped, Kylo’s hands sweeping down to my ass and lifting me into the air. I instinctively wrapped my legs around his middle.

“You do know,” he growled at me, my heaving breasts inches from his lips. “You know exactly how.”

“Does it really matter?” My arms wrapped loosely around his shoulders.

“You cannot control a power you don’t understand.”

“I don’t want to control it.” I bit my lower lip, my eyes boring into his. “I want to get lost in it.” His smirked twitched back into place, and he put me back down on the ground. “What’re you…?” I trailed off, Kylo taking a step back from me. He reached out with one hand, lifting the curtain into the air with the Force, wrapping it around my shoulders, covering my naked body.

“I have no interest in a mere bedfellow, Evran,” he said, his words cold, but his eyes still holding a fire.

It was a challenge, unspoken yet perfectly clear. I tore the curtain from my shoulders with one hand, hurling it across the room. Kylo tipped his head back slightly, looking down his nose at me, as I kept my hand stretched out. I forgot about focus, the Force, my failure. I forgot about my fury, my fears, my future. I thought only of Kylo fucking me, here and now and all night long. That’s all I wanted, and if I had to pick up that stupid curtain again for it, then that’s what I’d do.

The curtain flew back into my grasp, but Kylo wrenched it from me before I could close my fingers around it. His hands were in my hair, his lips on mine, kissing me with a hungry satisfaction.

“Again,” he whispered against my lips. He turned me in his arms, facing me towards my own bunk, its curtain still hanging half-open. I tore it down without a second thought, Kylo’s left hand clutching my breast, his right cupping my mound. “Again.” He licked the shell of my ear, one finger slipping between my folds. I reached with both hands, mimicking a tearing motion, ripping the curtain in two with the Force. “Yes. Again.” I destroyed the blanket next, rending it into several messy pieces, casting them onto the floor like trash. Kylo’s tongue laved at my neck, his breathing heavy.

“Kylo,” I murmured, tilting my head, baring more of my neck to him. He bit down as his finger rubbed against my clit, evoking a moan from me. I arched against him, feeling the bulge of his cock against my lower back. I snaked my arm in-between our bodies, palming the swollen member, raking my nails upwards. Kylo groaned, his forehead pressed against my collarbone, the tips of his hair brushing along my clavicle. “Don’t stop,” I urged when his finger stilled on my clit. I pushed my hips into his hand. “Kylo, don’t stop.”

His finger snapped back to work, and he added another, sliding my clit between them and rubbing together. His other hand came down, pulling my pussy lips open, exposing more of me to him. I gasped and moaned, pushing my own hand into the loose trousers he wore, wrapping my fingers around his cock and pulling firmly. His hips keened forward into me, as I began to stroke. Pre-cum leaked from the tip, and I thumbed it around his cock-head, allowing my palm to slide all the way up to coat me with the moisture, which I spread back down his cock, squeezing at the base, then stroking up again for more.

I don’t know how long we continued like this, Kylo’s fingers working magic on me, while my hand did the same to him. Our moans and sighs passed back and forth, whispered names and murmured curses, growing more frequent, growing louder, until I spasmed around his fingers with a high-pitched gasp. At the same time, I felt Kylo’s cock pulse and ejaculate, his teeth baring down on my collarbone as he groaned. We came together, each leaning against the other, knees weak.

“Evran,” Kylo mumbled, his cum soaked hands trailing up my body to my breasts, where he squeezed.

“Kylo,” I replied, wiping his ejaculate into my hand from where it had splattered against his trousers, and spreading it along his pelvis and lower abdomen. He sucked at the spot on my collarbone he had bitten, pinching and pulling at my nipples, and I felt the aftershocks of my orgasm, my pussy clenching tightly. I turned in his arms, my hands against his chest, his hands on hips, and we kissed, our lips seeking each other hungrily. “I’m all sticky,” I whispered to him, and he chuckled lowly.

“I know the feeling.” He kissed me again, his hands sliding up my body to my face.

“Yeah, but I just showered.”

“You’ll just have to shower again.”

“Join me?”

Kylo drew back at my question, regarding me through narrowed eyes. I raised an eyebrow hopefully. His lips parted, and he ran his tongue along his lower lip, nodding once. I grinned, skipping away from him towards the ‘fresher.

“Coming?” I asked when he didn’t move. He stared down at the floor, strewn with ripped curtains and shredded blankets.

“Looks like you’ve ruined both bunks,” he said, glancing at me with amusement. I curtseyed with a giggle.

“You’re welcome,” I replied. Taken by a sudden idea, I reached for Kylo, trying to pull him towards me. His head jerked to the side, and I found myself shoved against the ‘fresher door behind me. All amusement was gone as Kylo stalked towards me.

“Don’t do that,” he stated lowly.

“Sorry,” I said, my brows furrowed. “Just wanted to see if I could.” Kylo’s fist thudded against the door by my head.

“Tearing up blankets is one thing,” he told me calmly, leaning into my face. “Don’t assume to be able to control me.”

“I wasn’t trying to control-”

“Get in.” The door opened behind me, causing me to stumble backwards, but Kylo caught me with the Force.

“That’s a double standard,” I muttered as he entered the ‘fresher, the door sliding closed behind him.

“Different rules apply to me,” he replied, releasing me.

“I can’t imagine any rules applying to you,” I said, relaxing into him as he took my face in his hands again.

“They don’t.”

“And how long ‘til I reach that status?”

“Depends how quickly you learn.” Kylo’s eyes slowly trailed over my face, searching for something. Behind me, the shower burst into life, as Kylo kissed me softly. I felt my eyelids flutter closed, warmth spreading through my chest at his gentleness. I tried pushing into his mind again, but he pulled from me the moment I felt contact. “Not now,” he said.

“Sorry,” I whispered. Kylo just shook his head, giving me a nudge towards the shower.

“In,” he said. I did as he said, tipping my head back under the water, pushing my hair from my face. Kylo stood on the other side of the glass door, watching me passively.

“You not coming?” I asked, pressing one hand against the glass pane. Kylo shook his head again, folding his arms over his massive chest. “Suit yourself.” I knew this game, and I winked at him, tilting my head under the water again. Wringing my hair out, I turned to reach for the soap and the sponge, but as I began to lather myself up, I felt a pressure on my right shoulder, urging me to turn back around.

I turned, letting Kylo watch as I slowly soaped up, suds covering my clavicle, dripping down my breasts where they gathered at the tip of my hardened nipples. I bent over to wash my legs, starting at the ankle and working up, sliding the sponge between my thighs as I locked eyes with Kylo. His gaze was hot and dark, his shoulders rising and falling with heavy breaths. I turned again, running the sponge over my lower back, jutting my ass out as I circled each cheek with the sponge.

Facing Kylo once more, I returned to my breasts, scrubbing them softly with the sponge, then wiping the suds away with my other hand, circling then pinching each nipple as I did so. Next, my stomach. I swept the sponge across my abdomen, then my pelvis, finally down to my mound, sensitive and ready. I felt the sponge push harder against my skin, and I glanced up at Kylo. His eyes were trained on my pussy, and the sponge, in my hand but under his control, dragged down between my thighs, then up my pussy lips, burrowing inside to find my clit.

“Kylo!” I gasped, my head falling back. The water ran down my body, washing the soap away, baring me to him once again. My hand holding the sponge was nudged away, and I released it, allowing Kylo to take over. My arms lifted over my head, resting against the shower wall, and my hips snapped outwards, desperately seeking more friction. Kylo dragged the sponge up and down my slit, its slightly rough texture proving to be as efficient as providing pleasure as is was for sloughing off dirt. I moaned wantonly, an invisible pressure pushing my legs open further. My eyes fell closed as my head rolled back, and I gasped his name out again.

The glass door slid open, Kylo’s hand cupping around the sponge between my legs. He rubbed harder than before, causing my hips to jerk and my chest to heave. Lips closed around my left nipple, and I brought my hands down to fist in Kylo’s hair. He kissed me urgently, sloppily melding his lips to mine, before drawing back, his breath coming in the same deep pants as mine.

“Turn around,” he ordered lowly. I did so, and he pulled my hips out, bending me over slightly with a hand pushing down on my back. “Palms against the wall.”

“I want to touch you,” I tried to argue, but he was having none of it.

“Against the wall, Evran,” he told me. He had discarded his trousers, his cock pressing at my ass. I did as he commanded, my palms pressed against the cold shower wall. “Stay there.” He cast the sponge aside, his thumbs pulling my ass cheeks apart. I tried to jerk away, unsure.

“Kylo, I-”

“Shh,” he cut me off. “Just like to look.” The words sent a shockwave of arousal through me, shivers running up my sides and across my chest. His cock rubbed between my legs, searching for my pussy, teasing my clit as it slid forward and back, his thumbs releasing my ass cheeks. He took hold of his erection, and lined it up, pressing the tip against my entrance.

“Kylo,” I moaned, pushing back into him. He pushed further inside me, slowly, taking in a long shuddering breath as he did so.

“Yes,” he sighed, fully seated within me. His hands palmed at my hips, holding me still as he drew out. “Yes,” he said again, plunging back in. My hands scrabbled at the tiles, searching for something to grip on to, and I cried out in ecstasy.

Kylo’s pace quickened, a steady pounding that suited me perfectly. Fast and hard enough to feel lustful, slow and measured enough to feel purposeful. Not a random fucking; a specific fucking. I could feel the difference from last time. Kylo had been drawn by my passion and anger, two things anyone could feel, but now? Now, it was personal. He had found the Force buried inside me, and brought it to the surface. Still new, but strong, intuitive, and all for him.

All for him.

I was close to cumming, each thrust stoking the fire hotter, but Kylo pulled from me without warning, turning me and lifting me. My back hit the wall, Kylo’s cock surging straight back into me, my legs crossed around his ass, pulling drawing him in as closely as I could. His hips snapped into me more wantonly now, the approach of his climax controlling his actions. His hands clenched underneath my thighs, pumping faster and faster, in short, urgent strokes. The sponge was suddenly rubbing back up against my clit, provoking my own orgasm almost immediately.

“Kylo!” I gasped, my back arching, pushing my breasts against his chest. “K-Kylo!”

“Louder,” he demanded, never slowing. “Look at me, Evran. Louder!”

“Kylo!” I cried out, forcing my eyes to open, meeting his torrid gaze as I came harshly. I could feel his cock pulse as my pussy milked him to climax. “Fuck, fuck! Kylo!”

“Yes!” he hissed, cumming at last, spilling inside me with a pained groan. “…yes…” His hips held me in place, his hands going to my hair to pull me in for a bruising kiss. “Mmm, yes…” he mumbled against my lips. He suddenly laughed, tipping his head back.

“W-what?” I asked, unable to stop myself from chuckling with him.

“I feel it,” he said, his eyes falling closed. “The Force…stronger than ever…inside you. You feel it?” I closed my eyes, paying attention to the swirling inside my mind, the vibrations in the Force, the pitter-patter of each drop of water still spilling from the showerhead. I could feel the cold porcelain of the sink, the dried semen in Kylo’s trousers on the floor, even the thrumming of the blood through my own veins.

“Yeah,” I whispered. “I feel it…it’s everywhere.” Kylo pressed our foreheads together.

“Don’t forget this feeling,” he told me quietly, his thumbs stroking my cheeks. “You’re going to need it, Evran.” I wasn’t sure what he meant, and yet I knew it was true.

“Well, you’re not allowed to forget _this_ feeling,” I replied, and kissed him again.

We rinsed off in a contented silence, drying off and wrapping ourselves in towels, before entering the main room again. Kylo cleared the torn blankets and curtains to the side with a sweep of his arm. The blanket in his bunk had escaped my newfound destructive capabilities, and he drew it back, gesturing to me to get in. I moved to the inside, expecting him to join me, but he just covered me up.

“Are you not-”

“I’ve already slept,” he told me dismissively. “Get some rest; we’ll arrive at Utapau in six hours.” Disappointed, I lay down, but Kylo lingered over me.

“You okay?” I asked quietly, frowning at the uncertainty in his eyes.

“Good night, Evran.”

He gathered a change of clothes, before he boarded the lift and rode up to the cockpit, leaving me in the almost-darkness. I curled up on my side, exhausted both physically and mentally, but before settling down to sleep, I tried reaching out with my mind once more. I felt Kylo above me. His emotions were hidden beneath the surface, but his presence was comforting enough. I felt a ripple in the Force towards me, like the touch of a hand on my cheek, and I fell asleep, smiling.

 

 


	3. Emergency Care

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Evran accompanies Kylo on his mission to Utapau, but not everything goes according to plan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to Chapter Three! Thanks again to everyone who reads and leaves kudos and comments! The next update will be an 'Intermission' of sorts, but Chapter Four is on its way. Enjoy!

I stood by Kylo as he brought us in for landing, my eager eyes scanning the sights. Utapau was famous for the underground cities the Pau’ans and Utai had built within great sinkholes that covered much of the planet’s surface. The landing pad had been built deep inside one such sinkhole, attached to an official-looking tower. A lesser pilot may have found the landing tricky, travelling straight down for so long with little run to manoeuvre, but Kylo did it with ease, the ship touching down neatly.

Whatever connections Kylo had on Utapau were clearly of the ‘higher-up’ variety, a whole squad of well-dressed Pau’an emissaries coming to greet us as we emerged from the ship. Very tall and long limbed, with black eyes and sharp fangs, the Pau’ans were often described as intimidating, but as the convoy approached, I could sense their own nervousness. They were afraid of the Commander, as indeed they should be.

Kylo was back in his uniform, complete with mask and hooded cape. As his unofficial apprentice, I too was wearing black, one of Kylo’s tunics over my First Order trousers, with a belt cinching it around my waist. I had also wound the usual strapping around my forearm, hiding my brands once again. I felt out of place, but I swallowed down my anxieties and promised myself to make Kylo proud.

“Do not speak unless addressed directly,” he told me as we walked down the landing ramp.

“Yes, Sir,” I said. I was nervous, my hands fidgeting by my side.

“And stop fidgeting.”

“Yes, Sir.” I placed my hands behind my back, something I had seen Kylo do often. We met the convoy halfway across the landing pad, the Pau’ans greeting us gracefully.

“Commander Ren.” The leader of the convoy, a Pau’an in deep red robes, bowed to Kylo.

“Minister Yondis,” Kylo replied, a slight lilt to his voice through the mask. “I trust there have been no further incidents.”

“Certainly not,” the Pau’an said, bowing his head again. “Security has been doubled, as per your request.” His large black eyes slid to me. “Forgive me, Commander Ren, I was not aware that you would be accompanied.”

“You did not need to know,” Kylo answered.

“Of course,” Minister Yondis said. “Can I offer you refreshments?”

“That won’t be necessary,” Kylo stated, striding through the convoy, causing them to break away to form a path for him. I followed quickly. “Take us to the caverns.”

“Right away, Commander Ren.” Minister Yondis jogged to catch up as we left the landing pad, entering a tower built into the side of the crater. “We have transport ready and waiting.” Kylo said nothing as we walked, the Pau’an Minister filling the silence. “Our initial estimates were on the humble side; we’ve since learned that the Crystal’s output far exceeds its size. Our engineers have re-evaluated what we know about the Kyber lattices and their alignment, but the research carried during the construction of the Death Star suggests-”

“That will do, Minister,” Kylo said, causing the Pau’an to immediately fall silent.

The transport was a small courier ship, with room for about half a dozen passengers. I sat beside Kylo in the front row of three, wanting to ask so many questions but reminding myself to keep silent. The Minister and one other Pau’an accompanied us, the rest of the convoy remaining behind. Once we were on board, the pilot took off, steering us through a system of well-lit caves until we emerged out the side of another deep sinkhole. We headed downwards, then through another cave system. This pattern repeated until we arrived near the southern coast, a massive lake forming where several rivers met.

The pilot brought us down near a much smaller cave, and the moment I stepped from the ship I felt a wave of heightened sensation wash over me. I glanced up at Kylo, fighting the urge to ask.

“Leave us,” Kylo said over his shoulder to the Minister.

“Commander?” Yondis frowned, looking to his companion cluelessly.

“Send the pilot back at nightfall,” Kylo continued as if Yondis hadn’t spoken. He gave me the smallest of nods and I followed him into the cave, the Pau’ans whispering behind us. By the cavern’s mouth were a few electric lanterns, and Kylo scooped one up as he passed.

“Can I talk yet?” I asked once we were alone. “I have some questions.”

“They can wait,” Kylo stated. The cave turned to the left, growing darker with every step we took. Kylo powered up the lantern, holding it aloft to light the way.

The sensation grew more powerful as we closed in on our destination, until it felt less like a wave and more like a current, pulling me in. We walked on in silence. A soft hum began to resonate in the air, like the reverberation of struck glass. It was tuneful, yet no musical notes could be heard. A song without melody, a beautiful paradox.

I didn’t know what I was expecting when we reached the source, but when my eyes fell on the shimmering crystal, it all made sense. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I understood exactly, yet I also had no idea what I was beholding.

“Kyber Crystal,” Kylo said softly, setting the lantern down beside it. “Alive, and yet not. Organic and inorganic. A catalyst of the Force.”

The Kyber Crystal rose from the ground in three faceted shards, barely reaching my shins. It was so small, but also huge. Massive in a way I understood only by instinct, some vestigial memory etched deep in my soul. I knelt by the Crystal and closed my eyes, listening to the thrum of life within it.

“It sounds…sad,” I whispered, opening my eyes to find them brimming with tears. “Why is it so sad?”

“The Force has long been divided into two polarities,” Kylo explained, removing his helmet as he spoke. “The Light and the Dark Side. Mundane terms for something so complex. The Jedi believed the Light to be Good, and the Dark to be Bad, proving further their lack of understanding of the Force.”

“Light and Dark?” I felt a fluttering inside the Crystal.

“Kyber Crystal is aligned with the Light Side of the Force,” Kylo went on. “Yet two lattices reside within in, the day and the night lattices. These lattices-”

“Kylo,” I said, interrupting him for once. “Why is it sad?” I looked up at him, and he hesitated, placing his helmet down as he crouched beside me.

“Because of me,” he answered quietly. “Kyber Crystals resonate with the Force in a completely unique way. Only those strong with the Force can hear their song, feel their warmth, but I…” Kylo trailed off, shaking his head. “I have shunned the Light, and now…now, it weeps for me.” He rose back to his feet abruptly. “I said I would test you again; are you ready?”

“Now?” I gazed up at him in surprise.

“Now,” he confirmed.

I straightened up, my eyes flitting between Kylo and the Crystal. I wanted to spend longer staring at it, listening to it. It enraptured me in an addictive way; I loved how it felt inside my mind, like a nostalgia, but less bitter and more sweet.

“Evran.” Kylo’s voice demanded my attention, and I made myself look away from the Crystal, turning my back on it.

“Yes, Sir?”

“Destroy the Crystal.”

“What?” I was sure I had misheard him. “Destroy it?”

“That’s why we’re here,” Kylo stated firmly. “Kyber Crystals are dangerous; they can be used to power weapons of incredible destructive capabilities. If one of these were to fall into the hands of the Resistance, the results could be disastrous. You must destroy it.” I stared at him, as he held his lightsaber out towards me. “Take it,” he said.

“But I…” I looked back at the Crystal, so pure and peaceful. It seemed like a helpless animal, completely unaware of the hunter closing in. “I don’t want to,” I heard myself say.

“You will.” Kylo closed the gap between us, placing his weapon directly in my hand. “Look at me, Evran.” I forced my gaze back to him, my hand tightening around the saber’s hilt. “What you’re feeling, the peacefulness, it’s not real. Peace is a lie, there is only passion.” He took my face in his hands, leaning close. “Through passion I gain strength. Through strength I gain power. Through power I gain victory. Through victory my chains are broken.” He pressed our foreheads together. “The Force shall free me.”

“I don’t understand,” I whispered. I was conflicted, my mind split into two, each tugging me in a different direction.

“An ancient Code from long ago,” he replied lowly. “The Kyber is praying on your emotions, trying to enslave you to the Light. Remember who you are, what you truly feel. The Light cannot bring happiness, nor justice; the Jedi who fell victim to it were forbidden from feeling anything real. The Dark is where your future lies, Evran. Passion, strength, power, victory, freedom. These I can promise you, but you must prove yourself strong enough to cast off the illusions of the Kyber. Prove yourself strong enough to dominate it and bend it to your will, before it does the same to you.”

I closed my eyes, repeating Kylo’s words in my mind. ‘ _Passion. Strength. Power. Victory. Freedom.’_ I turned from Kylo, igniting the lightsaber. The Crystal reached out for me again, frantic and afraid, but I let it roll off my mind, now understanding the truth behind its intentions. ‘ _I’m no one’s slave.’_ I raised the saber, taking a deep breath. ‘ _Not anymore, and never again.’_

I brought the saber down, its blade tearing through the Crystal. A shockwave of pain echoed through me, and I cried out, my eyes snapping open. The Crystal tried to grab at my mind again, begging me to stop, but I ignored it, striking again and again, hacking the beautiful Kyber Crystal into pieces, shards breaking and shattering left and right. I didn’t stop until Kylo said my name, and I lowered my weapon with shaking hands. I didn’t realise I was crying until a gloved thumb swept over my cheeks, wiping the tears away.

“It’s like I was killing it,” I gasped out between sobs. “It was in pain.”

“It was a lie,” Kylo assured me, taking the lightsaber and powering it down. “Alive, but not really. Kyber is devious, difficult to handle and harder to destroy. You did well.”

“I don’t feel like I did well,” I replied, sniffing as I wiped at my face. “I feel like I failed.”

“No.” Kylo shook his head. “You did better than expected. You still struggle to embrace your emotions, but when you do, they come screaming out.” He placed a finger under my chin, tilting my head up to look at him. The corner of his mouth was upturned in a smirk. “I actually quite like it.”

“Kylo…” I let out a soft laugh. Somewhat placated, my tears soon stopped falling. “What now?” I asked, my voice still trembling slightly. “The pilot isn’t coming back until nightfall, right?”

“Now, we train.”

*****

The Pau’ans had arranged for us to stay the night, assigning us a large apartment within the tower we had initially landed at. The Minister had clearly hoped to dine with us, well, Kylo anyway, and was unable to hide his disappointment when Kylo sent him away. The long dining table held several dishes of food, obviously intended for a larger party than just the two of us, but I enjoyed trying each new dish. I strode up and down the table, gathering food on my plate whenever I ran low, before returning to my seat by Kylo, who sat at the head of the table.

“Slow down,” he told me, as I set off once again. Once the Pau’ans had left us, he had removed his helmet to eat, but so far had only nibbled at small pieces of meat.

“Hey, I’ll never get the chance to try all this out again,” I replied, ladling out a portion of roasted vegetables and some sort of creamy sauce.

“Yes, because you’ll have exploded from overeating,” Kylo said. I chuckled, shaking my head.

“It’d be a hell of a way to go,” I pointed out. “Full of delicious food and leaving a big mess!”

“Just…slow down,” Kylo said.

“Did you see the ‘fresher they’ve got here?” I then asked, plate full once more. I shoved a spoonful of something greasy into my mouth, moaning as I chewed and swallowed. “It’s huge!”

“So?” Kylo was clearly unimpressed, slouching back in his seat.

“You could fit five people in that bathtub!” I stressed, gesturing in the general direction of the ‘fresher. “Easy!”

“Shall I request a few companions for you?”

“No, you’ll do.” I winked at Kylo, but his face remained passive. “Seriously, not even a smile? Is something wrong?”

“I have a lot on my mind,” Kylo replied, rising from his seat. “Finish your meal. Get some sleep. I’ll be back later.”

“Where are you going?” I asked, following him with disappointed eyes.

“Goodnight, Evran.” Helmet back on, Kylo left the apartment. I stared at the door for a few seconds longer, appetite lost.

“Dammit.” I sighed, pushing my plate away from me.

A sudden knock on the door startled me. I rose from my seat slowly, creeping towards the door. Beside it was a security panel, the screen showing me an image of Minister Yondis, flanked by what I assumed were servants of some kind, judging by their uniforms. I pressed the ‘speak’ button, leaning into the microphone.

“May I help you?” I asked politely.

“Ah, Lady Ren, forgive my interruption,” Yondis said, bowing his head. “I came to see if the Commander needed anything else before turning in for the night.”

“The Commander is out on other business at the moment,” I replied, smiling at the sound of ‘Lady Ren’.

“I’m sorry to have missed him,” Yondis said. “Is there anything I can help you with?”

“Um…” I glanced over my shoulder at the dining table. “We’ve finished eating, if someone can clear the table?”

“Of course.” I watched as Yondis muttered something to the servants behind him, unable to make it out. “Mian and Slue would be honoured to serve.”

“Okay.” I hit the button to open the door, allowing all three to enter. “Come in, please.”

The two servants made straight for the table, clearing the dishes and piling up the unused plates. I hovered awkwardly by the door, the Pau’an Minister regarding me in silence.

“Thank you for the meal,” I said after a few moments.

“Not at all,” Yondis replied humbly. “It is an honour to serve the Commander.”

“Yes, it is,” I agreed. I was clever enough to catch the double meaning; it was not an honour to be stuck with me. I swallowed down my offended pride, and waited for the servants to finish.

They wheeled the remnants of dinner out in an ornate food cart, bowing their heads as they passed me. I thanked them both, disappointed when Yondis didn’t leave with them.

“Is there something else I can help you with, Minister Yondis?” I asked, trying not to sound as uncomfortable as I felt.

“I was hoping to speak with the Commander,” Yondis replied. “Do you know when he will be returning?”

“I don’t presume to ask,” I said stiffly. That might not have been entirely true, or even a little true, but I was annoyed by the Pau’an’s disrespect towards me. He didn’t know that I was a simple First Order engineer; as far as he knew, I could have been Kylo’s apprentice. Even an apprentice of the Commander of the Knights of Ren deserved to be spoken to with respect.

“I was surprised to see him with a companion,” Yondis then said, a clear dig for information. “He is a master of working alone.”

“He is.” I was determined to give him nothing, not even the smallest clue.

“And with the secrecy of this mission; let’s just say I was extra surprised when he allowed you into the cave with him.”

“Were you?”

“Indeed.” The Minister stiffened, his tall form towering over me. “I would hate for a breach in security to be traced back to my own home.” That was a threat. The Force pricked at my skin, warning me. I took a step back.

“Are you saying such a breach exists?” I challenged him, narrowing my eyes. In my mind, I tried reaching out for Kylo, but he was much too far away. “The First Order will not accept excuses for lousy security.”

“Exactly.” Yondis made a gesture, and the two servants from before reappeared, each holding blasters. “No information can be found on you in our database, Lady Ren, with the First Order or otherwise. Your identity is unknown, making you dangerous; too dangerous to be left unsupervised.”

“You waited for the Commander to leave,” I said, realising the Minister’s plan. “Why would he have brought me if I wasn’t to be trusted?”

“Why, indeed?” Yondis sneered at me, his gums pulling back to reveal more of his yellowed fangs. “A pretty girl can have quite the hold on a young man, even one such as Commander Ren.”

“You think I’ve seduced him?” I returned the sneer. “You think that little of him?”

“Men are weak,” Yondis replied. “Especially human men.” He nodded to the servants/guards, and they aimed their blasters at me. “The Kyber Crystal was to be studied, to be utilised in the war against the Resistance, but you tricked him into destroying it, didn’t you?”

“I don’t know whether to be offended or flattered,” I snapped, backing up once more. “Kylo is the strongest being in the universe; I could never trick him, nor would I ever want to. You’re mistaken, Minister Yondis.”

“I did not expect you to readily admit to your crimes,” Yondis said. He turned his back to me, striding between his guards and out the apartment. “Bring her in. Alive, but injured if need be.”

“Come with us, Lady Ren,” the first guard said, approaching me slowly.

“Don’t make this more difficult than it has to be,” the second added.

“Shut up.” I reached out with the Force, pushing their blasters down as I rushed them.

I crashed into the first guard, knocking us both to the ground, but a sudden pull in the Force made me spin to the left, a laser piercing the floor where I had just been. I surged back to my feet, reaching with the Force for the nearest object I could defend myself with. An ornamental platter met my hand, and I brought it up to block the next laser blast from guard number two.

I threw the platter like a Frisbee, and while the guard was distracted defending himself, I ran for the door. Hitting the button to close it, I then slammed my fist into the circuits, preventing it from being opened again. Minister Yondis still stood in the hallway, staring at me with alarmed eyes. He brought a communicator to his mouth.

“Sound the alarm,” he shouted. “We’re under attack!”

I tackled him to the ground, snatching the communicator from him, and raced off. I willed the Force to guide me, sprinting down long corridors and through open doors. I arrived at an elevator without meeting any more guards, and I punched the button to take me down. I needed to reach the landing pad.

The elevator doors opened to reveal a squadron of armed guards, and I quickly hit the button to close the doors again. I smashed the control panel, then searched for a trapdoor of some kind. There was one in the ceiling of the car, and I pushed at it with the Force until it sprung open. I scrambled up the side of the elevator, using the handrail to stand on while I climbed through the trapdoor.

In the elevator shaft, red spinning lights illuminated the way, and I began to climb up to a maintenance shaft, shimmying inside and crawling through. I tried to reach Kylo again, but he was still too far away. I hoped the alarms might reach him. While I crawled through the vents, I contemplated using the communicator to find him, but I didn’t want to alert the Pau’ans to my whereabouts.

The vent brought me out in some sort of boardroom, empty thanks to the late hour. I rummaged around for something I could use as a weapon, but apart from a cabinet of drinks and the furniture itself, the room was lacking. I tipped a chair on its side, and kicked at one of the legs until it snapped off, making myself a primitive club.

Club in hand, I opened the door, peering around to find an empty corridor. I had no idea where I was in regards to the landing pad anymore, but at least I was alone. I travelled quickly and quietly, checking each room for anything that could help me. I found a map detailing the layout of the facility on one of the walls, the standard kind used throughout the galaxy for showing emergency exits and fire escapes, etc. According to it, I was on the floor above the landing pad, in an eastern wing. I needed to head further east until I came to a stairwell, the only other way down that wasn’t an elevator.

As I closed in on the stairwell, I could make out the sound of footsteps, and I ducked into an alcove just in time to avoid a squad of guards rushing down the corridor. No doubt they had figured out which way I had taken, climbing through the elevator not giving me much in the way of options. I stayed hidden until they had passed, shouting orders to spread out. I crept into the stairwell, listening closely for any more of them. Once I was sure the way was clear, I jogged down the stairs to the bottom floor.

A sharp pull in the Force stopped me from opening the door, and I sprung back as someone came through. Stunned to see me, the guard was too slow to block my attack, and I swung my weapon, knocking him out. I dragged the unconscious body underneath the stairs, hidden from sight, then discarded my club to snatch up his blaster. It was much larger than the standard blaster I had trained with during my First Order training, but still worked the same. I tucked the butt of it under my arm, and emerged into the corridor.

Heading west this time, I ran into a small group of guards, surprising them from behind with non-critical fire. I ran onwards, letting the Force guide me once more, until I was nearly out.

A large squadron had been dispatched to the main door of the tower, knowing that it was my only way to the landing pad. I stopped at the turn of the corridor, sneaking a look every few seconds, trying to count how many were in my way.

‘ _Kriff_ ,’ I thought miserably. ‘ _There’s no way I’m getting through all of them unscathed_.’ There had to be at least twenty Pau’an guards, all armed and waiting for me. I still had the element of surprise, but at most, I’d be able to take out two or three before they returned fire. I wished Kylo was there, but I still had no way to reach him. I could only hope he was on his way, able to sense that I was in danger from however far.

I thought about the Force, wracking my mind for a way to use it to my advantage. My training with Kylo had strengthened my ability to pull and push things, lifting and throwing with the Force, but how could that help me now? I tried to imagine what Kylo would do, but his skills with a lightsaber was something I lacked, along with a lightsaber.

I closed my eyes, feeling with the Force, trying to map the area. I could feel the guards, their energies muddled in a group. They were restless and jumpy, inexperienced in battle. One mind stood out to me, a younger mind, desperate to prove themselves. I pushed further into their mind, and concentrated on the idea that I could hear a noise in the opposite direction. I felt the guard respond, tensing up, ears straining. I urged them to check it out, that they had heard something, that they had seen someone, and suddenly I felt them react.

“What was that?” I heard a voice say. “Over there! Quickly!” The guard dashed away, followed by several others.

I saw my chance. I open fired as I ran forward, aiming into the crowd of guards. A few fell before the others fired back, but I dodged each blast, feeling the Force prod and pull me, knowing when each blast was coming. By the time I reached the group, only two guards remained, and I took them both down, no longer caring if I killed or injured.

The doors had been sealed closed, but I raised my hand, pushing through with the Force until the glass panels shattered. I jumped through, and raced along the pathway that led to the landing pad and the Infiltrator. I heard shouts behind me, but I ignored them, my destination so close now.

Then I fell.

Pain surged through me, from back to front, and I felt cold and hot all at once. I crashed to the ground, my stolen blaster flying from my grasp as my hands tried to break my fall. I lay there, gasping and panting, fire in my blood and ice in my bones. My hand shook as it went to my side, finding blood and seared flesh and a hole. A hole in my body. Nausea flooded my senses, my vision blurred, but I tried to get to my feet, the ship just a few yards away.

My body wouldn’t obey me, collapsing each time I attempted to push onto my knees. A flurry of footsteps closed in on me, and I turned onto my back, looking up at the guards that surrounded me, blasters aimed and ready to fire. I struggled to find the Force, wanting to pull it around me like a shield, but my focus was scattered, and I wheezed through chittering teeth.

“We have her, Sir,” one guard was saying. “Gut shot, bleeding out. Shall we finish the job?”

I never heard the reply, only screams. A wave of fury swept over me, and I lifted my head up to see a whirl of black and red by the facility doors.

Kylo had found me.

The guards surrounding me began to fire on him, forgetting me in their panic. I finally found enough strength to reach out with the Force, pulling my dropped blaster towards me. I shot the three guards by my head, but one of the others spun and fired on me again. My left shoulder burned, but I didn’t drop the blaster until I fired off one last shot, killing my attacker. The remaining guards suddenly leapt away from me, over the side of the landing path to their death. Through the haze of my injuries I realised Kylo must have pushed them, and I laughed, blood trickling from my mouth.

“Evran!” Kylo’s mask came into view. I tried to speak, to say his name, but unconsciousness beckoned, and I couldn’t resist its pull for much longer. I felt arms slide under me, the pain in my side and my shoulder causing me to cry out in gasping breaths. My body began to shake erratically, cold sweat covering me, but a soft pressure in my mind urged me to relax.

I was gone before Kylo reached the ship, swallowed by a pit of darkness.

*****

Pain was the first thing I was aware of. A distant pain, but pain nonetheless. I heard a soft murmur of an unfamiliar voice, then the pain faded into peacefulness and consciousness faded into sleep.

*****

The next thing I knew was bright lights and a metal chamber. My eyes struggled to focus on anything, everything too white and strange. I heard the whoosh of a door opening, but no footsteps as something approached. That soft murmur spoke to me again, but I couldn’t understand it. I tried to speak, to ask for Kylo, but my tongue was thick and heavy, and my eyes fluttered closed once more.

*****

The third time I awoke I was much more cognizant. Instead of lying down, I had been raised into a reclining sitting position, and I was able to make out my surroundings. The room was undecorated save for the bed I lay on, which stood in the centre of the room. The walls were metal, with thin slats showing the stars outside. Opposite me was a door, the walls on either side made of glass panels, through which I could see a droid hovering towards me.

The door slid open for the droid to enter. I had never seen a droid like it before. It had no legs, hovering several feet from the ground instead, and had three arms, one at either side, the third coming out of one of its shoulder joints. I frowned as it closed in on me, eyeing it up suspiciously.

“Do not be alarmed,” it told me pleasantly. “I am D3-X, a GH-7 Medical Analysis Unit.” It hovered to my side, placing one hand on my arm. “Your vitals are steady and in the acceptable levels for your species.”

“Thanks,” I said warily. “I’m Evran.”

“I am aware of your identity,” D3-X replied. “I will now examine your wounds.” It drifted around to my other side, untying my medical gown to reveal a large bandage on my left hip and stomach. It gently peeled the bandage away, a large partly-scarred wound underneath.

“ _Kriff_ ,” I swore, lifting my head for a better look. Pain in my shoulder forced me back down, wincing.

“The wound is healing well, no infection detected,” D3-X informed me. I moved up my body to my left shoulder, peeling back another bandage. “The wound is healing well, no infection detected,” it repeated.

“Thanks,” I said, relaxing slightly.

“You require medicine.” A small tray protruded from the droid’s lower abdomen, holding small beakers and glasses. A spout emerged just above one of the beakers, filling the beaker with a light green concoction. D3-X held the beaker to my lips, and I swallowed the medicine. It tasted minty and refreshing, and I immediately felt a rush of energy travel through me.

“That’s much better,” I said, sighing.

“The skin grafts have almost finished healing,” D3-X said. “The pain will linger for three more days, then you will be cleared for departure.”

“Departure?”

“I shall inform Commander Ren of your progress.” D3-X turned and hovered away without another word, the door closing behind it.

Kylo arrived not long later. He approached me cautiously, his face covered by his mask. A gloved hand pressed against my forehead, feeling soft and cool.

“How are you feeling?” he asked me, drawing his hand back.

“Disoriented, mostly,” I replied.

“And the pain?”

“No pain. Well, unless I move.” I gestured vaguely at my injured shoulder. Kylo nodded, checking beneath the bandages gently. He then did the same to my stomach wound.

“What happened?” he then asked, covering me back up.

“Uh, I got shot?”

“Before that?”

“Oh…” I cast my mind back, trying to remember how it started. “The Minister came just after you left…um, Yondis?” Kylo nodded. “He didn’t trust me…something about me not being in the First Order database. He said that I had tricked you into destroying the Kyber, that men were weak, or human men were weak, or something.” I paused, thinking over the conversation. “The Kyber was supposed to be studied, I think. Utilised, I think he said, against the Resistance.”

“You’re saying Minister Yondis ordered the attack,” Kylo said.

“He was going to arrest me,” I replied. “Two guards were there, with blasters, but I…didn’t go quietly, shall we say? I got away, got a weapon, nearly made it to the ship, but…they got me.” I gestured at my injuries again. “You saved me, right?” I asked, smiling softly. “I remember your voice…”

“The medical droids saved you,” Kylo answered shortly. “Emergency surgeries, several of them. You need more rest,” he then said, turning to the door.

“No, don’t go…” I reached out for him, wincing when the muscles of my stomach pulled tight. “Ah, _kriff_!”

“You shouldn’t move,” Kylo said, but he turned back to me. He sighed through his mask, a breathy hiss.

“Sorry,” I mumbled.

“Don’t…” Kylo shook his head. “Don’t apologise. You’ve done nothing wrong.”

“Feels like I didn’t do much right, either,” I replied, groaning. “Probably should’ve just let them arrest me…avoided all this.”

“A Knight of Ren never submits,” Kylo said quietly, placing his hand on my left forehead. He closed his fingers around my slave brands. “You did exactly what you should have, Evran. I’m the one who…” He sighed again. “I felt the unrest in the air, but I foolishly believed Yondis’s dissatisfaction lay elsewhere. I never should have left you alone.” He looked at me through the mask, and I felt his guilt creep towards me. “The Pau’ans are known as a peaceful species, but there are always outliers. Yondis was one such man.”

“It’s not your fault,” I told him. “There was no way to know-”

“There is always a way to know,” Kylo cut me off, drawing away from me. Anger rippled in the air, his shoulders tense as he stormed towards the door. “My arrogance blinded me from Yondis’s intentions; he will suffer greatly for the pain he has caused you.”

“Kylo-”

The door shut behind him, leaving me stuck watching his retreating form, feeling the echoes of his fury ricochet against the walls.

*****

D3-X came by a few hours later, waking me from a light doze for some solid food. It checked my vitals and my wounds while I ate, waiting until I was done before applying some salve to each injury. The salve smelt sweet, but caused a fierce heat to spread across my skin. D3-X assured me that this was it working, and left me alone.

With little else to do, I slept again until I was woken for more medicine. Vitals and wounds checked again, more salve, then I slept yet again. This routine repeated several times over the next day and a half, until Kylo returned.

My pain had lessened considerably, and I was able to sit up fully and lift small weights with my injured arm. D3-X had brought me a handheld holo-screen to entertain myself with, and I paused a game of Dejarik when I saw Kylo through the glass windows I still faced.

“Hi,” I said, Kylo striding to my side wordlessly. “Did you…you know, avenge me?”

“Yes. Yondis is no more,” Kylo replied. “A new Minister has taken his place, one with less impunity.”

“Not entirely sure what that means,” I said. “But…I liked the ‘no more’ part.”

“Update me on your condition,” Kylo said, nodding at my stomach.

“D3-X says the grafts need another thirty standard hours before I can be discharged, but they’ve healed really well apparently,” I answered. “A lot less pain, and look!” I raised my left arm parallel to the bed, then a little higher. “That’s as high as I can go just now, but I couldn’t do it at all when I first woke up, so yeah, big improvements.”

“Good.” Kylo fell silent, and I could sense a conflict bubbling at the surface of his thoughts.

“Everything okay?” I asked. “You seem…uncertain about something.”

“Your abilities are improving,” he replied.

“Yes, they are,” I agreed. “But that wasn’t the question.”

“It’s nothing you need to concern yourself with,” Kylo told me. “Rest, we’ll depart as soon as D3-X gives you the all clear.”

“You know, I still have no idea where we are,” I said as Kylo made to leave. “I mean, we’re obviously in some station somewhere, judging by the stars outside, but D3-X won’t answer any questions, and I haven’t seen anybody else but you.” Kylo hesitated, but turned back to me, raising his hands to remove his helmet.

“This is Polis Massa,” he informed me, placing his helmet on the bed next to me. He ran a hand through his sweaty helmet hair. “It was once a planet, now an asteroid field. This base is part of an Archaeological Research Council, researching the natural disaster that destroyed the planet.”

“Oh,” I said.

“It is also where my mother was born, and where my grandmother died,” Kylo then said quietly. “The Force…it’s been taking me to places from my family’s past recently. First Devaron, then Utapau, now here…”

“You said someone had taken you to the Temple of Eedit before,” I said, remembering the previous conversation. “But what about Utapau? Did something happen there?”

“My grandfather carried out a critical mission there, during the Clone Wars,” Kylo answered, placing a hand on his helmet. “This entire region of the galaxy is fraught with my family history. Bespin, Hoth, Mustafar, Dagobah…to name a few.”

“I don’t have any family history,” I said, placing my hand over Kylo’s. “So maybe leaving a mark on the galaxy isn’t so bad?” I squeezed his hand. “Is your family still alive?” Kylo pulled his hand away, putting his helmet back on.

“Just rest, Evran,” he said. “Heal; that’s all you need to worry about.”

“I worry about you,” I replied, frowning. “And I know I haven’t known you long, and that I don’t know you well, but I know something is bothering you…something important. It might not be any of my business, and I’m not asking you to tell me what it is, just…just promise me you’re okay?”

“Rest, Evran,” Kylo repeated.

I slumped back against my pillows as he strode away, irritation prickling my thoughts. Kylo was giving me whiplash, the way he’d start to share himself with me, then suddenly shutting himself off. I’d spent so long believing the great Commander Ren always knew exactly what he was doing, but now…now he seemed just as lost as the rest of us.

The thirty hours until I was discharged crept in slowly. I didn’t see Kylo again until D3-X was shepherding me down the corridor towards the landing pad. The Infiltrator’s ramp lowered, but Kylo just stood at the top, waiting for me to arrive.

“You are now officially discharged from my care,” D3-X told me. “Have a nice day.” It hovered away before I could thank it.

“We’re leaving,” Kylo stated, before marching away, leaving me to board.

Once the ramp had raised behind me, I set off after Kylo to the cockpit, but the lift had been sealed. I tried pushing my mind up with the Force, but a wall of silence shut me out. Dismayed, I was left with nowhere else to go but my bunk. My injuries no longer pained me, but I still felt the tightness of scarred flesh as I sat down on the edge of my bunk.

“Damnit,” I hissed to myself, kneading my forehead with my fist, the first bubbles of anger rising inside me. ‘ _What the hell is his problem_?’ I asked myself. I may have been unable to reach his mind, but I was sure Kylo could still access mine, so I gathered all my furious thoughts and channelled them at the wall above me. It would accomplish little, I was sure, but I got a kick out of it nonetheless; like an irate teenager blasting music.

Kylo never emerged from the cockpit the entire journey, or at least, not as far as I was aware. My time was mostly spent meditating. In the cave back on Utapau, we had trained together, focusing our minds and our bodies. Kylo had taught me to control my reach with the Force, until I was able to lift small things with ease, manipulating them in the air. I knew there was much more to the Force than that, but without my teacher, I was unable to learn.

The Kyber Crystal still haunted me. Its sadness and fear pried at my mind, no matter how I tried to shake it off. I thought back to the tears I had shed while I was destroying it. Tears Kylo had wiped away without judgement. With his lightsaber in my hands, I had felt so powerful, and yet not victorious.

My focused mind had become a swirl of conflict by the time we arrived at Starkiller. Kylo finally unsealed the lift, and I felt him beckon me up.

“Long time, no see,” I grumbled, joining him by the main console. He looked at me through his mask, displeasure radiating from him in powerful waves.

“You will not speak to me with such informality from now on,” Kylo stated coldly. “I am your commanding officer, and you will treat me as such.”

“Yes, Commander.” I was hardly surprised by this, yet my heart sank regardless.

“You will speak to no one of our time on Devaron or Utapau,” he went on. “You will say nothing of our liaisons, or your possible future as my apprentice.”

“Yes, Commander.”

“Do not seek me out,” he finished, rising from the pilot’s seat. “I will send for you when it is time.”

“…yes, Commander.” I was staring at my feet now, my shoulders slumped.

“Until you hear otherwise, consider yourself on leave from active duty.”

“Yes, Commander.”

“Look at me, Evran.”

I brought my gaze up to meet his mask, chewing on the inside of my lower lip.

“Yes, Commander?” I asked.

“This is temporary,” he said, his voice a measure softer. “You have exceeded my expectations in every aspect. Do not fail me now.”

“I won’t, Commander,” I assured me, fighting the smile I felt forming. “I swear.”

General Hux was waiting for us when we finally exited the ship, an engineering team behind him. It was Rho Squad, a capable team, possibly the next best after Theta Squad. I thought of my squad-mates, but under the scrutiny of General Hux, I reminded myself to focus. The red-headed General glared at me with his usual apathy, undoubtedly preparing to blame me for something or other. I stood to attention behind Kylo, giving him no reason to be disappointed.

“Commander Ren,” General Hux stated, nodding his head briefly.

“General Hux,” Kylo replied. “I’m honoured you took the time out of your busy schedule to welcome me home.”

“This is not a welcome, Ren,” Hux snapped. “It is a debriefing. You were gone longer than estimated.”

“Then you failed to factor in the reported sabotage,” Kylo said. “Surely even you can understand why such a thing may prolong a mission.”

“The Supreme Leader is extremely displeased,” Hux said, narrowing his eyes at Kylo. “You are to report to him at once.”

“Of course,” Kylo said, striding past Hux. “Thank you for delivering the message, General.”

I was left standing there as Kylo marched away, unsure of what I was expected to do now. General Hux nodded at Rho Squad, and they immediately sprang into action, beginning prepping and examining the ship.

“Glad you’re okay, Evran,” one engineer said quietly as she passed me.

“Thanks,” I mumbled. General Hux was glaring at me again, his hands held behind his back. “Is there anything you require of me, General?” I asked politely, bowing my head.

“You will be contacted by Security to fill out an incident statement,” he replied curtly. “Until then, you are on leave.”

“Yes, General.” I bowed my head again, and Hux stalked away. I stood there for a few moments longer, surrounded by ships and engineers and ‘Troopers in the massive hangar I knew so well, and I had never felt so alone.

I made my way to the nearest shuttle stop, and rode to the barracks. Starkiller was more than a base, it was an entire planet, and travelling on foot was not an option. The First Order had built shuttle stations in each main section of the base, with regular shuttles carrying workers back and forth. From the main hangar to the barracks, I sat slumped in my seat, watching the icy landscape pass by, until we arrived at my stop.

I was surprised to see my squad-mates waiting for me, minus Grant of course. Brace, Hyne, Kaza and Jendall cheered when I emerged from the shuttle, pulling me in for a group hug. I laughed with them as they welcomed me home, but my laughter turned to tears and I collapsed in the middle of them, the weight of my adventure suddenly flooring me.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay!” Kaza said, wrapping her arms around me. “You’re back, you’re safe!”

“I know,” I replied, wiping away my tears. “Sorry, I’m just…”

“Overwhelmed,” Jendall said gently, squeezing my shoulder. “It’s okay, you’ve been through a lot.”

“We’ve missed you like crazy,” Hyne added.

“Missed you guys too,” I said, reaching for her hand.

“Let’s move this somewhere warmer,” Brace then said, shivering beside us. “You hungry? Commissary has some of those protein noodle packs you like.”

“Yes!” I said. “Yes, that is exactly what I need right now! I’ve been eating nothing but energy bars the entire journey back.”

“You have to tell us everything!” Kaza insisted, looping her arm through mine as we made our way inside. “You’ve just spent, what, ten days with the Commander? You must have some stories to tell!”

“None, I’m afraid,” I said, shaking my head. “Classified information, and all that.”

“ _Druk_ it!” Kaza replied, pulling me close to whisper. “Did you at least see what he’s hiding under that mask of his?” I shook my head again, chuckling.

“That’s super classified,” I told her with a grin.

The five of us spent the rest of the day together, eating and drinking and talking. I couldn’t tell them anything about Kylo, but they were happy to fill me in on what happened on base while I was gone.

“So, I got the call saying the Commander was on his way,” Brace began. “Everyone had to get out of the ship before he got there, but you and Grant were still on board when he arrived. Then Grant came rushing out, saying you _weren’t_ on board, that he couldn’t find you. The Commander must’ve been in a hell of a rush, because he just boarded and left without a word. We didn’t even get a chance to tell him what had been fixed and what hadn’t.”

“Was Grant acting, I dunno, shifty or anything?” I asked, stuffing a forkful of food into my mouth.

“Not at first,” Hyne answered, shrugging. “He said you must’ve gone searching for parts or something, which didn’t make sense since you’re an Analyst, but it seemed more likely than you being stranded unconscious in the hatch.”

“We informed Supervisor Keen that Comms hadn’t been fixed,” Brace then went on. “And that was that for the next couple of hours, but then you were still nowhere to be found, and I had to report that I hadn’t seen you disembark before the Commander took off.”

“Keen went mental!” Kaza said, spraying crumbs as she spoke. “But there was no way to contact you with Comms down, so we had to wait for you guys to contact us.”

“We figured if you had gotten stuck on board somehow, then you’d be able to fix the Comms pretty quick,” Jendall then said. “But after a day or so, we started to get worried.”

“We thought Ren had killed you!” Kaza said.

“Only you thought that,” Brace said.

“Well, her and Grant,” Hyne said. “In fact, he suggested it first.”

“Yeah, that was when we noticed he wasn’t his usual self,” Brace said, nodding. “He kept insisting you must’ve pissed the Commander off, and we all know about his infamous temper.”

“Some of us more than others, perhaps?” Kaza winked at me, but I just shook my head.

“Did you figure out he was a traitor?” I asked Brace.

“No.” Brace sighed, shaking his head heavily. “The thought honestly never crossed my mind. I wondered if he maybe knew you had been aboard, and had lied to cover his own ass, but I never thought he would… _Kriff_ , Evran, he left you for dead!” He thumped his fist against the table top.

“I still can’t believe he tried to kill the Commander though,” Hyne said. “That takes some serious balls.”

“Hyne!” I said.

“I don’t mean it in a good way,” Hyne said quickly. “Just that, Grant never struck me as the brave type.”

“Anyway,” I said. “You didn’t know anything?”

“Not until the Commander contacted HQ,” Brace replied. “We were all summoned by Supervisor Keen, told that Commander Ren had been in touch, but-”

“Grant did a runner!” Kaza jumped in excitedly. “There was a station-wide red alert and everything! It was so cool!”

“Didn’t exactly last long,” Jendall said. “He was caught and put into custody within the hour.”

“Still, it was pretty awesome,” Kaza insisted.

“What happened to you guys?” I asked.

“We were gathered and told we had been put on administrative leave,” Brace explained. “That Grant had attempted to kill Commander Ren by sabotaging the Hyperdrive, and that he had attacked you and left you on board when you figured out what he was up to. We’ve been on leave since, waiting for the trial.”

“Won’t be much of a trial,” I said, sighing. “He’s as good as dead, according to the Commander.”

“Yeah, I figured.” Brace sighed along with me. “Hopefully they’ll find the rest of us innocent.”

“They will,” I said firmly. “I’m sure they will.”

*****

Being on leave from active duty was pretty boring. I loved my job, and without it I was floundering. With Kylo’s insistence on secrecy, I was reluctant to practice using the Force, worried about discovery in the cramped confines of the barracks. Even meditating drew questions, my bunkmate Philla the overly inquisitive sort.

After two days back on base, Theta Squad was summoned to Security, informed that the trial would take place the following day. We all had to supply full statements and character references for each other. I also had to submit a sizeable report on the damage Grant had done to the Hyperdrive, and what would have happened had it gone unfixed.

The trial was as much as formality as Kylo had predicted. Grant had denied involvement in all charges, fingering me as the prime suspect, but whatever testimony Kylo had supplied behind the scenes had me fully defended. Kylo himself never showed up at the trial, not that I had really expected him to, but his own judgement of Grant’s guilt seemed to be all the court needed. Grant was found guilty of attempted murder, high treason, sabotaging First Order property, and a slew of other offenses that added up to the same thing; Grant had tried to kill Kylo Ren, and for that he was sentenced to execution.

The execution took place early the next morning. No one had told me this, yet I knew the moment Grant died. I lay in my bunk, staring at the ceiling, feeling a quivering in the Force around me. It grew to a piercing hum deep in my mind, and I could feel Grant hating me, blaming me, wishing it were me marching to the gallows.

Then there was nothing. Despite what Grant had done, to both me and Kylo, I wept for him. I wept for the life I had lost, working with my squad, being the best of the best, laughing and joking while we repaired whatever had broken. It was all gone now. Even if I went back to Theta Squad, it would never be the same, but I wasn’t going back. I had yet to hear from Kylo, but I knew I wouldn’t be re-joining my squad. My fate had changed.

Theta Squad were given a day to grieve for their comrade, then they were summoned back to work, with two new squad-mates waiting for them. I walked with them to the shuttle stop, congratulating them on their innocence and their freedom. I still couldn’t tell them why I wasn’t going with them, but they took it in stride. I was sure they could sense the change in me.

I was summoned by Kylo that same day. I said goodbye to my bunk, my home for the past few years, knowing I wasn’t coming back. I had no precious possessions, just my uniform and other clothes. I had a few magazines and books, but none of which were worth anything to me.

Instead of taking the shuttle, a courier ship had been sent for me, taking me into the atmosphere and towards the Finalizer, the Destroyer Class ship Kylo commanded. It had a private landing bay near the top tower, where Kylo was waiting for me, his black robes flapping as we landed. I approached him silently, and he turned, knowing I would follow as he led me inside. I had never been in the Finalizer before, but it looked the same as everywhere else on Starkiller; metal panels and long hallways.

Kylo led me to an elevator. There was no button to call it, yet it opened on our arrival. We took it up, all the way to the top. I was surprised when the door opened to reveal a large open room, with windows on the far side that stretched from floor to ceiling. The walls, the same usual grey metal that was everywhere else on base, were covered in laser burns, and the only item in the room was a large metal chest against the wall by the elevator door.

On the wall to our right was a door, which Kylo lead me through. Inside was a bedroom, Kylo’s bedroom. Much smaller than I would’ve thought fitting for Commander Ren, it was sparsely decorated. A bed, larger than mine, but still not massive, was covered in dark grey blankets, and a recess in one wall was full of black clothing. A dresser held a messy pile of books, some of which looked incredibly old, and there was a small table by the bed, its surface covered in scratches. There was one last door, presumably the Refresher.

Kylo removed his helmet, placing it on the small table by the bed. He ran a hand through his hair, ruffling it up from where it clung to his scalp. I stood, waiting for him to speak.

“These are my quarters,” he finally said, gesturing around the room. “Outside is my training room, this is where I sleep.”

“Yes, Commander,” I replied politely. Kylo’s eyebrows twitched.

“I brought you here because I am ready to take you on as my apprentice,” he then said. “The Supreme Leader has given me his approval to train you as a Knight of Ren. He has also…” Kylo faltered, his jaw tensing. “He believes our… _liaisons_ should continue.”

“Is that why we’re in here?” I asked, surprised by my own lack of surprise. “I’m not here to train, I’m here to sleep with you?”

“You are here to serve the Knights of Ren,” Kylo said. “However the Supreme Leader sees fit.” His shoulders shifted back as he towered over me. “Give me your arm.”

I didn’t need to ask which arm, holding my left out, my brands covered by my usual black strapping. Kylo unwound it slowly, as if hesitant to see the seared skin underneath. His uncertainty lingered in the air between us as my brands were revealed. His gloved thumb ghosted over the marred skin, then his lightsaber was suddenly alight.

“Your past as a slave is erased,” he said, and I squeezed my eyes shut as he pressed the glowing blade against my skin. It was over in a moment, my three slave brands replaced by a thick line of seared flesh, hot and bloody and agonising. “You are now my apprentice, Evran Ren.” He powered down his saber, releasing my arm to enter the ‘fresher. He returned with a wet rag and a tube of salve. I snatched them away from him when he held them out, turning my back on him to tend to my new wound. “Evran,” he said gently. “The Supreme Leader can seem cruel, but there is wisdom in his orders. Now you are truly free from your past.”

“And bound to a new master,” I snapped at him.

“Serving does not mean enslavement,” Kylo said curtly. “Choice will always be yours.”

“And if I choose to leave? To walk away?”

“Then do so,” Kylo said. “But do it knowing what you walk away from. This is your chance to take your place in a larger world, to become a warrior of the Force.”

“Like you?”

Kylo stepped around me, taking the wet rage from me and wrapping it around my arm.

“You can play this game all you want, Evran,” he told me lowly. “But you want this. You want the power and the freedom that comes with understanding of the Force. You even want me, as a master, as a companion, as a lover. So you can waste time pretending to be angry with me, or you can put that passion to use, and show me how you really feel.” He tucked the end of the rag in, finishing my makeshift bandage.

“I feel like your whore,” I replied through gritted teeth. “Sold to the highest bidder once again.”

“The only one who sold you,” Kylo told me. “Was you.” He took my chin in his hand, the leather cool against my burning skin. “I will never force you into my bed, Evran, but nor will I let you leave when I know it’s what you truly want. You forget, my mind can hear yours as if it’s calling out to me. It’s intoxicating, to feel this… _wanted_.”

“I can hear your mind too,” I replied, pulling my chin from his grasp. “And it likes the struggle, the conflict.”

“Conflict is all I’ve ever known,” Kylo said quietly. “I’ve learned to embrace it.” He didn’t wait for me to come to him, taking me into his arms and kissing me hungrily. “Twice,” he mumbled against my lips. “I’ve only had you twice. I want you at least twice more before day’s end.”

“I didn’t take you as the type that counted,” I replied, fisting my hands in the cape that wound around his neck. “You’re the conflict, you know. Wanting to have control and wanting to lose it.”

“I’m powerful enough to have whichever I wish.” Kylo kissed me again, one hand grasping the waistband of my trousers and pulling me against him, grinding his crotch into me. He was swollen already, handling me with a new frantic kind of arousal.

“You’re really hot and heavy today,” I commented, raising my arms as Kylo pulled my uniform over my head. He said nothing, turning me sharply to unhook my bra and push it down my shoulders, before pulling my ass against him while he unbuttoned and unzipped my trousers. “Kylo?” Still silence, pushing my trousers and my underwear down to my ankles, then fumbling with his own. “Kylo?”

“What?” he demanded, grabbing my chin and tilting my head back until I was looking up at him behind me.

“What’s with the urgency?” I asked.

“I’ve been waiting days to fuck you,” he hissed in my ear. “Enduring your injury, Grant’s trial, Snoke’s approval. I’m having you now, right fucking now.” The lust in his voice caused shivers to dance along my spine, which was soon met by his hand as he bent me over the bed. I braced my hands against the mattress, Kylo’s gloves cold against my folds as he eased my pussy open. Then he was inside me in one slow thrust, stilling at the hilt to let out a long moaning sigh. I could feel his cock pulsing, his precum spreading against my walls.

I yelped when a firm hand spanked the flesh of my ass, jerking forward. My pussy clenched instinctively, enveloping Kylo’s cock and causing a surge of pleasure in us both.

“Do it again,” I whispered, my head hanging forward. My hair fell around my face as Kylo smacked me again, feeling the spasm of my pussy and the pulse of his cock. “Yes, again!” He began to move out for the next spank, then in for another. I gasped and groaned, letting Kylo push and pull my hips as he pleased, letting him fuck and spank me as he pleased.

His pace soon increased, his pelvis slapping against my ass taking over for his hand. I moaned wantonly when he pulled out, but he shoved me forward onto the bed.

“Knees,” he commanded in a growl, pushing me into position. He forced my head down into the mattress, and I braced myself on my forearms, resting my forehead against them. I felt the bed dip as Kylo knelt behind me, lining me back up for a fresh bout of thrusting. With my ass high in the air, he pounded into me again, his hands now free of his gloves as he grasped my hips.

His groans came out in sharp grunts, as if he was holding his breath. He spanked me again with his right hand, his left gathering my hair and pulling, tipping my head up as he leaned over me. With my body angled down and my neck arched back, I struggled to breathe, but as I wheezed with each gasp, I felt Kylo’s arousal spike, stabbing at my mind with hot flashes of pleasure. When my vision began to blur, he released my hair, and I took in deep snatches of air. I heard myself chuckle, heat rushing to my cheeks.

“You’re so sweet,” I taunted him, smirking over my shoulder at him. The look he gave me was one of pure want. He pushed my head down again, rising up higher on his knees to increase the power of his pounding cock. He was no longer behind me so much as above me, bearing down on me with intense pressure. I snaked one arm beneath my stomach, down to my clit, squeezing it harshly between my thumb and forefinger. The ripples of pleasure pulled my pussy into a sudden, albeit short, spasming orgasm, and I stopped breathing, my mouth gaping uselessly as I came in frozen silence.

Then Kylo wrenched my hand away, pinning it to my side, his thrusts never ceasing as he approached his own climax. He yanked my body upright as he came, my back pressed against his chest, his right arm crossed over my chest, pawing at my left breast, while the nails of his left hand dug into my side. His hips jutted forward in a stuttering final thrust, and his teeth bore down on my newly-scarred shoulder. I groaned as he did, reaching up to hold his head against me, my fingers tangling in his hair. His bite turned to a kiss, nudging my head into baring my neck to him, his lips sucking their way up to my jaw, which he took in his hand, turning me to find my lips.

“Once more,” he murmured.

“Hmmm?” My mind was a mess of sensations.

“At least once more.” He lowered us to the bed, laying me on my stomach as he pulled out of my pussy slowly. My trousers were still wrapped around my ankles, and Kylo removed my boots, allowing me to kick off my remaining clothes. I turned onto my side, watching as he finally undressed. He was covered in sweat, unwinding and unwrapping each layer patiently.

First came the hooded cape, a piece of torn black material that he folded carefully and placed upon the dresser. Then the belt, his thick leather belt that held his long coat closed. He wrapped the belt up in a tight coil, placing it on top of the cape. The coat came next. He crossed the room to the alcove as he rolled his shoulders back, allowing the sleeveless coat to fall down to his elbows. He hung it up with the rest of the black garments.

He wore a thick black tunic underneath, with long ribbed sleeves. This he simply peeled off then tossed aside, leaving him in a black vest, which was also removed and cast aside. He sat on the edge of the bed, unbuckling his boots and setting them together neatly. I curled up around him as he did so, tracing my fingers over a few of his battle scars, but he shook my touch away, standing as he pulled down his trousers and black boxer shorts. They too ended up the pile with his tunic and vest, followed by a scrunched up pair of black socks.

“You really like black, huh?” I joked, rolling over to the other side of the bed as he crossed the room again, his body naked at last.

“Black is professional,” he replied dismissively. “And intimidating.”

“Please,” I chuckled. “You could wear neon yellow and look formally terrifying.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.” His voice lacked emotion, suggesting that he wasn’t really listening. I didn’t mind though, I enjoyed watching him bend over to scoop up his discarded gloves, placing them beside his belt atop the cape. He then kicked my own discarded clothing into the dirty pile with his on his way into the ‘fresher.

He wasn’t gone long, returning with a damp towel in one hand and a dry one in the other.

“Hmmm?” I asked as he gestured at me.

“Turn over, on your back.” I did so, feeling a fresh rush of arousal as he slowly approached. “Open your legs.” The damp towel was cold against my hot flesh, but it felt good as Kylo cleaned my pussy with gentle strokes, patting me dry when he was done. I whined when I realised he was finished, tossing both towels in the growing pile of dirty laundry, but when he returned to the bed, he brought his mouth to my mound. “Mmmm,” I moaned softly, Kylo’s tongue tracing up my slit with one long lick. “Kylo…” I wound the fingers of one hand in his hair, my other encircling my nipple, teasing it without touching the hardening tip. “Mmmm, Kylo!” I gasped, my back arching when he sucked my clit into his mouth, my fingers pinching at one nipple then the other, rolling and pulling them.

He didn’t bring me to orgasm, his actions building a slow pleasure inside me without climbing too high. I could feel his intentions clearly though; he was preparing me for round two, pleasuring me while his cock recovered. I was struck by the almost-sweetness of it, keeping me alight while he had to wait until he was ready. I promised myself I would return the favour when I got the chance.

It didn’t take long for his cock to swell once again. He drew away from me, kneeling up on the bed, pumping himself with one hand, massaging his balls with the other. It was incredibly erotic, lying there, watching him loom over me while he pleasured himself. I bit down on my lower lip, gazing hungrily at his cock as the first few beads of precum emerged from the tip.

“Can I…” I trailed off, my tongue wetting my lips.

“No.” Kylo beckoned me towards him regardless, and I took his cock in my hand, thumbing the head in teasing circles.

“Why not?” I squeezed his cock as I spoke.

“Ride me,” he replied, dodging the question with his usual ease. “Like the first time.” The request was so innocent somehow. I nodded, turning with him as he lay down. I straddled him, rolling my shoulders back and stretching out. His cock slid inside me, my pussy already flooded with lubrication and saliva. I moaned, long and low, loving the sensation of that first penetration. I moved my hips in a small circle, revelling in the feeling of him inside me, pressing against every inch of my pussy walls.

“Ahhh,” I sighed, tilting my head back. I began to rise and fall on his cock, slowly and forcefully. Kylo sighed beneath me, his eyes fluttering closed, pleasure radiating from him in hot waves. I took his hands in mine, pulling them up to my breasts, wordlessly urging him to stimulate my nipples. He did so perfectly, teasing them with his thumbs, coaxing each tip into hard nubs then pinching them softly before applying more pressure. I moaned my approval, my hips moving forward and back, squeezing his hands as they played with my breasts.

I was unaware of the passing of time, our bodies moving together in complete synchronization. Other than moans and gasps of pleasure, no words were exchanged. No words were needed. If I wanted Kylo to grasp my hips, he did so, his fingers digging into my skin as he manipulated my movements. If Kylo wanted to me to lean down and bite his neck, I did so, puckering my lips as I sucked and soothed each nip. Sensations passed between us, an unbroken cycle of passion and desire. I felt the pull of the Force, urging my body to flatten against his.

“You’re close,” Kylo murmured to me as I lowered myself over him, bracing my body on my hands, either side of his head.

“Yes,” I whispered. “So are you.”

“I am.” Kylo’s hips bucked under me, taking over as I rested, draped over his chest. I moaned as he held my hips in place, thrusting up into me with measured strokes.

“Oh, Kylo…” I gripped his shoulders tight, my orgasm not far off. “Yes…keep going…keep goin-Kylo!” I groaned, my entire body tightening as my pussy clamped down on his cock. “Mmm, fuck…Kylo…” He came moments later, his back arching underneath me, lifting us both from the mattress.

“Fuck…” He slumped back down, his breaths coming in heavy pants. “Evran…” His hands trailed up my back.

“That was…great,” I mumbled, my eyes closing as all my energy dissolved away. “Second orgasms are always so much better…I should make sure to cum twice from now on.”

“Hmmm.” Kylo wasn’t listening again. I could feel his mind close off once again, his passions and desires sated. He shifted underneath me, intending for me to allow him up, but I was too comfortable to move. “Evran.” His voice held warning, but I ignored it.

“Give me a minute,” I said, yawning. “Maybe five…”

“We have work to do,” Kylo told me firmly, seizing me by the waist and lifting me from him. He shoved me to the side, where I sank down on the bed, curling up on my side. “Get dressed.”

“Right now?” I glared at him through my tiredness. He picked up the wet towel from before, cleaning himself off, then tossed it at me.

“Clean up, get dressed.”

“Fine…” I forced myself to sit up, running the wet towel between my legs and gathering the mess of cum and sweat and wiping it away. Kylo redressed in clean underwear and trousers while I rummaged in the dirty pile.

“Here,” he said, pulling open the bottom drawer in his dresser. Standard First Order clothing in my size lay within, including underwear, all black. “Wear loose fitting trousers,” Kylo then told me, gesturing at one side of the drawer.

“Okay…” We got dressed, each wearing black trousers and a black vest. There was something alluring about our matching outfits, marking me as his, marking him as mine. I looked down at the make-shift bandage covering my new brand, the thick line of a lightsaber, and felt a surge of fire. I would be a Knight of Ren: powerful, feared, and maybe even hated. I couldn’t wait.

Kylo led me back into the previous room, and my training as his Apprentice began.

 

 

 


	4. Intermission - Training Log

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Evran's training commences.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter here, the Intermission I mentioned last time. Also included is a quick sketch I did of Evran in her Knight of Ren outfit, just for funsies. Enjoy!

Personal Log of Commander Kylo Ren

Regarding the training of new Apprentice Evran Ren.

**Age** – 24               **Homeworld** – Unknown                               **Species** – Human   
**Family** – Mother, deceased; Father, unknown, believed to be a soldier   
**Previous Occupation** – Programmer and Systems Analyst for Theta Squad, First Order   
**Previous Residence** – Starkiller Base   
**Additional Information** – Former Slave. Sold information on the Resistance to the First Order. Graduate of First Order Academy.

Permission granted by Supreme Leader Snoke to begin initiation as an Apprentice to myself, Kylo Ren, Commander of the Knights of Ren. Force Sensitivity detected and confirmed.

**Current Assessment** – A highly capable woman in all observed situations, Evran possesses the required temperament for a Knight of Ren. However, she currently lacks a killing instinct. Her abilities with the Force are limited to basic Telekinesis, able to manipulate small objects, and very faint Affect Mind, only able to press vague emotions against the outside of another’s consciousness. With provocation, her passionate nature can be brought to the surface, yet she fights losing control. Once control is lost, she is wild and single-minded, in both destructive and intimate aspects. This is her strongest asset.

**Interpersonal Relationship** – Supreme Leader Snoke has expressed his approval in continued sexual liaisons between Apprentice Evran Ren and myself, her assigned Master. Such liaisons are to be used both as a way of emotional manipulation and as a test of sentiment. As long as sentimental attachment does not become an issue, sexual liaisons will continue to be utilised to strengthen the Apprentice’s dependence on her Master.

**Training Log**

**Training Log – Month One**

Evran’s training began with combat scenarios. Due to her previous training during her time in the Academy, she is efficient at diffusing standard assaults. As Academy training focuses on defensive measures, Evran lacked offensive instincts. This was drilled out of her. She now knows to go for the kill. The lives she took on Utapau do not appear to affect her mental state, but I can sense her reluctance to kill again. This will be our next goal.

**Training Log – Month Two**

Dubbed ‘cruelty training’, I took Evran to a cantina known for its sympathy towards the Resistance. Gathering several supporters together, Evran was instructed to kill each of them. Her hesitation was clear, faltering each time someone pled for their life. By the end of the exercise, Evran’s mental state had deteriorated profusely. Though her battle skills grow strong, she is not yet a killer. This must change.

**Training Log – Month Three**

Evran’s Force abilities have increased considerably. She is now able to manipulate objects much larger than herself. Her Affect Mind skills have grown to the point where she is able to coax others into simple actions with ease, though she cannot yet perform the ‘mind trick’ where the target is convinced of an untruth. She is able to read emotions clearly, but cannot yet close her own mind to probing. This is especially true after sexual release.

**Training Log – Month Four**

With Supreme Leader’s permission, Evran and I have begun lightsaber training. Though few members of the Knights of Ren possess such a weapon, Evran’s natural affinity with Kyber Crystals make her the perfect candidate to one day build a lightsaber of her own. I still have the Crystal I took from Utapau, though she is not yet ready to dominate it to her will. Using my old training sabers, Evran’s capability in handling the weapon proves her a warrior of the Force. She is excellent when practicing blind against training remotes, and can handle up to three before showing signs of struggle.

**Training Log – Month Five**

Evran is now able to kill without hesitation. However, she often needs sexual release afterwards, otherwise she becomes lost in her newfound destructive nature. I, too, am beginning to require sexual release more often, my body growing used to our frequent liaisons. It is possible that sentiment may become an issue, as I am experiencing possessive instincts when Evran speaks of previous sexual partners.

**Training Log – Month Six**

Evran is ready to construct a lightsaber of her own. She is overjoyed by this. She cannot match me in battle, but neither is she quick to fall. I have given her the Kyber Crystal salvaged from Utapau. Time will tell if she possesses the strength of mind to dominate it. She has mastered Mind Affect in inferior beings, able to use the ‘mind trick’ to manipulate her target without difficulty. Though she cannot fully pass through my mental defences, she can often detect buried emotions, and can now build barriers within her own mind, keeping my probing at bay for sustained periods of time.

**Training Log – Month Six – Updated**

Evran’s lightsaber has been completed. It follows the pattern of a standard first lightsaber, though her knowledge as an engineer as allowed her to create something of a dual blade. Though only one side of the hilt can be lit at once, it can change instantly, giving her advantages in several combat scenarios. One such scenario, the one she used when debuting the weapon to me, is during a pincer-attack. She can attack the enemy in front and the enemy behind without having to turn and strike, simply thrusting forward with the front blade lit, then thrusting behind her with the rear blade lit. It was magnificent to behold. She defeated a field of foes with ease. The following sexual encounter between us was incredibly powerful.

**Training Log – Month Seven**

We have been working on ‘Dark’ techniques. Evran is able to Choke a target from close proximity, but struggles over larger distances. Though I personally use this technique as a form of intimidation, not execution, it is paramount that Evran be able to crush her target’s entire neck if need be. We will continue until she is fully capable.

**Training Log – Month Eight**

Evran can now use the Choke will incredible precision. The secret to completing her training lay in our sexual liaisons, Evran eager to apply what she had learned in a form of erotic asphyxiation. She is able to control her grip to allow her target a slight breath when necessary, heightening orgasmic sensations. Upon discovery of such things, Evran and I have since applied other aspects of her training into our liaisons. It is a unique and powerful way of strengthening her command of the Force, and I too have found an increase in my own capabilities with each ability. Evran’s passion and power grows every day. She will soon be ready to undertake important missions by my side. It is time the galaxy learned to fear the name Evran Ren.

**Training Log – Month Ten**

Supreme Leader Snoke has met with Evran to evaluate her training. He is pleased with her strength and control, more so with her furious passion and intelligence. She is to undertake a trial; success will mark her as a full-fledged Knight of Ren. She will not fail.

I am proud of how far she has come, and glad to know that I have not failed as her Master. Evran has been my first real Apprentice, and the first Force-user I have taught since my time with the new Jedi. She lacks the weakness and cowardice of the Jedi. She trusts in her instincts and her emotions. She allows herself to feel and react. She is unbound and fierce.

She is my greatest accomplishment.

**Training Log – Month Ten Updated**

Evran’s training is complete; she is no longer my Apprentice.

The conflict I feel regarding this suggests sentimental attachment.

Our sexual liaisons can no longer continue.

**End of Log**

****


	5. Emergency Reconnaissance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Evran undertakes her trial, but it's Kylo who is tested.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this chapter assuages the fears a few of you had following the end of the previous update, Intermission. As always, mega thanks to everyone who reads and comments and everything! Enjoy! XxX

The hologram of Supreme Leader Snoke towered over me as I dropped to one knee, my head bowed in reverence. Despite the vast distance that separated us, I could clearly feel him searching my mind, sifting through my memories of the past year, training under Commander Ren. He paused at each milestone passed, deciding for himself which were truly achievements, and ripples of displeasure echoed through me whenever he chose to examine my more private moments.

Tears I shed when I first killed, turning into remorse, then indifference as I learned the real value of a life: nothing.

Joy at the creation of my lightsaber; the pride and elation when Kylo praised its versatility.

The growing lust and passion between my master and myself; nights and days where we were almost one being, alight and alive.

Snoke observed all of these, before finally withdrawing.

“You have done well in such a short time,” he crowed, his voice the deepest of rumbles. “There is room for improvement, but you are ready to be tested.”

“You honour me, Supreme Leader,” I replied, raising my head to look up at his sizable form. Through the visor of my mask, he looked more menacing than ever, the red tint making him appear smeared with blood.

“The trial you will undertake will be unlike any mission you have yet experienced,” Snoke went on, each word slow and measured. “You will be alone, unsupervised and unrestricted. All choices will be yours to make; you will receive no instruction and no guidance.” He paused there, waiting for me to respond.

“I will not fail, no matter the circumstance,” I said.

“Indeed,” Snoke agreed, leaning forward in his seat. The hologram flickered slightly. “Failure is not an option, Lady Ren.”

“It never is.”

“No.” Snoke chuckled quietly, reclining back again. “No, it is not.” He gestured for me to stand. “You will travel to the Mid Rim, to Polaris Station. There you will do what needs be done.”

“Yes, Supreme Leader.” I bowed my head again.

“Go.” With a flick of his fingers, I was dismissed, and the holo dispersed into static and then nothing.

As soon as I exited the Communication Chamber, I felt Kylo beckon me. He was on the observation deck, not far from my current position. I entered the room, unsurprised to find him alone. He stared out at the stars, his hands behind his back.

“Tell me,” he said, without turning.

“Polaris Station in the Mid Rim,” I replied, joining him by the massive window. “That’s all I was told.”

“That will be all you’ll need,” Kylo answered. His head tilted towards me, his gaze obscured by his mask. “I cannot help you.”

“I don’t need you to,” I said confidently. “Whatever I’m to do, I’ll do. First thing to do is get there.”

“There is no telling how long this mission will take,” Kylo told me. “It may be some time before you are able to return.”

“I’m prepared for that,” I assured him. My fingers brushed against the lightsaber on my hip, feeling the soft thrum of the Kyber inside. In an instant, its blade was lit, clashing against Kylo’s as he struck at me. “I’m prepared for anything, Master,” I said over the buzz of our weapons. I pushed against his blade, using the momentum to spring back as he struck again.

“Overconfidence is the key to failure,” Kylo stated, spinning his saber in his hand.

“As is no confidence at all,” I replied, mimicking his actions with my own weapon. He couldn’t see my smirk through my mask, but I was sure he could feel it, as I felt his. “You didn’t bring me here to test me, did you, Master?”

Kylo didn’t reply, lunging forward, swinging his blade in a horizontal arc. I angled my lightsaber to catch the blow, letting it roll off my blade as I dipped underneath and into Kylo’s other arm. He wrapped it around my waist, pulling me into his body. I tucked my lightsaber under my arm, cancelling the front blade to activate the rear blade. Kylo released me, jumping back just in time to avoid being impaled.

I laughed, spinning the hilt over and under my hand, switching between both blades in a show of flickering red light. Kylo deactivated his lightsaber, returning it to his belt, and removed his helmet, placing it on the floor.

“Game over?” I asked teasingly, my moves growing flashier as I spun my lightsaber over my head and behind my back.

“Come here.” Kylo’s voice was low and heated, just the way I liked it, his eyes dark and his jaw tense. This was my favourite kind of Kylo; just on the edge of falling into an ocean of lust.

I powered down my saber as I approached, clipping it back onto my waistband. As soon as I was in reach, Kylo took my mask in his hands, his fingers reaching around the back to hit the button that released it. My cheeks were flushed with passion as he slowly lifted my mask from my face, putting it to the ground with less care than he did his own.

“Hi,” I said, grinning at him. He said nothing, pushing his hands through my hair, fluffing it up from where it stuck to my scalp. I raised my eyebrows, waiting for him to speak.

“I hate the feeling of helmet-hair,” he finally said, causing me to splutter with laughter. “What?”

“Nothing, just…not what I was expecting you to say,” I replied, composing myself under his displeased gaze.

“Oh? What were you expecting then?” he asked, narrowing his eyes.

“Something more like…” I ran my tongue over my lower lip as I snuck inside his mind. “You want me here, now, because who knows how long it’ll be before we can fuck again.”

“You’re getting better at that,” Kylo said, as I felt myself be pushed from his thoughts. “My turn.” He was inside my mind in an instant, turning over the wants and desires I let drift to the forefront. A flicker of a smirk appeared at the corner of his mouth, and I pushed more decadence towards him, my hands rising to his hips, then trailing down to his crotch.

“What do you think?” I whispered, palming the growing bulge beneath layers of clothing. Kylo’s eyes fell closed, and his presence in my mind grew stronger. He was no longer just watching, he was searching, seeking out memories of previous encounters, basking in them as I continued to massage him. Some memories he skimmed past, others he lingered on, but amidst the sensations I couldn’t tell which ones. “Kylo?” I asked softly, feeling a sudden hesitation in him, the ensuing cold shiver feeling like thermal shock amongst the heat of our bodies.

“Shhh,” he urged me, pressing his forehead against mine, his thumbs on my temples as he continued his search. I opened myself, eager to help him find whatever he was looking for. I ceased my fondling, my hands gripping the front of his coat, waiting for whatever he was seeking to be discovered. “Where are you?” he asked. I knew the question wasn’t meant for me.

Finally, we arrived at a memory of a few months prior, and I felt Kylo relax, around me and inside me. We were aboard the Infiltrator, in the cockpit, in the pilot’s seat, Kylo’s teeth nipping my collarbone as I rode up and down his cock, my entire body bare to the stars.

“Yes,” Kylo murmured now, kissing me gently. “That’s the one.” I relived it with him as he undressed me, each layer of clothing tossed aside carelessly. Kylo took a particular pleasure in fucking me fully dressed, while I was completely naked, especially when we were in places such as the observation deck. He didn’t enjoy the thrill of someone catching him undressed, but he loved the possibility of someone seeing me, fully unclothed and fully submitting to him. I was more than happy to oblige.

“Kylo,” I sighed, pressing sloppy kisses to his cheek and jawbone as he slid his tongue over my neck. “Mmmm, take me…please…” Kylo’s gloved hands, cold around my asscheeks, were much warmer than the glass I was suddenly pressed against. I gasped, my back instinctively arching away, my legs wrapped around Kylo’s waist, but he just pushed me harder against it, one hand fumbling between us to free his cock.

As he entered my pussy, he recalled the Infiltrator’s orgasm in my mind, and I nearly came from the dual sensations of first penetration physically and the final thrust mentally. I gasped and stuttered, my body lost, unsure of which was real, my pussy clenching tightly.

“Fuck, Kylo!” I yelped as he thrust harshly, my ass smacking against the glass window behind me. In my mind I was still riding him, my mouth agape as my orgasm rocking me, and I felt his cock surge inside me as he found his own climax. This time Kylo was the one whose body couldn’t quite keep up, his hips stilling then spasming, cumming and not at the same time.

“Evran,” he murmured, his hands gripping my hips in both the present and the past. I could hear my flesh slapping against the window, along with the chair squeaking, and I grew lightheaded. “Stay with me, Evran,” Kylo commanded me, one hand leaving my hip to take my chin.

“I can’t,” I whispered, moaning. “It’s, it’s too much.” Kylo kissed me frantically, his lips sucking and pulling at mine. The orgasm was still playing in my mind, over and over, me cumming around Kylo, Kylo cumming inside me, then me cumming around him again. My head went from light to heavy, falling against Kylo’s shoulder as he thrust ceaselessly.

By the time I came in reality, I was barely aware of it, my entire being awash with oversensitivity. My scream was silent, my head thrown back, cracking against the glass. Kylo came as I did, one hand grasping beneath my thigh, the other tangled in my hair. His orgasm wasn’t much louder than mine, the memory of our previous forms loud and uninhibited, while he simply whispered my name and went slack.

I don’t know if I blacked out, but I was certainly close, my body limp as Kylo gently lowered me to the floor, throwing his cape down underneath me. I sighed, sated and exhausted, glad to feel Kylo finally withdraw from my mind. I curled up on my side, coldness causing my skin to prickle. Kylo sat down beside me, his legs crossed in front of him.

I was just barely aware of him creeping into my mind again, but he wasn’t looking to the past, he was exploring the now. He thumbed through my emotions with a gentleness he often lacked, as if afraid to touch them. As life returned to me, he slipped away, leaving me to wonder if he had intended me to be ignorant of his presence.

“Cold,” I murmured, rubbing at my upper arms. Kylo summoned my cape to him, and draped it over me. It wasn’t much better, but still better than nothing, and I pulled it closer around me as I sat up. As was often the case recently, Kylo’s mind was completely shielded from me post-coitus, his face a similar mask of apathy. “You know,” I said, leaning against him. “I remember back when, after sex, I was thanked profusely and repeatedly.” I stumbled over as Kylo rose to his feet. “But, whatever…”

“A ship has been prepared for you,” Kylo told me, collecting my clothing in a bundle and bringing them to me, a clear hint that it was time for me to go.

“What kind?” I asked, pulling on my underwear and socks.

“Same as the Infiltrator,” Kylo replied, scooping his cape up as I stood, now half-dressed. “You are free to name it; it will be yours following the completion of your trial.”

“Really?” That was exciting. I finished getting dressed, pondering possible names. “Any suggestions?” I asked Kylo, fully dressed, reaching for my helmet.

“No.” Kylo had already re-equipped his own helmet, his voice coming through the mask’s filter in his usual lilt. “But nothing inappropriate.”

“Like ‘The Pleasure Barge’?” I joked. Kylo clearly wasn’t in the mood for such things, not bothering the respond. “Never mind,” I muttered, tucking my hair back to put my helmet on. “I guess it should be something intimidating,” I then said, my own voice now filtered.

“Name it as you will,” Kylo said. “I will see you when you return.” I sighed, watching Kylo stride away, my lover abruptly becoming my master again.

“Yes, Master,” I replied. Kylo paused at the door.

“I know you will do well, Evran,” he said over his shoulder. “I have complete faith in you.”

“Thank you, Master.” I couldn’t help the smile on my face, and as he exited the room, I felt Kylo smile too.

*****

Polaris Station was a new-ish space station, only established within the last ten years as a popular trading post for Mid Rim business. It was also gaining a reputation as a haven for political activists, which would be the first thing I looked in to. I changed out of my Knight uniform and into something less conspicuous, tucking my lightsaber under the folds of my coat.

With my new ship docked in one of the smaller ports under an alias, I began my exploration of the station, heading first for the nearest cantina. Polaris was full of bustling crowds and stores, and I allowed myself to touch upon each mind that I passed, seeking anything that may point towards my mission. The inhabitants’ thoughts ranged from the mundane to the murderous, but I heard nothing that warranted my attention.

The cantina was fairly standard for the Mid Rim; booths filled with hushed conversation and darting eyes, a live band playing something jaunty and sultry, and a stand-up bar covered in stains and spills. I approached the bar, casting my mind out once again. I caught snatches of conversations, whispered names and sealed deals.

“What’ll it be?” The bartender was a female Togruta who looked me up and down with a suspicious eye. Her mind was focused and alert, correctly assessing me as a threat, and I couldn’t help but be impressed with how quickly she analysed me.

“Ebla, if you have it,” I replied.

“And if I don’t?”

“Then whatever beer you recommend.” I ignored her challenging glare, scanning the room. I was already certain I wouldn’t find what I needed here, but there was no harm in checking twice.

“Don’t make trouble in my bar,” the bartender said, placing a bottle of Ebla beer in front of me.

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” I replied. I turned my back to the bar, leaning against the counter with my elbows, both my mind and my eyes taking in the crowd.

A young woman had just left her husband, and was bartering passage to any core world. A pair of smugglers had recently lost a shipment of cargo and were now working it off making spice runs. A newly married couple were refuelling on their way to their honeymoon destination. A bounty hunter was stalking his target, waiting to get him alone.

Nothing stood out to me, so I finished my drink and left, leaving a few credit chips to cover the cost. I decided to check out the main space port, following the flow of pedestrians outside. The main port was much larger than the one I had docked at, and the amount of people coming and going was vast. I sat down at one of the shuttle stops and began to search the crowd.

The first thing I discovered was that the Resistance was on a lot of minds in this part of Polaris. I found an older male thinking very heavily about First Order retaliation, worried about being caught in the crossfire. Another male was feeling more reckless, his mind an arrogant swirl of ‘let them come; I’ll show them!’ A young pair of siblings each wondered if they’d have to live with their grandparents if their father didn’t return from war.

Finally, my mind settled on a female Mandalorian who was full of fear and regret. ‘ _This was a bad idea_ ,’ she thought over and over. ‘ _We should never have gotten involved_.’ Intrigued, I rose to my feet and sought her out.

She stood by the landing ramp of a standard courier ship, her weight shifting from one foot to the other as she waited for someone. A plan formed quickly in my mind, and I approached her.

“Excuse me?” I asked, making my voice small and nervous.

“Y-yes?” She started at the sound of my voice, her eyes darting between me and somewhere over my shoulder.

“Are you taking passengers?” I asked, nodding at the courier. “I need to get off-world urgently!”

“Oh, um, I don’t…” She glanced over her shoulder, up the ramp. “I don’t know if we have room, I’m sorry.”

“Can I speak to the pilot?”

“Um…” More glances, more shifting from foot to foot. “I’m sorry, I really don’t think we have any room.”

“I’m sure you do.” I concentrated on the sentence, pushing it into her mind.

“I’m sure we do.” She stopped the shifting and the glancing, her body visibly relaxing as I coaxed her mind into submission. It was easy, like pulling on a loose string. “Yeah, we do, of course we do. There’s only one other passenger.” I felt a jolt of panic in her mind at those words, but I quickly tamped it down.

“Thank you very much.” I pressed a few credit chips into her hands as I passed, heading up the ramp and into the ship.

Once on board, it was clear that this was not your typical transport. The ship’s hull was reinforced, with military equipment scattered about the passenger hold. Whoever they were expecting, they were expecting trouble along with them. I cast my mind out over the rest of the ship, but there was no one else aboard. I took the opportunity to check the cockpit, running through the ship’s NavCom for their previous locations.

“Corellia,” I murmured, chewing on my lower lip. “Hosnian Prime. Coruscant. All core worlds…what’re you doing out here then?”

From outside, I heard hushed voices, one growing loud and angry. I slipped back down to the passenger hold, reclining in my seat as if I had been there for some time. An older Mandalorian man stormed into the hold a moment later, eyes narrowed towards me.

“I don’t care what you paid my daughter,” he snapped at me, one finger held out threateningly. “But you’re getting off. Now!”

“Hey, it’s fine,” I said, holding my hands up in surrender. I examined his mind, finding it a trickier target than the young girl. “What’s the problem exactly?” I asked, watching closely as his mind flickered, waiting for an opening.

“We’re carrying a private passenger,” the man told me curtly. “One who detests company.”

“I’m sure they wouldn’t mind me,” I tried. “I’ll be very quiet.” It didn’t take.

“Not a chance,” he said. “I’ll return your money, just get off my ship.”

“But your daughter told me you had room,” I insisted, feeling his mind react to the mention of his daughter. “She seemed afraid,” I went on, seeing my opening. “Is your passenger dangerous? I can protect you; I’m trained for combat.” I pushed harder, his mind beginning to accept the notion of a protector. “You need my protection, don’t you?”

“I…yes, I do.” His mind finally cowed to mine, almost eager in its desire of a guardian. “We need your protection.”

“That’s why I’m here.” With his mind already accepting me once, it was no trouble to push this belief into it.

“Yes, that’s why you’re here.” He lowered his finger, bowing his head to me. “Thank you for your service.”

“You’re welcome,” I replied, smiling. “Glad to be aboard.”

“We’ll be departing shortly,” he said. “As soon as our passenger arrives.”

“Of course,” I said. “Can I just ask: where are we headed?”

“Lothal.”

I nodded, and he left the hold.

“Lothal…” I murmured. Famous for rebelling against the Empire, far from core worlds, there was one likely reason their passenger was heading there: they didn’t want to be found by First Order soldiers. Which meant a Resistance supporter, but one who expected to become a target. Someone important enough to be wanted, but not essential enough to be needed during the war.

A traitor.

I closed my eyes, pulling my focus to a central point, and waited for the passenger to board. I heard him before I saw him, an anxious insistence of secrecy. He balked when he saw me sitting there, but I just smiled and waved.

“She’s for protection,” the man from earlier assured him. “You said you’re a wanted man, after all.”

“B-b-but you never mentioned her before!”

“Let me put your mind at ease, sir,” I said, rising from my seat to bow lowly. “I have served the Resistance since I was a child, training in combat for missions such as this; the accompaniment of important figures to safe havens.”

“B-but I-”

“My protection comes at no extra charge to you, I promise,” I went on. “I do this as a point of principle, not as a career. I take pride in guarding brave individuals such as yourself.”

“Well, I suppose…” The man, a middle-aged human, fat and balding, wiped at the sweat on his forehead. “I suppose I can’t argue against extra protection, but my contact assured me this ship and its crew was capable enough.”

“Like you said, it’s ‘extra’ protection,” I said. “We need to get you safely to Lothal, sir, before the First Order knows you’re here. Space Stations are known for their informants, after all.”

“Yes, yes, as you say.” Somewhat appeased, the man sat down a few seats away from me. “Please, let us depart as soon as possible.”

“At once, sir.” The Mandalorian bowed lowly, before leaving for the cockpit. Two more Mandalorians entered the passenger hold, each carrying a heavy blaster, and stood on either side of the door.

We lifted off a few minutes later, heading into the atmosphere on Sublights. I waited until we were a good distance from the planet’s surface before I began to probe at the two Mandalorian guards’ minds. Both were quiet and closed off, but neither seemed much of a threat to me physically. I decided to ignore them for now.

I turned my attention to the passenger, entering his mind with ease. He was a mess of anxious thoughts and urges, a lurking paranoia causing his eyes to dart around the hold ceaselessly. I scanned his recent memory for clues as to his identity, discovering that he was a First Order defector. His position had been high, working at Starkiller base until recently. He had taken a leave of absence following an illness, and never returned.

I surmised rather quickly that working at Starkiller meant he knew what the base was on its way to becoming; information he could indeed barter with to get into the Resistance’s good graces. The most crucial piece of information, however, was that he was yet to meet with them. The Resistance still had no idea about the weapon.

An hour into our journey, I was ready to act.

“Just stretching my legs,” I said as I stood, the Mandalorian guards tensing at my sudden movement. “I need to have a word with the pilot anyway.” Their unease followed me from the room, but they seemed to be the brawn-over-brains type, letting me leave without a word.

I passed the young girl on my way to the cockpit, sitting cross-legged on the floor as she fiddled with a holopad.

“Come with me,” I commanded her. She obeyed instantly, dropping the holopad.

The cockpit was sealed, much like I had expected it would be, but the girl tapped in the code without needing to be asked, and the door slid open. Her father sat at the console.

“What’re you doing up here?” he demanded.

“Drop out of lightspeed,” I replied. His face twitched slightly, but his hands pressed the right keys, and we slowed down to Sublights. “Disconnect the Comms.” Another tap at the console. “Tell me the name of your contact on Polaris and on Lothal.”

“Denna Robano,” he said. “Teth Hanlin.”

“Thank you.” My lightsaber was alight and thrust through his heart before he had time to panic.

“Father!” The young girl shrieked behind me. I flicked my rear blade on, impaling her through the chest. She crumpled to the ground, dead. I seized the newly deceased pilot by the shoulder, yanking him out of the seat and casting him aside. He fell by his daughter, his eyes wide and unseeing.

Turning the ship around was simple, but one of the guards had decided to check out the commotion before I was done inputting the new destination.

“Freeze!” he bellowed at me. I couldn’t help but roll my eyes at the cliché statement, ignoring his command to continue reprogramming the NavCom. “I said, freeze!”

“I know, I heard you,” I drawled. His blaster was then held to my temple, and I could feel his finger threatening to tighten around the trigger. I finished plotting our course, and turned in the seat slowly, my hands in the air. Stupidly enough, the guard withdrew his blaster, and I thrust my hand out, pulling the muscles of his windpipe together.

“Wh—urgh…” He clawed at his throat, dropping the blaster altogether. It didn’t take long for his heart to run out of oxygen, and he went limp in my telekinetic grasp. I let him fall to the floor, my pair of bodies now becoming a pile.

“Idiot,” I muttered, rising to my feet and stepping over the dead Mandalorians.

Back in the passenger hold, my target was hunkered down behind the first row of seats, with the other guard standing before him, blaster drawn. He fired off a shot as soon as he saw me, but I deflected with my lightsaber without even having to think. I continued to approach him, deflecting each blast as he continued shooting, until I was close enough to slice his blaster in half. His head went rolling across the floor less than a moment later.

“P-please, I-I’ll tell you anything!” My target shook violently as I leaned over him.

“Okay.” I powered down my weapon, returning it to my belt. “Start with your name.”

“K-Kingsley Wells,” he stammered out, his eyes squeezed shut.

“You worked on Starkiller, correct?” I asked. He nodded frantically. “Speak, Kingsley Wells!”

“Y-yes, yes, I d-did,” he said. “Wor-worked on Starkiller, I mean.”

“And you had a leave of absence?”

“Y-yes.”

“And at what point during this absence did you decide to turn traitor?” I leaned against the back of the seats behind me, nudging Wells with my boot. “Look at me, traitor!” He forced himself to look up at me, his eyes brimming with frightened tears.

“I-I never, I would n-never be-betray-”

“Don’t lie to me, Kingsley Wells,” I said coldly.

“P-please, I j-just wanted-”

“What you wanted wasn’t question, was it?” Well said nothing. “Was it, Kingsley?”

“No! No, no, no, I’m sorry!”

“What was the question?” I asked him. “Do you remember?”

“Wh-when did I…t-turn traitor,” he answered. I raised my eyebrows. “P-please, please, understand-”

“You’re really testing my patience here, you know that?” I said, backhanding him across the face.

“P-please!” Both blood and tears were openly spilling down his face now.

“Answer the question!” I demanded, letting my anger rise. I felt the Force crackle and gather around me.

“B-before!” he finally answered. “Before; I-I faked the illness. I couldn’t be a part of-of-of that monstrosity.”

“And you planned to inform the Resistance of the weapon.” It wasn’t a question. “Oh, Kingsley Wells, that’s just unforgivable.”

“Please!” he begged, rising onto his knees to grasp at the end of my tunic. “Please, I won’t tell anyone, please!” I shoved him away from me, disgusted.

“You’re a pathetic coward,” I sneered at him. “I’ve killed spies and rebels and informants before, plenty of them, but none were so weak that they pleaded for their lives! You don’t even deserve the mercy of death.”

“Th-thank you, thank you.” More tears, hands clasped together towards me.

“I’m afraid you misunderstand me,” I said, kneeling down to look him straight in the eye. I grasped his chin as he tried to turn away, forcing him to look at me. “You don’t deserve the mercy of death, but you still deserve to die.”

“No! Please!” He grabbed my wrist. “Please, wait!”

“You have more information for me?” I asked, shaking his hands away as I rose back to my full height.

“Yes! I do! So much information!” Seizing the idea, he stumbled to his feet. “I have information on the Resistance! A base on Lothal, used by the Rebels of old.”

“The base that this ship was taking you to?” I asked. Kingsley nodded eagerly. “I already have the location; the ship was headed there, remember?”

“B-but, I have names!”

“I have all the names I need,” I replied. “Robano and Hanlin.” Kingsley looked aghast, and I could hear his mind frantically searching for more information he could give me, information that could save his life.

“I could work as a spy!” he burst out. “They’re expecting me; I can infiltrate their trust, send the First Order information!”

“Information like, there’s a defector coming, catch and kill him?” I asked, smirking. “Sorry, Kingsly, you’re a bit late to that particular party.” I lit my lightsaber.

“No! Wait, please!” Kingsley began to stagger backwards as I closed in on him. His fear was intoxicating, and I could feel my blood rushing within my veins.

“Goodbye, Kingsley Wells,” I said, raising my weapon.

“No, please don’t-” His cry was cut short as his chest was cut open, a ragged line tearing him from shoulder to hip. His heart stuttered for a few more desperate beats, then stopped, leaving an emptiness in the air.

“Wow…” I let out a long breath, feeling my entire body thrum with energy and elation. Heat coursed from my cheeks to my stomach, and I could feel the blood beginning to surge to my pussy. “Fuck…” I had never killed without Kylo at least close by, and I had just taken five lives all by myself. Five full lives. No wonder I was so aroused. “Mmmm...” I murmured, rubbing at my neck. I was hot. I needed release. Now.

I sat back in one of the passenger seats, my lightsaber tossed onto the adjacent one, and pulled my tunic over my head. I didn’t bother unfastening my bra, I just pulled it down, allowing my breasts spill free. I closed my eyes and teased my nipples, the cold atmosphere of space hardening them into proud peaks. I didn’t need to play with them for long, my pussy already wet and pulsing. I slid one hand into my underwear, circling my clit in slow movements, then speeding up.

“Yes!” I gasped, revelling in the sensations roiling inside me. It felt good, but I wanted more. I wanted Kylo. “Kylo…” I moaned, calling his face into my mind. My hips lifted from the seat, seeking someone that wasn’t there. I shoved my trousers down to my ankles, opening my legs as I fumbled about for my lightsaber.

It was cold and hard, but the perfect size, my pussy eagerly accepting it as I slowly forced it inside. I hissed as it stretched me, its solidness unrelenting against my pliant walls. I pulled it out with one hand, tapping my clit with the other, then slid it back in, my pussy quickly growing accustomed to the weapon that was filling it up.

“Kylo!” I cried out, my mind instinctively searching him out. He was too far away to fully reach, but I could always feel his presence through the Living Force. That was enough for now, as I thrust my lightsaber in and out, tapping and pinching my clit, then rubbing urgently as my orgasm approached. I came with a loud gasp, the metal of my saber painful against my spasming pussy walls. My orgasm tore through me far too quickly, so I didn’t stop, working the saber and my clit until I came again.

The second orgasm is always better than the first.

The third was incredible.

By the time I got to the fourth, I was nearly weeping with pleasure, but without Kylo it still wasn’t enough. It wasn’t the physical sensations I missed, it was the mental. I needed his mind inside me more than his cock, probing at my cranial pleasure centres, commanding memories to replay like a holo, his passion enveloping me like a wave that pulled me under.

“Fuck!” I swore, yanking my lightsaber out of my pussy and tossing it aside. I had to stop; I couldn’t get where I needed to go without Kylo. Masturbating without him was almost pointless. I redressed, wiping my cum-covered lightsaber on the seat, making a mental note to clean it properly later.

Returning to my mission, I revisited the cockpit. The three bodies were where I left them, shockingly enough, and I dragged them down to the passenger hold, dumping them in a pile with the other two. I hit the jump to lightspeed, arriving back on Polaris within the hour. Docking the ship was no problem, but I had to ponder my next move.

‘ _Do I just leave the ship as is, bodies and all?_ ’ I wondered, spinning in the pilot’s seat. ‘ _Or do I ‘call it in’ or something?_ ’ Official First Order business had me covered, legally, so either way, it’s not like I would get arrested or anything. I thought back to my training.

“Leave the bodies,” I decided quickly. “Kylo always does.” No warning, no explanation. That was something of an unofficial motto of the Knights of Ren. “Cool.”

I rose from the seat, and exited the ship.

*****

“You have done well, Lady Ren,” Snoke commended me. I fought down my smile at his words, my head bowed as I knelt before his hologram. “You dealt with both the traitor and the sympathisers in a way befitting a Knight of Ren.”

“You honour me, Supreme Leader,” I said humbly.

“And to return with excess information,” Snoke went on. “You have exceeded my expectations once again.”

“I owe all to yourself and my Master.”

“Kylo Ren is your Master no more.” Though I had prepared myself for those words, they still caused a painful tug within my chest. “Though, as a Knight of Ren, he remains your Commander, he is now your comrade in arms.”

“I…” I swallowed the lump in my throat. “I am proud to call him such.”

“I pray you continue to serve me well, Lady Ren,” Snoke said.

“I will, Supreme Leader,” I assured him.

The hologram flickered and faded, Snoke dismissing me without a word. I rose to my feet, standing alone in the chamber for a few minutes, gathering my thoughts and erratic emotions. I breathed slowly through my mask until I felt centred, then left the Communication Chamber.

Kylo was in his training room, meditating cross-legged on the floor, when I returned. I felt his focus slip as I approached him, removing my mask and placing it on the chest holding our training equipment. Kylo was shirtless, dressed only in loose-fitting sweatpants, and I knelt behind him, running my gloved hands up his back and along his shoulders.

“I’m back,” I whispered into his ear, nudging it with my nose.

“You are now a Knight of Ren,” Kylo replied emotionlessly. “You have been assigned your own chambers for training and living.” He pulled away from me, rising to his feet.

“I can’t stay here?” I asked, disappointed.

“I am no longer your Master,” Kylo said, pulling a shirt on. “It is no longer necessary.”

“Perhaps not, but it’s still practical,” I replied, following behind him as he crossed the room to his bedroom door. “Kylo?” I asked when he didn’t respond. I took a handful of his shirt, stopping him from entering the bedroom. “Kylo, I killed five people. You have no idea how much I need to be fucked right now.”

“This ship holds thousands of people,” Kylo said over his shoulder. “I’m sure you can find someone willing.”

“What?” I was stunned. “Kylo, I want you.”

“Our sexual liaisons were part of your training,” Kylo stated coldly. “Your training is complete. We will no longer partake in such things together. You are free to sleep with whomever else you wish.”

“I don’t…are you serious right now?” I asked.

“Your things have already been moved to your new quarters,” Kylo said. “Congratulations on passing your trial, Lady Ren. Now, leave me.” The door slid closed behind Kylo with a whoosh, leaving me staring at the cold mental in shock.

When the first tear fell, I knew I had to pull myself together. I left Kylo’s chambers, checking my personal holopad for my new living information. It was quite possibly as far away from Kylo as I could get without leaving the ship. I travelled there silently, glad to have my helmet covering my distraught face.

My quarters were similar to Kylo’s, though the training room was much smaller. In the bedroom, I found my clothing and three training remotes in a pile on the bed, having been delivered there from Kylo’s chambers. I put the clothes away, placed the remotes on top of the dresser, and began peeling my clothes off.

I stood in the shower, letting the hot water fall over me as I tried to sort through my emotions. I was certainly disappointed, but I was also sad. I enjoyed Kylo’s company, both sexually and personally, and had no idea it was going to end following the completion of my training. As I searched my feelings, I felt the anger begin to rise.

I slammed my fist against the shower wall, frustrated.

‘ _How can he just cast me aside like this?_ ’ I demanded of myself. ‘ _After the past year together? All that sex and training and teaching and…’_

“Dammit!” I punched the wall again. Had Snoke commanded Kylo to do so? Had Kylo chosen of his own accord? Was there anything I could do? Question after question filled my mind, then repeated in a loop until I was a simmering ball of rage.

I went to bed furious and exhausted. I dreamt of killing and running and chasing, awaking in an even worse mood. As I went through my morning exercises, I channelled my anger into my remote training, catching and deflecting each laser blast with a furious ease. As I sat down to eat breakfast, my holopad pinged, a message received.

‘ ** _We have a mission_** ,’ it read, flashing Kylo’s name as the sender. ‘ ** _Meet me in the Supreme Leader’s Communication Chamber_**.’

“Oh, for kriffsake!” I swore loudly, stabbing at the delete symbol. Though I toyed with the notion of ignoring it, I knew I couldn’t possibly. I had only just graduated to Knight of Ren; to ignore a direct order from my Commander was more likely to get me killed than demoted.

Kylo was inside the Communication Chamber, already on one knee before the towering form of the Supreme Leader. I joined him, kneeling a few paces to his right.

“Supreme Leader,” I said reverently.

“Lady Ren,” Snoke replied. “I have taken into account the information you were able to supply me with. You and the Commander shall destroy the Resistance hideout on Lothal.”

“Of course, Supreme Leader,” I said, bowing my head. “I would be glad to assist the Commander with such a task.”

“You show great promise, young Evran,” Snoke went on. “I hope to see more of it in the trying times to come.”

“You will, Supreme Leader,” I assured him. “I will rise to any and all occasions, be they trying or mundane.”

“Very good. Now, go.” The holo faded away, and I rose to my feet as Kylo did.

“So…” I said. “My ship or yours?” Kylo’s mind was closely guarded, but his body was tense.

“Mine,” he stated, turning and striding away. “Meet me on the upper dock in an hour.”

“Of course, Commander,” I replied, watching him go. My own temper continued to churn under the surface, but I did as I was told, returning to my chambers to pack a bag, before heading to the upper dock, used only by the highest personnel.

Kylo was already aboard the Infiltrator, sitting in the cockpit, running pre-flight checks on the main console. I dumped my bag in my usual bunk, surprised to see the long-since destroyed curtain back up. Well, a new curtain anyway. ‘ _Guess he doesn’t wanna see me anymore_ ,’ I thought to myself sullenly. Kylo’s curtain had also been repaired.

I headed up to the cockpit, sitting in my usual seat at the rear of the room.

“Ready when you are, Commander,” I said, settling in for a long flight.

“You’re not needed up here,” Kylo replied curtly.

“I know,” I said. “But I like the view.” Kylo turned sharply at this, and I felt a sharp finger trying to push into my mind. My shields were already up, leaving Kylo clawing at the surface. Through our masks we glared at each other, reflecting each other’s anger and frustration. Kylo’s probing pulled abruptly away, and he returned his attention to the console.

We departed the Finalizer a few minutes later, sitting in an almost painful silence, each too prideful to relent. I sat staring at the back of his head for the entire journey through the galaxy, from one end of the Outer Rim to the other.

Lothal was a beautiful planet, once upon a time. According to my holopad, Lothal’s allegiance with the old Galactic Empire shifted after the planet was strip-mined for the military. It had since been associated with both the Rebel Alliance and the Resistance. It was no surprise Kingsley Wells had hoped to be safe there.

Kylo brought us in for landing in Capital City. I finally left the cockpit to change into my casual clothing, dressing in the dusty colours that would help me blend into the crowd. Once we were docked, Kylo did the same.

A docking officer came rushing us to meet us as we descended the landing ramp, a young man with dark hair.

“I need names and registration identities,” he prattled off, tapping on his holopad as he spoke.

“Talo and Kira Keyes,” Kylo said, before reciting the ship’s fake ID code.

“Married?” the docking officer asked.

“Siblings,” Kylo replied. I glared at him, my mind booming one word: ‘ _Really_?’ With that done, the docking officer welcomed us to Capital City, gave us a copy of our landing permit, and departed. Kylo shoved the print-out in his pocket, and strode away, leaving me to follow along as usual.

‘ _Screw this_ ,’ I thought angrily. ‘ _I’m not his Apprentice anymore_.’

“I’ll check out the marketplace for information,” I told Kylo firmly, turning to head in a different direction. Kylo’s hand closed around my upper arm, preventing me from leaving his side.

“That’s not for you to decide,” he replied lowly, pulling me into a nearby alcove.

“We’ll cover more ground if we split up,” I pointed out. “And we need to find out where the Resistance hideout is as soon as possible.” I cocked my head to the side, challenging him. “Don’t we? Before they realise their expected guest isn’t simply late?”

“I give the commands, Evran,” Kylo growled out. “And I stay we stay together for now.”

“Why?” I demanded. “That makes no sense, mission-wise. I mean, if you wanted to find an inn and fuck me then yeah, we’d have to stay together, but-”

“Enough!” Kylo snapped, his jaw tense. “I told you; that can’t happen anymore.”

“Can’t?” I asked angrily. “Says who?”

“I do!” Kylo’s hand tightened around my arm. “So just stop this, this…whatever this is! You need fucked, find someone else; I have a job to do.”

“Which would go a lot faster, not to mention easier, if I wasn’t trapped by your side,” I said. “Let me go to the marketplace and check it out. We’ll meet up again later.” Kylo seethed at me for a few moments more, but finally released my arm.

“Be back aboard the ship by sunset,” he ordered me. “Don’t pick any fights, don’t follow any leads, just gather information. Got it?”

“I got it,” I replied, holding my hands up. “Jeez, you seem on edge, _brother_ ,” I added, sneering at the last word. “Maybe finding an inn would do you soon good after all.”

“Go, Evran,” Kylo said, running a hand down his face. “Remember, sunset.”

“Sunset, got it.”

I wandered away, leaving Kylo fuming silently behind me.

Finding the central marketplace in a city like Capital City was an easy task. Signs were everywhere, directing you up and down, left and right, telling you where to go and how far to go. The marketplace was close enough to the docks, and I began exploring like I had done on Polaris, searching both the crowd and the crowd’s minds.

A surprising number of people were in good spirits, some local celebrity having made the news for giving birth to triplets. Many Lothalites saw this as a sign of good fortune, and a lot of women were preparing to tell their significant other that they, too, wanted a baby.

‘ _Urgh, graphic_ ,’ I thought, passing by one particularly excited woman. ‘ _And not how one goes about getting pregnant_.’ The mental images in her mind didn’t do much for my own sexual frustration, automatically imaging myself in her place, sucking Kylo’s cock while he fucked my face. ‘ _Okay, not helping._ ’

As the hours passed, I grew hungry, and I stopped by a small café, settling down in a corner with a bowl of soup. I drank it down eagerly, listening in on the conversations around me. Somehow, I had managed to seat myself next to a newly married couple, also with babies and fucking on the brain.

“My cousin told me that if I put a pillow under my back,” the young woman was saying. “It increases our chances, keeping the, um, you know, where it needs to be.”

“My brother says that if you have your legs, uh, like on my, um, shoulders,” the husband replied. “We’ll have a boy.” While she imagined such a thing, I couldn’t help but do so too.

“Dammit,” I muttered, pushing the image away.

“Is everything all right here?”

“Hmmm?” I looked up to see the waitress standing over me, smiling warmly. “Oh, yeah, everything’s fine, thanks.”

“Are you done, shall I take the bowl away?” She was already lifting it before I could answer. “Is there anything else I can bring you?”

“No, thanks, I’m done.” I threw a few credit chips onto the table and exited the café.

I decided that I wasn’t going to find much in this part of the city, and I still had a few hours before I needed to be back. I headed towards the residential district, the crowd thinning as I went. I passed a small playpark, full of children, grateful to find minds that weren’t preoccupied with sex and procreation.

“No,” one of them, a small boy, was insisting, stamping his feet. “I wanna be the Stormtrooper!”

“You’ve been the ‘trooper all day,” another boy said. “We have to take turns, Ma says.”

“But I like the Stormtroopers more than you!”

“But if you be a rebel you get to fly the X-wing.” The second boy held up a toy ship. “And fly all the way to Jhothal.”

“Stormtroopers fly too!” The first boy was not to be persuaded. “And they’ll blow Jhothal up!”

“Don’t say that!” Another child, an older girl suddenly chimed in. “Or it’ll come true!”

“It won’t!”

“It will! Ma told me!”

“It won’t! She never! You’re lying!”

“I’m telling Ma!”

“No, Sis, don’t!” Two of the three, the eldest and youngest, ran off, leaving the second boy standing alone with his toy ship.

“Who’re you?” he asked, noticing me watching.

“Just passing by,” I replied, gesturing at the way I came. “Was that your brother and sister?”

“Yeah, they always ruin it,” the little boy answered, before narrowing his eyes at me. “I’m not supposed to talk to strangers.”

“That’s okay, I’m leaving.” I walked away, but carefully probed at the boy’s mind as he began charging around, pretending to be a pilot.

Jhothal was forefront in his mind, imaging he was flying there. He didn’t know much, but he strongly believed it was a Resistance stronghold. I pieced together snippets of conversations he had overheard, along with rumours other children had told him. None pointed to the exact whereabouts of this secret base, but it was a start.

I continued walking through the residential district, now listening for anything related to Jhothal, but no one other than the children were thinking of it. With time running out, I headed back to the city centre.

The docks were much quieter now, but the same officer from before was still making his rounds. I examined his mind as he passed, a jumble of rules and regulations. He hadn’t been on the job long, and was still wide-eyed and straitlaced. Kylo hadn’t returned to the ship yet, so I approached the officer.

“Hi there,” I said. “I’m Kira Keyes, we met earlier?”

“Yes, Miss Keyes, I recall,” the officer replied. “Can I help you?”

“Um, yeah, I’m supposed to meet my brother here, but he’s not back yet and I don’t have the code to unseal the ship,” I said, gesturing towards the Infiltrator. “It’s getting cold, do you have somewhere I could wait?”

“Yes, of course,” the officer said. “Follow me.” He led me to a waiting room of sorts, a row of chairs against one wall, with a counter cutting the room in half. Another docking officer was on the other side of the counter, flipping through a magazine, his feet up on his desk. “Is this okay?”

“Yes, this is perfect, thank you,” I said, sitting down. “If you see my brother, can you let him know I’m here?”

“Of course, not a problem.” The officer returned to the docking area, leaving me alone with the other one. I prodded at his mind, but he was too enraptured in his magazine for me to get in that easily. He appeared to be incredibly single-minded, something the Force struggled to get around. I waited a few minutes, pondering my next move, then approached the counter.

“Hi,” I said shyly. “Do you have a magazine I can read? It’s kinda boring just sitting here.”

“Sorry, doll,” the officer replied, not bothering to look up at me. “We ain’t a library, ya know.”

“I know, I’m sorry.” I leaned over the counter, using the countertop to push my breasts up. “What’re you reading?” The officer finally looked up at me, doing a double-take when his eyes slid down to my exposed cleavage. “I’m here with my brother, and it is sooooo boring.”

“Yeah?” The officer licked his lips, placing his magazine down.

“Yeah, anywhere fun nearby?” I asked.

“What kind of fun?”

“Um…” I made a show of chewing on my bottom lip, rolling it between my teeth. “What kind of fun do you recommend?” I felt the surge of confidence in the officer’s mind, deciphering my sultry tone as attraction. “You look like a man who knows how to enjoy himself.”

“I certainly do,” he replied, his gaze going from my narrowed eyes, my reddening lips, and the swell of my breasts. “I get off in a few minutes, I can take you someplace great.”

“Oh? And how long ‘til I get off?” I winked at him, causing him to surge to his feet.

“You know, I’ve got an office back here,” he said, lifting up the panel to allow me to pass through the counter. “There might be some magazines in there, now that I think about it.”

“I’d love it if you showed me,” I answered.

“Right this way, Miss.”

“It’s Kira, actually.”

“Kez.”

“Mmm, Kira and Kez,” I said, following close behind him as he led me into a secluded office. “I like the sound of that.” I shut the door behind me, turning the lock slowly. I let out a long sigh when it clicked. “I like the sound of that too,” I said.

“You know something,” Kez then said, glancing at his desk. “I don’t think there are any magazines in here, I’m really sorry.”

“That’s okay,” I replied, sitting up on the desk. “I’ve got a better idea.” I beckoned him towards me with one finger, spreading my legs wide for him to stand between them. “I don’t have long,” I told him, coiling my arms around his neck as I watched his mind closely. “We’re leaving for Jhothal as soon as the sun goes down.”

“Jhothal?” Kez replied, his brow creasing. “What’s a pretty girl like you wanting in Jhothal?”

“Oh, you know,” I murmured, trying to coax his mind onto the subject. “This and that. You been there? You seem like a well-travelled man.”

“There’s nothing much out there,” Kez said, his mind finally reacting to me. “It’s just an old outpost.”

“But you know about… _them_ , right?” I pulled Kez further in, hooking my legs around him, dipping my lips close to his ear.

“Th-them?” He stammered as I licked the shell of his ear, the single-track nature of his mind beginning to dissipate as his thoughts wandered. I felt a shimmer in his thoughts, the word ‘them’ slowly forming into a concrete idea. “You mean the…the Resistance.”

“Yeah,” I whispered. “I bet you’re a rebel, a strong man like you. You must know everyone that passes through this place.” The first stirrings of suspicion began to come to the surface, but I kissed him hungrily before he could form the feeling into a cognizant thought. His hands grabbed at my breasts eagerly, squeezing and fondling. “Mmmm,” I moaned against his mouth. “I love a rebel.”

“Yeah, you do,” Kez replied, kissing me again. “I know all about the rebels.” His mind settled quite quickly on this thought, and I let him grope and tongue me while I sifted through pieces of information related to the Resistance.

“Yeah, Kez,” I urged him on. “That feels amazing. I can’t _resist_!” Reduced to primitive desire, Kez’s mind was free to peruse. Jhothal was indeed an old outpost, but it was known for its friendliness towards rebels and the like. Though Kez certainly wasn’t in the loop regarding its current allegiances, he was aware of an influx of off-worlders coming through the docks recently. He also knew the name Teth Hanlin, a frequent traveller from Lothal, who would leave the planet for months at a time, always returning accompanied by someone new.

Finally, I found a rough idea of Jhothal’s location, on the eastern edge of the continent, near the water. I withdrew from Kez’s mind to realise he was rubbing the heel of his palm against my crotch, and I was surprised by how good it felt.

“Mmm,” I moaned, pressing my crotch into his hand. “Fuck…” I was still needing relief following the killing during my trial, but if I couldn’t have Kylo, maybe this guy would be enough. I entered his mind again, concentrating on the arousal he was feeling, and the desire for me. It wasn’t as good or as strong as Kylo, but it was still exhilarating, sending a wave of lust through me. I pulled at the erotic thoughts that swirled inside him, heightening them with the Force, convincing him he wanted me more and more. I thrust my pussy against his palm hungrily, feeling my underwear slide against me as I grew wet and ready.

“Touch me,” I whispered. Kez moaned against my lips, kissing me sloppily as he pushed one hand down my trousers and into my underwear. He curled two fingers inside of me, and I moaned loudly, throwing my head back. “Keep going, Kez! Fuck!” I cried, humping his fingers, clutching his shoulders. “Yes!”

I was close to cumming, my mind lost in a heady haze, when I felt a deep roar of rage in my stomach. My eyes snapped open in time to see the door crash inwards, Kez yelping and pulling away from me. Kylo’s lightsaber was through his chest before he finished turning. Kez tumbled to the floor, dead, but the blade rained down on him again and again, Kylo snarling with every blow.

“Kylo, stop!” I cried out, leaping from the desk to grab his arm. “What the fuck?!”

“On the ship!” Kylo bellowed at me. “Now!” He shoved me roughly, across the broken door and into the main office. The other officer stood there, trembling, but Kylo completely ignored him, his hand fisted in the back of my tunic as he steered me to the ship.

Once on board, Kylo released me with another shove, and I stumbled into the wall, catching myself with my hands. The landing ramp rose back into position, Kylo stabbing at the keypad, sealing the ship closed. I breathed heavily, watching him, half-afraid. Kylo was panting too, his shoulders shuddering as they rose and fell.

“Y-you said-”

“Shut up!” Kylo barked at me, one hand steadying himself against the wall, his head hung low. “I don’t want to hear…anything.” His mind was a frantic tumble of conflicting thoughts and feelings. They surged out of him, almost overwhelming me as I stood there, unable to block him out. I had never felt him like this. The weight of it pressed down on my chest, forcing the air out of my lungs, and my entire body buckled under the pressure.

“Kylo,” I gasped out, reaching out blindly. “S-stop.” He caught me as I fell, one hand behind my back, one sweeping my legs from the ground. His emotions slowly drew away from me as he carried me to my bunk, placing me down gently.

“Hey, come back,” he whispered to me, kneeling by my bunk, one hand on my cheek. My head was still a mess of his emotions, but I could breathe once more.

“I don’t…” I closed my eyes, my chest still tight as I tried to speak. “I don’t understand.”

“Shhh.” I opened my eyes to see Kylo gazing at me sorrowfully. “Just…just wait, okay?” I nodded, and Kylo left my side, heading up to the cockpit.

I sat up carefully, feeling the Sublights fire on, and the ship rise into the sky. We weren’t airborne long, landing again only a few minutes later. By the time Kylo returned, I was back to my usual self, save for the growing confusion inside me.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

“Yeah, more or less,” I replied. I looked up at him, his expression guarded. “What just happened?”

“It’s hard to control sometimes,” Kylo said quietly, looking down at the ground. “I’ve always been too connected to the Force. If I’m not careful, when I lose control, Force-sensitive individuals can be…affected.”

“No,” I said, shaking my head. “Before that.” Kylo’s gaze flicked up to meet mine, but he looked away almost immediately.

“You were…” He swallowed, trailing off. His jaw tightened as he breathed heavily through his nose, and I felt the temper in him flare again. “I didn’t think you’d…really find someone else…”

“So, what, that was…jealousy?” I asked. “You’re the one that said-“

“I know!” Kylo cut me off with a shout. “I know what I said,” he then added, softer now. “I just didn’t think it would feel like that.”

“You killed him,” I bit out.

“He was touching you!” The temper was back, Kylo’s eyes dark and narrow as he glared at me. “And you were…” His eyes looked away again. “You liked it.” His eyes closed, and I was shocked to feel a wave of pain slip out from inside his guarded thoughts.

“I wanted you,” I said, my own pain rising to the surface. “You turned me away. You said it was over.”

“It has to be over!”

“Why?!” I rose to my feet, grabbing fistfuls of Kylo’s tunic. “Tell me why, Kylo, because I don’t fucking understand!” He said nothing. “Please, Kylo.”

“Passion is power,” he finally said, his hands closing over mine. “But sentiment is weakness.”

“Sentiment?” I repeated, frowning. “What?”

“I…I care about you, Evran,” Kylo whispered, dropping his head. “Deeply. That can’t be allowed to continue.”

“But…” I swallowed. “You…you said the Jedi weren’t allowed to feel, but that the Knights could. That we were allowed to, to love.”

“Don’t say that word.” Kylo pulled away from me.

“How can sleeping together make you strong, but caring about me make you weak?” I demanded.

“I don’t know! It just does!”

“You sound like a child.”

“I feel like a child!” Kylo hissed at me. “Being told what I can and can’t do, how to feel, how to act! I’m no more free now than as I was as a Jedi!”

“…you…you were a Jedi?” Coldness washed over me as Kylo froze, his face full of pain.

“Yes, I was,” he said quietly. “Until I found out my entire life had been a lie. My mother sent me away because she was scared of me, but she would never tell me why. I trained with my uncle, learning to control my emotions and my power, but he would never tell me why. My father couldn’t bear to be around me, but he would never tell me why. I grew up alone and afraid, and no one would ever tell me why!” Kylo’s saber was in his hand again, and he thrashed at the wall of the ship, scoring the metal in deep grooves, over and over.

I waited until he was done, panting and sobbing, before I approached him slowly, placing one hand on his back, winding my other arm around his middle. I held him until the shakes were no more than trembles, and his breaths evened out once more.

“Tell me why,” I whispered, my forehead pressed against his back. “I’m here, Kylo. Tell me everything.”

He did. At first he spoke quietly, in short sentences and little detail, but as the story went on, his retelling became more involved. He described the worlds he visited, the people he once knew, the truths that were eventually revealed to him. When he was done, I was still holding him, but now we lay in his bunk, entwined together.

“Love didn’t kill Darth Vader,” I finally said, once the story was done. “Love made him strong, made him able to do incredible things. He died because he became a machine, because he _stopped_ loving.”

“You don’t know that.” Kylo’s voice was hoarse.

“And the Empire didn’t fall because Palpatine died,” I went on. “It fell because they underestimated the Rebellion. The First Order fully understand the threat of the Resistance; that’s why Starkiller exists in the first place.”

“Weapons can be destroyed,” Kylo replied.

“Tell me one thing,” I said, one finger beneath his chin, tilting his face towards me. “Do you feel weak when we’re together?”

“The weakness doesn’t come when we’re together,” Kylo whispered. “It’ll come when we’re apart, when I lose you.”

“If you ever lost me, do you think you’d react calmly, or more like you did earlier? If a rebel pilot shot me down, would you simply weep?”

“I’d destroy them, I’d destroy every single last one of them.”

“Doesn’t sound so weak,” I pointed out, smiling softly. “Sounds pretty scary actually. Surely Snoke wouldn’t be too disappointed if my death resulted in you crushing the Resistance.”

“Don’t…don’t joke about it.”

“I’m sorry.” I lay my head on Kylo’s chest. “I’m just trying to understand.”

“You’re thinking too much,” Kylo replied. “Snoke said I was permitted to sleep with you as a point of emotional manipulation, to give you an initial reason to endure the suffering of training, but if sentimental attachment ever became an issue, our liaisons would be terminated.”

“Terminated, huh?” I repeated. “What if ‘sentimental attachment’ proved useful?”

“That’s not the point.”

“Hmmm…” I sighed, curling up against Kylo. “One last question.”

“What?”

“Can we at least spend tonight together? Even if it can’t happen ever again, can it happen one last time?”

“Evran…”

“Just a kiss?” I looked up at Kylo pleadingly. “Kiss me goodbye, Kylo.”

“I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“If I kiss you, I won’t be able to stop.”

“I won’t want you to stop.” I lifted my head from his chest, propping myself up on my elbow. “I won’t ever want you to stop, even when I’m cold and exhausted and spent. I will always want more.”

“I can’t give you any more.”

“Then, just give me this.”

Kylo took in a long breath, then turned to lean over me. I lay back as he looked down at me, cupping my cheek with one hand, propping himself up on his other.

“Just this…” he whispered.

He had never kissed me so softly, yet so desperately before. All the sex in the galaxy couldn’t compare to that moment. Our lips moved together, as they so often did, but in a new way. Instead of beginning our intimacy, or ending it, this existed outside of it. A whole new world, one we could never live in.

I breathed in the scent of Kylo through my nose, basking in the sensation of his hair around my cheeks, his nose so close to mine, his thumb slowly stroking away the tear that fell towards my temple. I let out a choked sob when he began to draw away, but when he let out a muttered curse, I knew I had him, my sorrow turning to relief when he pressed back down on me.

I threw my arms around his neck, trying to pull him closer than was possible. Our kiss turned messy, gasping breaths into each other’s mouths as our hips rocked together.

“Just tonight,” Kylo murmured.

“Just tonight,” I agreed.

Our minds repeated the words as we undressed each other, frantically pulling at clothes and shoes, but each time the phrase echoed in my head, it felt further and further from the truth. Nothing was ending tonight. Everything was beginning.

There was no building seduction. No stroking and caressing. Just Kylo inside me as quickly as possible, my pussy welcoming him home with warm floods of moisture. I moaned into his shoulder, feeling his cock slide into place, where it was always supposed to be. His pelvis was pressed against mine, the coarseness of his pubic hair scratching at my trimmed mound. His lips and teeth nipped at my neck, and I urged him on in husky whispers.

Kylo pulled one of my legs around his waist, clutching at it tightly as he began to thrust into me. I cried out, my back arching, my fingers scrabbling at the pillow behind my head as I pushed back into Kylo’s thrusts, meeting him and colliding with him. His hair fell into his face when he reared back onto his knees, pounding into me harder, and I reached up with the Force, tucking it behind his ears so that I could watch his face. His forehead crinkled as his lips pulled back, his breaths rushed and heavy. I had never seen him look so beautiful, so free and unburdened.

He came before I did, groaning as he spilled himself inside me. I murmured his name, pulling his face down for another round of sloppy kisses, but he drew away. My pussy surged with fresh juices when his tongue laved up and down my slit, and I let out a high-pitched moan, fisting one hand in his hair. Kylo had to pin my hips to the bed, stopping me from hungrily humping his face. I cried out as I came, both my own juices and Kylo’s ejaculate flowing from my pussy as it clenched over and over.

Kylo kissed his way up my body, sucking bruises onto the curve of my waist, raising goosebumps over my breasts as he licked and blew, teasing my nipples with sweet kisses, nipping my neck again, something he vastly enjoyed, until his lips met mine again. He tasted of us both, sweet and salty, sweat and cum and saliva combining into one heady mixture. I moaned against his mouth, flicking at his lips with my tongue.

His hips ground into mine when our tongues touched, swirling together, and I was pleased to feel his cock thickening once more. I pushed up, coaxing Kylo to turn over, and I took my time travelling down his torso, teasing his nipples, combing my fingers through the wiry bush of hair upon his pelvis, pulling gently until he hissed my name.

When I took his cock into my mouth, he sighed, long and low, his head falling back onto the pillow. I ran my nails up and down the inside of his thighs while I sucked gently on the head, tonguing at the underside. Opening my throat, I allowed Kylo’s cock to slide deep inside my mouth until I could no longer breathe. I held him there, sucking with my cheeks and tongue, until I needed to take a breath, then repeated my actions twice more. Kylo gathered my hair into one hand, pulling it aside to watch me bob up and down on his cock rapidly, squeezing and fondling his ball-sac. He was grunting along with my motions, his hips thrusting upwards, fucking my face.

He pulled me off of him before he could cum, both of us red-faced and panting.

“Ride me,” he murmured, reaching for my hips, pulling me into position. “Yeah…mmm, like that…” I slid up and down his cock, my hands on his thighs behind me, my back arched and my breasts thrust forward. Kylo’s fingers rubbed slowly against my clit as I rode him, changing between rising and falling, and snapping my hips forward and back. No matter how I moved, Kylo moaned in elation, and his fingers never left my clit, rubbing, circling, tapping, pinching. I cried out as he did, feeling my orgasm approach again.

Kylo turned us over, pulling my legs around his waist, his arms either side of my head as he rocked his hips slowly against mine. His thrusts were short and powerful, his pelvis pushing against my clit, and his hair fell around both our faces, our foreheads pressed together.

“Look at me,” Kylo whispered, but I already was, seeing him more clearly than I ever had before. My Kylo, my Master, my lover, my Commander, my Kylo. ‘ _Mine_ ,’ I thought, letting it echo through to him. “Mine,” he murmured in reply, his eyes piercing mine. His hips began to snap faster. “All mine.” The words sent a ripple of pleasure through my abdomen, which I channelled towards him. I felt him respond at the carnal nature of it. “You’re mine, Evran Ren,” he hissed against my temple. “All. Fucking. Mine. Now, cum for me!”

I obeyed instantly, crying out wordlessly as my orgasm surged through me. I felt Kylo coat the inside of my pussy with hot ropes of his seed, his eyes never leaving me while I came around him, my pussy pulling at his cock as the tremors wracked my body.

“Kylo,” I whimpered, pulling his lips against mine.

“Tell me,” he whispered between kisses, one hand cupping my cheek. “Tell me you love me.”

“I love you.” I didn’t even have to think about it. “I love you, Kylo.”

“I…” He hesitated, and I felt his body go tense.

“Shh,” I soothed him, kissing him softly. “You don’t have to say it.” Kylo pressed his lips against mine heatedly, and I felt a hot tear land on my face.

**_‘I love you.’_ **

The words were clear in my mind, Kylo’s voice small but sure.

**_‘I love you.’_ **

 

 

 

 

 


	6. Emergency Transmission

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With the completion of Commander and Lady Ren's mission, an old threat to the Knights of Ren is rediscovered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First off, super sorry about how long this has taken to get up. It's been mostly finished for weeks, but life happened and I wasn't able to get it finished until now! Second, this is the final chapter of All That You Bury Inside! Chances are there will be more one day, perhaps after Episode VIII, maybe not until Episode IX. I'm not a huge fan of fanfics that just retell the original story with an extra character, so it just depends on how Kylo's arc develops. Finally, I wanna thank every single one of you who read this story. I've had so much fun writing it, playing around with my own head-canons, as well as working the expanded Star Wars universe into each chapter. If you enjoy my writing, I hope you Subscribe to my page, as I will probably upload the occasional smutty one-shot, either involving Kylo Ren, or other characters and fandoms. Who knows, I just love writing smut! Thanks again for all your support and kind words and just everything! You are all awesome! Enjoy this final chapter, and I'll see you all again. Jay XxX

The landscape of Lothal, long since strip-mined into oblivion, still held a quiet beauty under the light of the rising sun. Kylo had taken us out of the city the previous night, landing the ship close to the southern coast. Rounded mountain peaks broke the water’s surface in the distance, and the morning skies were full of bird calls and whistles.

I stood at the water’s edge, sand in between the toes of my bare feet, and breathed slowly, calming my thoughts, gathering my focus, and slipping into a meditative state. My eyes fell closed, and I let the Force describe the world around me. I could see the fish swimming just under the ocean’s surface, mouths puckered as they searched for insects to suck up. I could hear the birds gliding through the sky, waiting for the perfect moment to swoop down and snatch up the fish. I could smell the lizards slithering along the rocky outcropping, staying out of sight of the birds as they enjoyed the heat of the sun and the coolness of the ocean. I could taste the salt in the water and in the air, and the acrid tang of seaweed where it washed up along the shore.

Most importantly, I could feel Kylo breathe evenly as he slept on, his eyes fluttering as dreams came to life in his subconscious mind. I let my mind linger on him, examining every piece of him I could touch. His tangled hair, black and thick, stuck flat against his forehead with last night’s sweat. His nose, long and proud, still smelling faintly of myself from when it had rubbed against my clit while his tongue had swirled inside me. His lips, red and plump, parted slightly, allowing the softest of breaths to brush through them. His neck, stretched to the side as he slept, covered in red blemishes and the beginning of bruises in the shape of my lips.

His chest, pale and freckled, a soft patch of hair and a fierce collection of scars, a few strands of my own hair still resting across his breast from where I had tucked my head against him. His stomach, swelling each time he breathed deeply, a teasing trail of dark hair leading down his pelvis.

My view from there was obstructed by the blanket still draped over him, but a gentle nudge with the Force soon rectified that problem. The blanket slowly slipped to the ground, revealing the cock I knew so well. Not too long, not too thick, but just right. The thick bush of wiry black hair I loved to tug on before taking that perfect cock into my mouth. The ball-sac beneath, so often in the palm of my hand, rolling against my fingers. His thighs, strong and wide, his knees that pinned me against the mattress, his feet, long and large with thick toes and bruised nails.

All of him. I loved all of him.

I gently pushed into his mind, wanting to watch his dreams. He sat at a large table in an ornately decorated dining room. A woman and a man were shouting at each other in a different room, but Kylo sat in silence, placing rounded stones on top of one another with the Force. A different voice whispered as he built his tower, causing the bottom stone to twitch every so often, but Kylo would carefully nudge it back into place, and continue his work.

The tower finally fell when a door slammed in the distance, and Kylo looked up as a man entered the room. The man was sad, his eyes deeply set and a greying beard coating his chin. He knelt by Kylo, but said nothing, placing one hand on Kylo’s arm and nodding. I felt the rush of sadness and despair that enveloped Kylo, fear churning just behind, as the man rose to his feet, one hand on Kylo’s shoulder, and steered him from the room.

In the hall, just as grand as the dining room, stood a woman, tears in her eyes, but a forced smile on her face. She wrapped her arms around Kylo, pulling him close, but he stayed tense, refusing to return the embrace. From another doorway, a small astrodroid beeped, its blue and silver domed head turning from side to side.

“He will teach you how to control it,” the woman said quietly. “How to use it for good.”

“I don’t want to go,” Kylo replied, his form suddenly morphing into that of a teenage boy, his adult thickness replaced with lanky limbs. “Dad doesn’t want me to go.”

“Your father is just…” the woman, Kylo’s mother, trailed off, sighing. “He’s just stubborn, you know he is. He doesn’t like to be wrong.”

“He’s afraid of me.”

“He’s not.”

“He is.” Kylo’s voice was tiny, cracking at the words. “You both are. Why? What did I do?”

“You have done nothing wrong.” His mother’s voice was firm and strong, but the tears in her eyes betrayed her. “You hear me, Ben, nothing. This is to help you, not to punish you. Uncle Luke’s school will be good for you.”

“But why do I have to go?” Kylo demanded, tears now in his own eyes. “Mom, please, I don’t want to go.”

“Ben, you have to be strong for your mother,” the other man finally spoke. “It isn’t easy for her to see you go.”

“Then why do I have to go?!” The atmosphere suddenly changed, the air thin and cold as Kylo’s fear and frustration spiked. His hands clenched at his side as his mother pulled abruptly away.

“Ben, enough!” she said firmly, the expression on her face turning hard. “It’s time to go.”

“No!” Kylo cried out, sending out a shockwave around him, pushing his mother backwards, picture frames falling from the walls, vases tumbling to the ground and smashing, lights flickering and bulbs exploding. “No! I won’t go!”

“Ben.” Luke Skywalker remained calm throughout Kylo’s outburst, his eyes piercing through the angry cloud of Kylo’s mind. “You must control your anger, before it grows to control you.”

“I don’t want to go.” Kylo’s voice was quieter now, the air around him ceasing to tremble.

“Yet, you must,” Luke said softly, approaching Kylo and placing his hands on his shoulders, one flesh, the other metal. “You have so much to learn. There is so much you could accomplish, but you must come with me. Become one of my students and learn the ways of the Force, and return home a man your mother will be proud of.”

Kylo’s shoulders jerked as he hiccupped, but he nodded. His mother said nothing, but kissed him on the temple, before fading into nothing. The hall around Kylo also disappeared, as did his uncle, leaving young Kylo standing in darkness. A low hum vibrated through the air, powerful and deep, and Kylo fell to his knees, hands over his ears.

“This is not the way,” a voice spoke. “You are capable of so much more, young one.”

“But I’m afraid,” Kylo whispered.

“Good. Fear will guide you,” the voice replied. “Anger will empower you. Passion will free you. Let the weakness of the New Jedi fall away, and seize the true strength of the Force. Be both the Light and the Dark, and cast shadow over everything else.”

“I can’t…”

“Be both the Light and the Dark,” the voice repeated. “And cast shadow over everything else.”

“Please, help me…”

“Be both the Light and the Dark…and cast shadow over everything else.”

“ **Evran**!”

I gasped, suddenly ejected from Kylo’s mind and brought back to the present. ‘ _Uh oh_ ,’ I thought, turning to look at the ship behind me. Kylo’s fury was already radiating outwards in waves, and I felt the tug in my mind that was him summoning me. I returned to the ship quickly, pausing only to sweep the worst of the sand from the soles of my feet.

“Morning,” I said when I arrived in front of Kylo, who sat on the edge of his bunk, glaring at me.

“You were spying on me,” he snapped.

“I was meditating,” I replied. “I didn’t realise I had-”

“Don’t lie to me, Evran,” Kylo cut me off, rising to his feet and grasping my chin roughly. “You snuck into my head while I slept, while I was… _vulnerable_.” He spat the last word out like a curse.

“I was just…I wanted to see what you were dreaming of,” I said meekly. “You’ve done it to me…”

“I was your Master,” Kylo retorted. “And I am your Commander; you will _NEVER_ invade my mind like that again, understand?”

“I understand, Commander,” I said quietly. “I’m sorry.” Kylo breathed heavily, his face inches from mine, before releasing me, pushing my chin away. “Kylo,” I whispered as he turned away, his bare back covered in goosebumps. I rested one hand against his cool skin, but he jerked away.

“I told you, last night was the end,” he told me lowly.

“You also told me you loved me.”

Kylo whipped round, his eyes dark and narrowed, his nostrils flared.

“Don’t push this, Evran,” he growled out. “Don’t push me.”

I reached out, hands against his chest, and shoved. Hard. Kylo stumbled back, his simmering anger turning to enraged surprise.

“You love me!” I stated furiously, fearlessly. “I love you! And I will fight the entire galaxy with my bare hands before I let you walk away from me. Even if it means I have to fight you too!” I pushed again, this time with my mind, and seized hold of Kylo’s memory of the previous night, forcing it to the surface, forcing him to relive it.

_“Kylo.” Her voice is so quiet, so fragile, but her lips are firm. I can feel her desire, her love, deep in my heart. With every beat I fear I may weep, finally knowing where I belong. Here, with her, inside her, with my arms around her. Her love ripples towards me, not just the resulting shockwave from an orgasm, but the soft wave of a rising tide. I want to drown in it. I want more of it. I want all of it. I need it. I need her. I need to hear it. I need her to say it._

_“Tell me.” My hand is against her cheek, holding her face to mine as my lips move with hers. “Tell me you love me.”_

_“I love you.” Her response is immediate, and the relief I feel is immeasurable. “I love you, Kylo.” ‘_ My name is Ben _,’ I think, sudden grief wracking my heart._ ‘No, not any more. Never again. He is lost. She will never know him _.’_

_“I…” I struggle to speak, my throat closing over as my sobs rise from my chest. I can’t say it, not without falling apart. I can’t speak. I can’t breathe. My body stiffens, struggling against the dam that will surely shatter any moment now._

_“Shh.” Her voice is as soft as her kiss, releasing some of the pressure growing inside me. “You don’t have to say it.” I can’t say it. I want to tell her that I can’t say it, but I still can’t speak. The only thing I can do is kiss her, hoping that my passion will tell her all the things my love can’t say. I can’t hold it back anymore, and the first tear finally falls._

_‘_ **I love you** _.’ Under the weight of all that I’m feeling, I direct that single thought towards her. It is the only thing I know right now, in this moment. ‘_ **I love you** _.’ I send it again, the one thing I want to say, and the one thing I can’t._

_She brings her thumb up to trace my lips, the pad of her finger rough against my swollen lips, and she says it again, smiling as my tear trickles across her cheek._

_“I love you, too.”_

This time Kylo was the one who pushed, and I was forced out of his mind once more.

“Don’t!” The word trembled violently in the air, Kylo’s hands shaking at his sides. “Don’t test me-”

“I’m not,” I said quietly, trying to calm my mind. “Kylo, you fight against everything, but please…stop fighting me.”

“The Supreme Leader-”

“Fuck the Supreme Leader!” I cried out. “I don’t care about him, or the First Order, or ruling the galaxy; I care about you, only you. I am a Knight of Ren, your vassel, not Snoke’s. I am Lady Ren, and you are my Commander, not Snoke. I am Evran, and I serve you, not Snoke.”

“You can’t say that.”

“I have no loyalty to the Supreme Leader,” I went on, seizing Kylo’s hands and holding them against my chest. “My loyalty is to you, and only you. It always has been. It always will be. Snoke may give me orders, but it is you I truly obey. You are why I became a Knight of Ren, you are the one who made me a Knight of Ren, and you will always, _always_ , be my Master.”

“Evran,” Kylo whispered, lowering his head to rest it atop mine. “It’s too dangerous to think like that, to say things like that. The Supreme Leader will know.”

“He will already know,” I replied, closing my eyes and breathing in his scent. “Because these thoughts and feelings are not new to me. When he searches my mind, he always lingers on my thoughts of you, but he says nothing.”

“Nothing?” Kylo asked, lifting his head back up. “He knows, yet says nothing?”

“That’s right.” I watched as Kylo stepped back, his hands clenching into fists as he thought over this new information.

“We have to return to the _Finalizer_ ,” he then said. “I need to talk to him, to find out the truth.”

“Well, we kind of have a mission to finish first,” I pointed out. “I never got a chance to say last night, but I know where the Resistance base is. That’s what I was doing with Kez, uh, that guy, before you…you know.”

“Yes, I know,” Kylo ground out, rubbing at his forehead. “Where is the base?”

“Jothal, a small settlement on the south eastern coast,” I replied. “And Teth Hanlin seems to be some sort of recruiter-slash-escort, bringing back people from off-world.”

“Very good. We’ll head there at once,” Kylo said, nodding briskly.

“Right now?” I asked. Kylo frowned at me.

“You have something better to do?”

“You realise you’ve been naked this entire time, right?” I said. Kylo glanced down at himself, still frowning.

“So?”

“So…” I bit my lip. “We never really settled on how we’re going forward from here, relationship wise…”

“Is this building to you proposing we have sex?” Kylo asked bluntly. I pursed my lips.

“Sort of,” I admitted. “I just wanna know that it’s not over. I wanna hear you say it.”

“It’s not that simple.”

“Yes, it is,” I stated. “We are in love, for better or worse. We are also crazily attracted to each other. I don’t want to continue this mission until I know how you feel.”

“You know how I feel,” Kylo said. “You just said it.”

“You’re not making this easy, are you?” I muttered, sighing. “Kylo Ren,” I then said grandly. “Are you still my lover, both sexually and emotionally.”

“Oh, for kriffsake,” Kylo groaned.

“Come on,” I said, prodding his upper arm. He swatted me away, his cheeks flushed. “Say it…”

“Yes,” he stated. “Fine, whatever.”

“Then kiss me.”

“Evran…” Kylo said warningly. His patience had almost run dry, but he didn’t fight me as I wound my arms around his neck, pressing my clothed body against his naked one.

“Hmmm,” I murmured. “It’s strange being the dressed one for once.” Kylo smirked as I ghosted my lips over his, finally beginning to respond to me.

“I can fix that,” he whispered, running his tongue along his bottom lip.

“See that you do,” I replied.

Kylo’s hands ran under my tunic as he kissed me, bringing the material up and over my head. I hadn’t bothered to put on underwear when I woke up, so my breasts were bare once my tunic was off. Kylo drew away from my lips, one hand on the small of my back as he coaxed me to lean backwards, allowing him easy access to my nipples. His tongue swirled, his teeth nipped, his lips sucked, and I moaned his name, my hands in his hair, gripping and pulling.

My trousers pooled at my ankles when Kylo tugged at them with the Force, and I stepped out of them, kicking them away then jumping into Kylo’s arms, wrapping my legs around his middle. His cock brushed against the underside of my ass, standing to attention and pulsing with blood. I reached down and manipulated it between us, making it stand up against Kylo’s stomach while I ground against it with my pelvis. Kylo slid me down onto it, my wet pussy hungrily swallowing it, and my back arched with pleasure.

“Did you really think I’d give you up?” Kylo growled into my ear, pulling my body back into his chest. “That I’d give this up?” He pressed me against the door of the lift to the cockpit, rutting into me calmly. “That I’d let someone else, anyone else, have you like I do?”

“No!” I gasped out, each possessive uttering causing my stomach fizz with lust, fresh floods of moisture coating the inside of my pussy. “Never!”

“Never,” Kylo agreed, suddenly slamming his cock into me. He held himself there, fully seated inside me. “You like this,” he said lowly, his pupils blown as he gazed at me. “You like being reminded who you belong to, don’t you?” He withdrew and slammed back in again. “Don’t you!”

“Yes!” I cried, my arms tight around his wide shoulders. “Yes, Kylo!”

“You want to know how I feel?” he asked, his voice barely a whisper against my temple. “You want me to show you how I feel about you, Evran?” I nodded, words lost to me. “Then watch.”

I was suddenly yanked inside his mind, reliving one of his memories, becoming him completely as he gazed down at my sleeping form, that first night on Devaron.

_She’s dreaming of me, I realise, watching the flicker of her eyelids. Her mind is open and unguarded, letting me in without an iota of resistance. She’s dreaming of me. I hear gunfire and smell blood, and I see myself, cape beating at the wind. She’s there too, kneeing before me, blaster in her hand, blood on her face. She’s killed for me, and she’d do it again._

_I pull away from the dream, back to reality, where she sleeps, her thighs still slick with both my cum and her own. I slowly run a finger along the slit of her pussy, gathering up the now stale ejaculate, and flick the tip of my tongue against it. I can taste my own saltiness, but her sweetness is stronger, tantalizing, scintillating, intoxicating. I want to wake her and fuck her again, harder this time, forcing out as much of her cum as I possibly can. I want to feel her want me again. I want her to want me so much she’ll never want another. I want her. I want her._

I shuddered as Kylo’s mind skipped forward, jarring me, then pulling me in again. He’s standing over me, breathing heavily as D3-X shows him the freshly operated on wound on my stomach.

_“She will live,” the droid says. “You cannot move her until the grafts have healed. I suggest five-to-eight standard days.” The droid leaves. I barely notice. I’m only aware of her pain. She sleeps, but her mind can still sense the injury. She isn’t dreaming, heavily medicated to keep her unconscious, unmoving._

_I remove my right glove, placing my hand upon her cheek. It is much cooler than usual. I don’t like it. I don’t like her silence. I don’t like her stillness. I will kill the one responsible. Whoever gave the order to fire. They will die, slowly and painfully, knowing exactly why._

_I return my glove to my hand, but remove my helmet, just for a moment, just to press a kiss to her lips. Some part of me hopes that her eyes will open, like a princess from a child’s tale, but she doesn’t stir, dead to the world. No, not dead, only sleeping. I shouldn’t feel like this. This is dangerous. I have to stop._

_I kiss her again, and whisper her name. I search her mind, but the medication is too strong. Her mind is empty. I replace my helmet and leave. I shouldn’t feel like this._

Another memory, but I’m not there. It’s Grant, held up by metal restraints as Kylo paces before him. The torture had already begun, but Kylo has paused before delivering the final blow, something important on his mind.

_“Just kill me,” the traitor mumbles, blood tumbling from his lips, coating his teeth and chin. “Just do it. I’ve already told you-told you everything.” His mind is a mess of incoherent sentences, but there is no more I want from him. “Why don’t you just end it?” His voice is begging me, ready for the release of death._

_“I want to thank you,” I tell him. His head drops forward, lolling against his chest. I grab him by the hair, lifting his head back up._

_“Thank me?” he asks, his swollen eyes squinting at me in confusion._

_“If not for your actions, I may never have met her,” I say, slamming his head against the wall behind him. “If not for your betrayal, I may never have met her.”_

_“Her? You mean Ev?” A sneering chuckle falls from his lips. “What’s so special about that bitch?” I repeat my actions at his words, the smack of his skull against the metal almost knocking him unconscious, but I don’t let him slip away just yet, backhanding him across the face. “She’s, she’s a whore, you know,” he croaks. “A pleasure slave…I’ve seen the brand…under that thing she wears. She thinks she can hide it…it’s obvious. Is that why you like her, Ren? Because she’s a filthy whore?”_

_The next sound from the traitor’s mouth is a gargled scream, his pathetic cock no longer attached to his body._

_“Please!” he begs, sobbing openly. “Just kill me!” I bring my lightsaber to the side of his neck, its cruel glow casting shadows across the traitor’s face. “Please!” I slowly press down on his collarbone, and he screeches and gurgles, until his left arm falls free. “P-p-please,” he pants. “Please, I’m sor-sorry, she’s not a, not a, she’s, she’s great, she’s b-beautiful.”_

_“She’s mine,” I hiss, and with a swift slice, the traitor’s head rolls._

I nearly came there, Kylo’s hips snapping back and forth. My legs were almost numb, clenched so tightly around his waist. I tried to speak, but Kylo had one more memory for me, and I’m pulled in again. He sits on the edge of his bed, his holopad in his hands.

_I look at the sentence I have just typed. I want to delete it. No. I want to have not written it. I want to have not felt it._

_‘_ Our sexual liaisons can no longer continue _.’_

_I knew this day would come, but I can’t accept it. I don’t want to accept it. To never touch her again, to never kiss her again. Despair washes over me in a haze. To never hold her again, to never fuck her again. Anger grows inside me. To never be inside her again, to never see, hear, smell, taste, feel her cum again._

_The holo snaps in two, the sentence gone but not forgotten._

_To never be with her again. Watching her sleep, watching her shower, watching her train. Always watching her. Always wanting her._

_She won’t accept it either. I know this. She’ll fight it. She’s argue and provoke and seduce until I cave. She’ll never let me go. Never._

_Calmness finds me now. Surety. Trust. She’ll never let me go. I trust her to fight for me, to always pull me back in, no matter how many times I try to leave. It’ll be okay. It’s going to be okay. She can do what I can’t. She can defy Supreme Leader Snoke if she has to. She **will** defy him._

_She will never let me go._

_I will never let her go._

“I will never let you go.” Kylo’s voice was strained. “As long as you fight for me, Evran, I will never let you go.”

“Kylo…” Tears were in my eyes, as I finally felt the weight on his shoulders. I buried my face in his neck, letting the tears smear against his skin. “I’ll always fight, you know I will.”

Our lips met as we came together, my pussy quivering as it clenched around Kylo’s cock, his cum spilling inside me in staggered spurts. My nails dug into his shoulders, his hands tightened around my hips, and I gasped one last time, sighing as the aftershocks trailed off.

“Kylo,” I whispered again, letting my head fall onto his shoulder. “Kylo, that was…I had no idea.”

“Shh,” Kylo murmured into my hair, his hands sliding up my hips and crossing over my back to wrap around me. He held me tightly, half resting against me as I rested against the wall, and breathed deeply. “Evran,” he said softly. “I…” He swallowed. “I love you.”

“Yeah, you do,” I said happily, snuggling closer into his neck. “You fucking love me.” Kylo chuckled at my words, one hand rising to stroke my hair, brushing it away from my face. “I love you too,” I then added, bringing my head back to meet his gaze. “And you’re right; I’ll defy Snoke, for both of us. I’ll make him see that this is good for him too.”

“Just be careful,” Kylo replied guardedly. “If Snoke knew this would happen from the beginning, he has been able to hide it from me completely.”

“I’ll find out,” I promised him. “It’ll be okay.”

Kylo nodded, then kissed me firmly as he lowered me to the ground. My legs were unsteady, half-numb from being wrapped around him for so long, and I clutched Kylo’s arm, laughing.

“Whoa,” I stuttered between chuckles. “I need to sit down.” I collapsed onto the nearest bunk, which happened to be Kylo’s, and curled up in his blankets, sighing contentedly.

“Don’t fall asleep,” Kylo warned me, beginning to get dressed. “We still have a mission to complete.”

“I know,” I murmured. “Just…let me get the feeling back in my legs first.” My eyes fluttered closed anyway, and I felt Kylo prod at me with the Force. “Stop it,” I groaned, turning onto my other side.

“I mean it, Evran,” he said. “Get dressed.”

“Hmmm…” I yawned and stretched. “Business or casual?” I then asked, sitting up and rubbing at my tingling legs.

“Business,” Kylo replied curtly. “I want this entire sector to know what happens to those sympathetic to the Resistance.”

“Sounds like fun,” I said, rising to my feet. “Let’s do it.”

*****

Kylo let me pilot the ship while he meditated, his emotions on edge following our intense morning. Though I only had a rough idea of Jhothal’s location, the settlement was easy enough to find, larger than I had anticipated. As we approached, I could sense the growing unease of the villagers, suspiciously watching the unfamiliar ship close in on their home.

I brought us down right on the edge of the settlement, angling the ship so that the main cannon was directed at the local transmission tower. Kylo joined me in the cockpit just as I fired, bringing down the tower in a burst of flame.

“Come,” he then said. I rose from the pilot’s seat, pulling on my helmet, and followed him out of the ship.

The rebels had already gathered, and open fired as soon as Kylo and I emerged from the landing ramp. I deflected the blasts easily with my lightsaber, but Kylo simply raised his hand, trapping the remaining shots in midair.

“Cease fire!” someone cried. The fighters obeyed, and a middle-aged man stepped forward from the crowd. His face was weather-beaten, with a deep scar across one cheek, but he was confident as he regarded Kylo and myself. A quick glance through the minds of the people identified this man as Teth Hanlin, their leader and their provider. “What purpose do two Knights of Ren have here?” he demanded of us. “This is a peaceful village.”

“Really?” I tilted my head. “A lot of blasters for a peaceful village.”

“I’m sorry to say we were startled by the destruction of our transmission tower,” Hanlin replied. “I ask again: why are you here?”

“You were due to receive a traitor and a fool,” Kylo informed him calmly. “You offered him sanctuary is exchange for information.”

“I know of no such man,” Hanlin said. “And there is certainly little we could offer such a person out here.”

“There’s no use denying it, Mister Hanlin,” I said. “I took all the information the traitor had to give, along with the lives of your team of Mandalorians.” Hanlin’s body tensed, but he continued to breathe calmly.

“You have the wrong man,” he insisted.

“Really? Well, bring out the other Teth Hanlin living in Jhothal and we’ll have this discussion with him then,” I replied, beginning to grow angry. “How many of them do you have here?”

“I am the only Teth Hanlin here,” Hanlin said. “But I assure you, you have been given the wrong information.”

“I was given nothing,” I stated threateningly. “I _took_ , from within Wells’ mind, just as I’ll take from yours.”

Hanlin gasped and fell to his knees as I surged into his thoughts. Around him, the rebels raised their blasters again, but Kylo yanked all their weapons from their hands, discarding them to the ground. I continued to bore into Hanlin’s mind, enjoying the pain each snatched up thought brought him. He confirmed what I already knew; Jhothal was a small, but growing, Resistance base. Most of its inhabitants were survivors and descendants of the Rebellion. All were enemies of the First Order.

“As I thought,” I said, releasing Hanlin’s mind. He fell forward, propping himself up on his hands, panting and sweating. “You harbour defectors, you breed sympathisers, and you support the Resistance. I hope it was all worth dying for, Mister Hanlin.”

“It was,” Hanlin spat out at me. “You First Order scum!” My hand snapped forward, seizing Hanlin’s windpipe and slowly crushing it. He grappled at his throat, trying to pry away my invisible hold, but within seconds his eyes began to bulge, his cheeks went cold, and his body went limp. I let him fall back to the ground like a wet ragdoll.

The rebels, spurred into action, lunged forward as one, snatching up their lost weapons and firing uselessly at us. I walked towards the rabble, deflecting each blast back towards them, picking them off one at a time until I was close enough to start tearing through them, which I did with ease and fury. Chests were speared through, limbs were sliced off, heads were removed, and with every kill I grew stronger.

Screams echoed through the air, the cowards among them frantically trying to escape, but Kylo brought down every ship that tried to take to the air, using the Force to detonate engines and tear off wings. Every member of the armed militia was soon dead by my hand, and what few rebels remained huddled inside an old cantina, the doors and windows barred against us.

“Old Jho’s Pit,” I read from above the door. “I imagine they have some good Ebla in there,” I called over to Kylo. “Lothal’s famous for it.” Kylo didn’t reply, but he thrust his hand forward, and the doors collapsed inwards.

“Please,” several voices pleaded.

“We surrender,” a few others added.

“We just live here,” said someone.

Kylo and I cut through them all regardless. They were all traitorous criminals, and they all died for it. The shouts grew less, the screams faded away, until all that was left was the filtered breathing coming through our masks.

“That’s all of them,” I said to Kylo, nudging the nearest corpse with my foot.

“Access the transmission tower,” he replied. “Gather whatever data is left in its servers.”

“Yes, Commander.”

Though the shaft of the tower had been snapped in half by my earlier actions, its main console was still operational, as intended. Though no data could be sent or received, I was able to access the memory banks without trouble.

“Hmmm,” I hummed to myself.

“Tell me,” Kylo said, appearing behind me.

“Well, they’ve been regularly dumping the data,” I informed him, scrolling through what little remained. “So there’s not much to access, but a few transmissions haven’t been erased yet. I’ve got…three here, first one…” I squinted at the lines of encrypted data, analysing it in my head. “A requisitions order, fairly standard trading items. The next is…a security bulletin from Hosnian Prime, about…hey, it’s about me!” I grinned at Kylo through my mask.

“What does it say?”

“Reports about a possible female Knight of Ren,” I replied, scanning the data. “Um…dangerous, powerful, quick to kill, please report back if encountered.”

“And the last?”

“Not sure,” I murmured, my eyes roaming back and forth across the screen. “Its encryption is way too convoluted to decipher here…but it follows similar patterns I’ve seen before, back at the Academy. Its definitely from a ship of some kind, with an on-board astrodriod, judging by the binary…” I sighed, shaking my head. “It’ll take me a while to decrypt it all, but if I had to guess, which I do, I’d say it’s from an X-Wing.”

“An X-Wing?” Kylo tensed beside me. “There are few of those left; they are known as Rebellion fighters.”

“Well, I think the Resistance has brought them out of storage,” I said. “I can’t tell you what the message says right now, but I analysed a lot of X-Wing codes during my training; like you said, they’re famous for their role in the Rebellion.”

“Can you make a copy of the message?” Kylo asked. “Decrypt it later?”

“Yeah, no problem,” I said “Just need to grab my holopad from the ship.”

“Do it,” Kylo said. “We leave once it’s done.”

Transferring the data didn’t take long, and I joined Kylo back aboard the Infiltrator with the information in hand. Kylo fired up the engines, inputted our course into the NavCom, and we were gone, heading back home to the _Finalizer_. I sat in my usual seat in the rear of the cockpit, running scans and decryption software on my holo, determined to get to the bottom of the message.

As I pieced the message together from the decryption, I realised it was a mission update of some sort, but the base on Jhothal hadn’t been its intended destination. There had been a problem with the X-Wings transmission system, and Jhothal was the nearest safe place the update could be sent to be sent on to the Resistance. Though I didn’t have the final destination of the message, I was able to decipher its contents.

“Holy…shit,” I murmured.

“Tell me,” Kylo said from the pilot’s seat.

“It’s a mission update from a Resistance squadron of X-Wings,” I replied. “They didn’t find what they were looking for.”

“Which was?”

“Information about a map…” I sighed heavily, making sure I was reading what I was reading. “A map to Luke Skywalker.”

Anger surged from Kylo like a shockwave, forcing the air from my lungs and causing the ship to shudder violently.

“What?!” he bellowed, suddenly towering over me. He snatched the holo from my hands, tearing his helmet off with one hand and throwing it aside. His eyes were damn near bulging out of his skull, his breaths coming in sharp pants. “This is…NO!” The holo snapped in half, and Kylo spun on his heel, pacing heavily, his temper flaring and flickering as he fought to calm himself.

I cradled my head in my hands, my vision blurring from lack of oxygen, and I waited for Kylo to control himself. I was barely breathing, my head growing light and my fingers growing cold, and I felt myself slump to the side in my seat, losing my grasp on consciousness with every passing second.

“Evran.” Kylo’s voice was so far away, but I could finally breathe again. His hand was on my cheek, his mind carefully assessing my own for injury.

“I’m…’kay,” I mumbled, trying to lift my hand to reach for him. “Jusssst…gimme minute…” My lungs ached, but I concentrated on filling them, inhaling and exhaling slowly. “Worse than last time,” I finally said, my tongue thick but working.

“I’m sorry,” Kylo whispered, lowering his forehead to mine. “I never meant to-“ He swallowed. “-to hurt you.”

“You didn’t,” I assured him, placing one hand on his chest. “I’m fine, just passed out a bit.” Kylo scoffed bitterly.

“I don’t deserve your kindness, Evran,” he said lowly, his voice thick with emotion. “I don’t deserve any part of you.”

“Don’t say that,” I begged him, feeling him closing off from me. “Kylo, it’s okay. Everything is going to be okay.” I took his face in my hands, pressing a soft kiss to his lips. “Whatever the Resistance want with Skywalker, we’ll find him first, I swear we will.”

“I should’ve killed him when I had the chance,” Kylo muttered. “When I killed the rest, but I…I wasn’t strong enough.”

“You’re strong enough now,” I stated firmly. “And I’ll help however I can.”

Kylo drew away from me, returning to the pilot’s seat.

“We must inform the Supreme Leader,” he said emotionlessly. “He is wise. He will know what to do.”

*****

Kylo met with Snoke alone. I waited in his chambers, practicing my lightsaber drills with the remotes. Five remotes whirred in the air, firing at me in random patterns and intervals, but I dodged and deflected each blast with ease, despite the thick blindfold covering my eyes. My mind was calm and focused, my body was loose and ready. I was in a perfect state of peace.

Then I felt the first stab of pain.

I buckled to my knees, gasping, but the remotes didn’t stop firing. I barely evaded the incoming blast, leaping backwards, deflecting the second with my blade. I sliced through the third remote completely, knocking the remaining ones out of the air with a sweeping wave through the Force.

Another surge of agony shot through me.

I knew what was happening immediately. I tore off my blindfold, racing from the training room to the elevator. The third shock of pain found me as the doors opened on the Communication floor, and I staggered to the side, momentarily blinded by a flash of white behind my eyeballs.

“L-lady Ren?” a nearby worker asked, approaching me cautiously.

“Outta my way!” I snapped at her, rushing past.

The Communication Chamber had been sealed, but I gathered the Force and broke through, collapsing the door inwards and leaping over the wreckage. I fell down by Kylo’s side, as he writhed on the ground, Snoke tearing angrily through his mind.

‘ _Fight with me_ ,’ I pleaded Kylo, pushing gently into his raw thoughts. ‘ _Kylo, fight with me_.’

**‘GET OUT**!’ boomed Snoke from deep within Kylo.

‘ _No_!’ I refused, channelling myself towards his presence. ‘ _You get out_!’

There was a dark pit inside Kylo’s mind, where his most secret feelings were hidden, and Snoke was scraping around within its depths. I saw him clearly, feeling each jarring burst of pain that Kylo did, and I grabbed at him, wrestling him away from the young boy cowering below him.

‘ _Leave him alone_ ,’ I cried out, bolstering my presence in front of the child, acting as a shield.

‘ _Evran…stop…_ ’ That was Kylo, his own voice barely a whisper against the overwhelming strength of Snoke. ‘ _I deserve…the punishment…I failed him…_ ’

‘ _This isn’t punishment_.’ This much I knew. ‘ _This is torture_.’

‘ **You wish to take his place**?’ Snoke sounded intrigued. ‘ **You wish to take his punishment**?’

‘ _Yes,_ ’ I replied instinctively. ‘ _Yes. Just leave him alone_.’

The effect was immediate. I was gone from Kylo, his mind completely disappearing from around me, and a fierce coldness spread through me. I struggled to breathe against the incoming wave that was Snoke invading my mind. He passed through my conscious thoughts, through my secret ones, all the way to my core. There he stopped.

It was me. Me as I once was, young and innocent. The slavers had not yet come. My mother had not yet died. I had not yet learned the truth of living. I was free and unburdened, knowing not the horrors of my future. I didn’t know death, or terror, or loss.

Then I did. All at once. Agony wracked my entire soul, burning through me like an inferno. I felt the pain of death, watching my mother be gunned down again and again. I felt the pain of fear, heart pounding, body trembling, as the slavers herded us into the cargo transport. I felt the loss of my life, my village burning, my mother burning, my soul burning.

Snoke seared me with my own memories. The loss of my innocence, taken from me by a paying customer. The loss of my home, taken from me by paid criminals. The loss of my mother, taken from me by fate and fortune. I didn’t even know I had these horrors hidden so deep inside me. They were hidden no longer, thrust to the surface, raw and bleeding.

‘ **Skywalker is alive** ,’ Snoke bellowed at me. ‘ **The Resistance are close to finding him. Your beloved Commander is a failure**.’

‘ _No_ ,’ I thought weakly. ‘ _That’s not true_ …’

‘ **He was weak** ,’ Snoke went on, sneering at every word. ‘ **He is weak still. He will never be as strong as Darth Vader**.’

‘ _Vader fell_.’ The words gave me strength. ‘ _Vader was weak; nothing more than the Emperor’s lapdog_.’ I could feel my mind come back to me. ‘ _Kylo will not be your slave_.’ The cracks in my core began to close over, the young girl hiding within safe once more. ‘ _Kylo will not fall_.’ I pushed at Snoke with all my might. ‘ _Kylo is not weak_!’ I screamed it with everything I had. ‘ ** _He’s not weak_**!’

I was back. Snoke was gone from my mind. Kylo lay unconscious at my knees. Everything was a whirl of colour and static. I looked up at the towering form of Snoke’s hologram. He sat, pensive, watching me as he tapped his fingers against the arm of his throne.

“Very good,” he said after several long moments. “You have grown strong, Lady Ren, very strong indeed.”

“This was a test,” I realised aloud. “It was just a test.”

“The mind is a fickle thing,” Snoke replied. “Especially when sentiment is involved.”

“You still think it’s weak to care about someone?” I challenged. “To love someone?”

“As long as your ideals are unchanged,” Snoke said. “And as long as your loyalty does not waver, you are free to love whomever you will. As is he.” Snoke extended a gnarled finger out towards Kylo. “If this love continues to make you powerful, I will allow it. The moment it takes either of you from your path, you will die.” Snoke sat forward in his seat, leaning down over me as I shielded Kylo from him. “Understand this, Lady Ren,” he crooned. “I only need him, the grandson of Lord Vader. _You_ are expendable.”

“I understand, Supreme Leader,” I replied coldly, my eyes narrowed. “I understand completely.”

“Good.” Snoke’s hologram faded away as he reclined once more, leaving me and Kylo alone in the Communication Chamber.

“Kylo,” I whispered, stroking his hair away from his face. His cheeks were flushed, his forehead damp with sweat, but he stirred at the sound of his name. “Kylo, wake up.”

“Evran…” His eyelids fluttered open, revealing bloodshot eyes. “Why…?”

“Shhh,” I hushed him, feeling tears sting my own eyes. “It’s okay. It was just a test.”

“A test?” His voice was hoarse. I helped him sit up, Kylo wincing with every movement. “Testing us?”

“We’ll talk later,” I told him, pulling him to his feet. “Let’s get you to your room.”

I had forgotten about the training remotes still hovering in the air, preparing to fire upon us as soon as we entered, but Kylo pushed out with the Force, sending each remote careening into the walls, smashing them into pieces. We entered the bedroom together, where Kylo headed straight for the ‘fresher, sealing the door behind him.

I sat on the bed, feeling helpless as I listened to Kylo retching violently. The usual barriers around his mind were firmly in place, shutting me out. All I could do was wait for him to emerge, but he never did. As the minutes passed, I grew worried, but finally, after nearly an hour, I heard the door unseal, and Kylo tugged gently on my mind, summoning me.

He was spitting toothpaste into the sink when I entered, rising his mouth thoroughly. Fresh sweat beaded across his forehead, a few droplets sliding down his cheek, but his colour had returned to normal.

“Hey,” I said softly, laying my hand upon his back. “Feeling better?”

“Hmmm,” Kylo hummed in reply, swishing water around his mouth. He spat, wiping his mouth on his forearm. “You shouldn’t have done that,” he then said, looking at me in the mirror.

“He was hurting you,” I said weakly, shaking my head once.

“I was being punished,” Kylo stated coldly. He leaned over the sink, his hair falling around his face, hiding his eyes from me. “I deserved to be punished. Skywalker lives because of me, because of my weakness, and now…if the Resistance find him…”

“It doesn’t matter,” I said. “Skywalker is no threat to anyone anymore.”

“You don’t know that,” Kylo bit out. “You don’t know him.”

“I know you,” I replied quietly. “I know you did the best you could with what you had, and now you have more than ever. If Skywalker returns to this fight, he’ll lose. Fear him if you must, but don’t overestimate him. He’s just an old man.”

“Old does not mean weak,” Kylo said, turning on me, knocking my hand away. “And you don’t know him!”

“…okay.” I didn’t want to fight. I lowered my head, waiting for Kylo to speak.

“You shouldn’t have done that,” he repeated. “It was my punishment to take, not yours.” One hand curled around my chin, bringing my gaze up to meet his. “You shouldn’t have been made to feel my pain.”

“It was my choice,” I whispered. “And I needed to show Snoke I’m strong enough. That I love you enough to endure any pain he can inflict. That my loyalty will not waver.”

“Evran…”

“He said we could be together,” I went on. “As long as our love gives us strength, as long as we stay true to him and the First Order, we can be together. Doesn’t that make it worth it?”

“I…I don’t know,” Kylo confessed, lowering his forehead to mine, closing his eyes. “I don’t want to cause you pain, but I’m never free of pain. It’s always burning inside me, tearing me in half. I don’t want that to happen to you.” His arms wrapped around me, holding me to him. I rested my head against his chest, my own arms snaking around his middle. “What if I hurt you?” he whispers, his voice trembling. “What if I kill you?”

“Never,” I swear, tightening my grip on him. “I’d never let you. I’m a Knight of Ren, not some paper doll. You ever hurt me, I’ll hurt you back.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

Kylo lowered his head, breathing in deeply. We stood there for several minutes, just holding onto each other, melding together. We swayed slightly on the spot, a slow comforting movement, and I sighed contentedly. A soft pull in my mind drew me into Kylo’s, and I basked in the warmth of his feelings for me. The fierceness of his love. The fires of his lust. The strength of his passion. The rawness of his wanting. The surety of his trust. It poured into me, and I let it fill me up.

“Kylo,” I murmured, my head rolling back on my shoulders. “Don’t stop.”

The outpouring grew fervent, excited. I moaned as the ripples vibrated through me. Each emotion became an image.

Love: sleeping tangled together, breathing in synchronization, dreaming of each other.

Lust: frenzied fucking, hips slamming violently, mouths agape and gasping.

Passion: training tirelessly, lightsabers clashing and sparking, finding limits and breaking them.

Wanting: teasing seduction, trailing kisses and touches, torrid whispers and demands.

Trust: stories of childhood, confessions and secrets told, calmness and peace.

Then again.

Love: a sweet kiss upon waking.

Lust: a heady kiss as our bodies collide.

Passion: a bruising kiss while our weapons crackle against each other.

Wanting: a hurried kiss when time is short.

Trust: a firm kiss goodbye, knowing we’ll meet again.

“No,” I whispered, Kylo’s lips ghosting against my own. “No kisses goodbye.” Kylo kissed me lazily.

“No kisses goodbye,” he agreed. He tore my vest over my head, then fisted one hand in my hair, crashing my lips back against his. “Now, yours.”

I wasn’t sure what he meant until he flooded my mind, pulling all thoughts of himself from the reaches of my brain, swaddling himself in them. _Watching his chest rise and fall while he sleeps. The tightening in my stomach when his eyes narrow and darken. Each time my arms jar when I block his lightsaber. Feeling his cock harden in my hand while I tongue the creases of his stomach. Being surrounded by enemies, but knowing I’m safe with him beside me._

“More!” His demand was low, but full of need. I acquiesced immediately.

I thought of the first time I kissed him, back on Devaron, his sweater the only thing I wore. For the first time in my life, I was taking what I wanted. I was taking what I needed. I had escaped slavery years earlier, but the rush of freedom I felt in that moment was incredible. He gave me that. He answered my deep desire to be in control by giving himself to me, letting me explore needs I never even knew I had.

I thought about the feeling of belonging I felt whenever I was with him. Being his. Being mine. Being together. It always felt so right. I had no memories of home, my village long gone, my planet long forgotten. I knew nothing about where I came from. I could no longer remember my mother’s name or face. But as long as I was with Kylo, I knew what it felt like to have a place to call home. I knew what it was like to be wanted, to be loved, and to want and love in return.

It felt like this.

“Kylo,” I whispered, cradling his face in my hands, our lips swollen from fervent kisses. “Let’s go to bed.”

“No,” he mumbled in reply, nuzzling at my neck. “I want you.”

“We’re still in the ‘fresher,” I said, chuckling softly. “I want to lie down. I want…” I brought my lips against his ear. “I want you to make love to me, in the bed we share, where I can smell you in the sheets around me.”

“Evran…” Kylo’s hips rutted against me as I spoke. “Yes…”

“Then take me there, Kylo,” I breathed. “Take me to bed and make love to me, like you’ve always wanted.”

Kylo pulled away from me, his eyes narrowed and suspicious.

“You think I don’t know?” I asked him, smirking as I trailed my hands across his shoulders. “You think I’ve spent all this time with you and never noticed? We fuck frantically and fantastically, but you’ve always wanted it slowly and sweetly.”

“That’s not-“

“Don’t tell me it’s not true,” I cut him off, kissing his parted lips. “Because I want it too. I want to know what it’s like when the lust and passion simmers down, and our bodies shake with love. I want to feel your cock slide in and out of me without searching for orgasm. I want to feel you all around me, pressing down on me, taking your time because we have all the time in the galaxy.”

“Evran…”

“Tell me you want that too, Kylo,” I asked of him. “Tell me you’re not afraid to be vulnerable with me. Tell me you love me, then show me how much.”

“I want that,” Kylo murmured, his eyes closed as his jaw tightened. “I want all of it…I just…I’ve never…I don’t know how.”

“We can learn together,” I told him, running my fingers down his arms until I had both his hands in mine. “We can try again and again until we get it right.” I stepped backwards out of the ‘fresher, pulling Kylo with me until the backs on my knees hit the bedframe. I released his hands to let myself fall down onto the mattress.

Kylo stared down at me, his breath coming in heavy pants as I cast my clothes aside before rising up on my knees, tugging him towards me by the hem of his shirt. I could see the hesitation in him, the instinct to close himself off from me, but I refused to let it deter me, dragging the shirt up over his chest and head until his torso was bared to me. I smoothed my hands over his chest, up and along his shoulders to his neck, then into his hair, pulling him down into a kiss. His body began to relax as he bent over me, and I drew him down onto the bed.

“These…” I mumbled, fidgeting with his trousers. “Should be off.”

“Mmmm.” Kylo was barely listening, bringing his knees around my thighs, but I began to push them down anyway, along with his underwear. He drew back from me to kick his legs free of the material, tossing them aside, before returning his lips to mine. I moaned when Kylo’s fingers trailed into my hair, tightening into a fist and pulling gently, tilting my head back and baring my neck.

“Kylo…” I pushed up with my hips, grounding my crotch against his, moaning again when I felt his cock slide between my pussy lips. He began to suck on my neck while I continued to rut against him, feeling the wetness pool inside me every time his cock brushed my clit. His precum smeared onto my skin, tangling with the trimmed hair of my mound, and he groaned into my ear.

“Tell me…” he whispered, his voice crackling with uncertainty. “How to make love to you…”

“You know how,” I whispered back, cradling his head in my hands, his forehead resting atop of mine. “I can see it in your thoughts…the way you picture it; it’s perfect. I want it just like that.”

“But I…” Kylo glanced around the room, cold and bright with its metal walls and stark lights. “I always picture…candles…s-soft light, you know?”

“I know…you watched a lot of vids growing up, huh?” I chuckled as a blush creeps onto Kylo’s cheeks. “Hmmm, how about…” With a flick of my fingers, the light shut off, throwing us into darknss.

“I want to see you,” Kylo mumbled.

“I’m not done,” I replied. As I pulled Kylo into another kiss, I reached out with the Force to the bottom drawer, the one that was mine, and felt the wrapped parcel I had hidden there some time ago.

“How long have you had those?” Kylo asked, sounding impressed, his mind following mine.

“Weeks.”

“I never noticed.”

“Good to know you don’t go prowling through my underwear.”

“Not the clean stuff, at least.”

I laughed, the contents of the parcel settling down on the bedside table. The candles were a deep red, inscribed with a Chandrilan symbol of love and fertility. I had found them in a marketplace over two months ago, their design reminding me of Kylo and his birthplace.

“I saw these, and thought of you,” I whispered, setting them alight. Soft scents slowly rose into the air, warm spices and delicate flowers, and their flickering flames cast beautiful shadows across Kylo’s face. His eyes closed as he breathed in deep, and I felt a spark of nostalgia within his heart.

“I know this smell,” he said, his eyes opening slowly. “Hanna Lotus and Rum Spice.”

“That’s right.” I took in a deep breath of my own. “I thought it smelled like…like your old sweater. The one I wore the first time we slept together.”

“My mother had an old fragrance pouch of Lotus and Spice,” Kylo whispered. “She used to put it in amongst my blankets when I couldn’t sleep, when I had nightmares. When I left…when I went with Uncle Luke, she hid it with my things, so that they would always smell of…of home…”

“Kylo…”

“Now though,” he went on, reaching out for one of the candles. “Now, this scent will always remind me of you…”

I hissed when the first droplets of wax hit my skin, hot red liquid spilling across my collarbone and down the valley of my breasts, but the pain was dulled by the rush of arousal that accompanied it. Kylo swapped candles, and dripped a fresh pool of wax over my breasts, smirking when one drop landed on my nipple, causing me to gasp and arch my back.

More wax, streaking across my stomach and dribbling down the sides of my waist. I dug my nails into the blankets, my nipples erect and my pussy pulsing, as Kylo switched candles again. He tugged my legs apart, my pussy lips spreading open with the movement, and I cried out when the wax landed squarely on my clit, burning and pleasuring me with each heavy drop of blood red liquid.

“…and how much I love you,” Kylo whispered, finally finishing his sentence. He placed the candle back down, and kissed each hardened drop of wax, from my pussy, across my stomach, up and along my breasts and collarbone, until his lips found mine.

I pushed him up until we were both kneeling, my hands in his hair as I slipped my tongue into his mouth, flicking the tip against his own. Kylo was too enraptured in the kiss to realise the candles hovering towards me, until I shoved him back, and he fell down against the mattress, gazing up at me and the candles I held in the air.

“My turn,” I said lowly, moving to straddle his thighs. “Or should that be: your turn?”

Kylo’s head tilted back as I slowly dripped the wax over his chest, his breaths coming in slow shudders. I drew a snaking line down his torso, pausing at the teasing trail of hair that started around his navel.

“Don’t stop,” Kylo pleaded, his cock twitching in anticipation. I watched as he wrapped one hand around the base of his shaft, squeezing. “Do it, Evran, please!” He groaned loudly when red blossomed over the head of his cock, the wax mingling with the fresh precum he had coaxed out. “Yes, again!” I let another drop fall, this time missing his cock and landing on his hand.

“Oops,” I said slyly.

“Fuck, Evran,” Kylo hissed. His hand had begun to stroke his cock. “You know what I want,” he bit out at me, the veins in his neck straining with every word. His hips canted upwards, urging me to acquiesce. When I did, Kylo swore loudly, increasing the pace of his hand. Another drop and he nearly came, his other hand reaching down to paw at his ball-sac. I ran my thumb over the tip of his cock, wiping away the hardening wax, then brought my head down to kiss the flushed skin.

“Looks sore,” I whispered, kissing again. “Needs lots of kisses, huh?”

“Yes,” Kylo moaned. “Yes, Evran…kiss me…kiss me.” My kisses grew sloppy, becoming lazy sucks and smacks, Kylo’s hand thrumming just under my chin. When I felt him about to blow, I drew back, the candles floating in the air just in front of me. I tilted my head back, arching my breasts out, feeling Kylo’s eyes burning against my flesh. I slowly tipped the candles together, letting the wax spill down my breasts and off the tip of my nipples. The wax landed on Kylo’s thighs, running along the inside of his legs, and he came with a strangled groan. Cum spurted into the air, joining the wax coating my torso, turning me into a mess of warm liquid. I giggled, looking down at myself, covered in wax and cum, from my shoulders to my pussy.

“I should’ve brought these out sooner,” I said, returning the candles to the table beside the bed. “I didn’t realise you’d enjoy them so much.”

“Too much,” Kylo replied quietly, his eyes raking over the mess he had made of me. “What happened to making love?”

“That comes next,” I said, smirking.

“No; you cum next.”

I cried out in surprise when Kylo grasped my hips and slammed me down onto the mattress.

“Then we make love,” he said.

“Mmmm, promise?”

“Promise.”

The hardened blobs of wax still clung to my skin, but Kylo seemed to enjoy running his nails underneath the round edges, peeling the red blobs away. His cum he was content to smear against me, rubbing it into my skin like an ointment. He kneaded my breasts and teased my nipples, sucked my neck and rubbed my clit, working my body into a state of euphoria until I came. My body rocked into spasms, Kylo’s lips wrapped around my clit while his tongue rubbed against it. I moaned and sighed, murmuring his name until it no longer sounded real. With my orgasm came a fresh flood of excitement; we were finally going to make love.

Kylo’s face was a mask of seriousness, but underneath I could feel the nerves threatening to consume him. His hands were shaking as he lay down beneath me, but I said nothing, kissing his skin as I gently cleaned off the wax I had covered him with. I curled two fingers against my pussy, gathering my cum to rub into his chest.

“Now we’re even,” I whispered, winking. Kylo finally began to relax, taking my hand in his and bringing my fingers to his mouth.

“Perhaps,” he said, pressing his own fingers into my pussy. He slid his fingers into my mouth, and I swirled my tongue around them. “But you taste better.”

“I dunno,” I said when he withdrew them. “I kinda like how you taste.” I lowered my body over his, my chest against his, and kissed him slowly, pushing my tongue into his mouth to share the leftover tang still on my tongue. “Even when you taste of me,” I whispered. Kylo groaned at my words, pulling me back in for a hungry kiss.

The candles flickered and burned, and Kylo took my hips in his hands, coaxing me to turn over. I laid back, cosying down into the bed, smiling up at the man towering over me. My man. My Kylo. He kissed me again, and I could feel him forcing himself to hold back, to slow down and savour the moment. We had fucked so many times over the past year, angrily, lazily, sleepily, frantically, but never softly. His mind was a whirl of emotion, and I pushed into his thoughts to comfort each worry and fear.

_I don’t know what I’m doing._ What you’re doing is perfect.

_What if I can’t do it?_ You are doing it.

_It won’t be as good._ You know it will.

_I won’t be as good._ Of course you will.

_What if I do something wrong?_ You won’t. You never do.

_What if she doesn’t enjoy it?_ I am enjoying it.

_What if I don’t enjoy it?_ You are enjoying it.

_I don’t know what I’m doing._

“What you’re doing is perfect,” I whispered. I wrapped my arms around Kylo’s shoulders, gazing deep into his eyes. “Kylo, I love you.”

“Yes,” he said, breathing the words in.

“I want you.”

“Yes.” Another deep breath.

“Make love to me.”

“Yes.”

His cock pushed my pussy lips apart, beginning our lovemaking with a slow measured thrust to the hilt. I moaned, my head rolling back. Kylo moaned, his head dropping to my shoulder. I ran my fingers through his hair, my heart pounding in my chest.

“Feel it,” I said quietly. “Every inch of my body around you, every inch of it wanting you, needing you. When you slid outwards, it calls you back, pulling you back in, needing you filling it up, filling me up. Kylo, yes!”

“Evran…” Kylo sighed, his hips dragging away slowly then rushing back in.

“Yeah, like that, just like that, Kylo.” I moaned again.

_I don’t know what I’m doing._

“You do,” I assured him huskily. “ _Kriff_ , Kylo, you know exactly what you’re doing!” I let out a high-pitched cry, each pull and push of Kylo’s hips causing pleasure to roll over me. “More,” I murmured, my back arching. Kylo groaned against my shoulder, his teeth baring down on my skin. The tension in his body unwound a little more with each passing moment, his worries growing distant in his mind as his confidence grew.

I brought my legs up against his hips, crossing my ankles and holding him to me, my hands grasping at the expanse of his back. I moaned and mewled, full of both contentment and rising satisfaction. The bucking of Kylo’s hips never wavered, but his lips continued to travel from my neck to my ear, along my jaw and down the other side of my neck. He sucked fresh red blemishes onto my collarbone, nipping the skin with his teeth as he pulled it into his mouth.

My nails dug into his skin as the pleasure grew, the entire room awash with emotion. It reverberated off the walls, echoing back inside our minds then outwards again. We couldn’t keep it in. Every few seconds, a fresh wave of love and lust would pour out of Kylo and into me, filling me up then draining me dry when he summoned it all back. He groaned when my own love and lust doubled down on his own, and back and forth we went. It became a game, a challenge. Each time our minds cried out ‘I love you more’, the other would counter it with the same words. It was hypnotising, not just hearing the words, but feeling them. Memories pieced together, like a montage, played in our heads, and I knew I wouldn’t last much longer.

There was no way to know how much time had passed. Sweat was dripping from Kylo’s forehead when he drew his face away from me, his lips full and swollen, his eyes dark and blinding. I cupped his cheek with one hand, smiling gently. Our hips stilled for a moment, and we were frozen together, gazing at each other.

“Thank you _,_ ” Kylo whispered, sincerity ringing within every word. “For everything you’ve been to me...for everything you’ve shown me…”

“Oh, Kylo,” I murmured, pulling his forehead down to mine. “I’m the one who should thank you. You’ve taught me so much, made me so strong. I never thought I’d ever love like this, or be loved by someone so incredible. I love you.” I kissed him softly. “With everything that I have, I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

We came moments later, Kylo’s cock throbbing inside me, my pussy tightening around it as if never wanting to let go. I cried out, tears in my eyes, and Kylo sighed in pleasure, his fingers digging into my skin, and our orgasms collided together. As I felt Kylo spill inside me, I came again, my entire body buzzing with hypersensitivity. Kylo’s lips sucked at my breasts, puckering around my nipples, murmuring unintelligible words into my skin as pleasure erupted through me again and again. I clawed at his back, at the sheets, at the pillow behind my head, until the wave crested and I went slack.

“Holy…Kylo,” I muttered, blinking heavily. “That was…”

Kylo looked up at me through dark lashes, detaching his lips from my left nipple, his heart pounding as he waited for me to finish.

“…perfect,” I said, reaching down to pull his face to mine. “Kylo, that was amazing.”

The corners of his mouth twitched upwards, a shy smile slowly forming across his features. I stroked my thumb over his plump lips, tracing the smile into memory. Kylo lay down by my side, curling into me, his head resting on my stomach. I played with his hair, watching his head rise and fall with my breathing. His forefinger began to draw patterns on my lower abdomen, his mind humming with contentment so powerful I wanted to cry. To be the one who makes him so happy, it was overwhelming.

“Hey…” Kylo straightened up, that same finger catching the first tear that escaped my eye. “Don’t…” Fear threatened to smother his joy, and I quickly tried to assure him.

“I just love you,” I gasped. “So much. I’m happy, I swear.” I pushed my feelings towards him, letting him run his mind over each one. The love, the happiness, the peace, the joy, everything. He smiled, wiping away another of my tears.

“I feel it too,” he whispered. “All of it. This was…everything I wanted it to be.” He caught another tear of the tip of his finger. “Even this.”

“You wanted me to cry?” I asked through a bubble of laughter.

“Yes,” he said, kissing the corner of my eyes. “Tears of joy. I wanted to know if they really existed.”

“They do,” I replied, sniffing. “And they’re all for you. No one else could ever make me this happy.”

“You make me happy, too, you know,” Kylo said quietly, settling down beside me and pulling me into his embrace. “You make me feel everything, good and bad. That’s how I know…that’s how I know I love you.”

“I love you, Kylo Ren.”

“And I you, Lady Ren.”

We fell into silence, breathing together while the candles flickered and burned. By the time the flames died out, we were fast asleep in each others arms.

*****

I awoke when Kylo sat up sharply, jostling me out of my position curled up beside him. His hand was on his forehead, his eyes closed as he nodded once.

“Snoke?” I whispered, sitting up as Kylo began getting dressed in his uniform, layer by layer.

“A mission,” he replied simply. “The Supreme Leader believes an old ally of the Jedi has information regarding Skywalker.”

“Where are we headed?” I asked, rising from the bed to pull on my own uniform.

“Jakku.”

I tilted my head, running the name over in my head.

“Jakku…” I repeated, knowing the name. “Isn’t that where the New Rupublic defeated the Empire?”

“In a sense,” Kylo said, sliding his hands into his gloves. “It’s where the _Ravager_ went down, the last Super Star Destroyer of that age.” He then paused, glancing over at me. “I forget how much you know exactly of the Supreme Leader and the First Order,” he said cautiously. “Are you aware of Palpatine’s Contingency?”

“Uh…I don’t think so,” I replied, mulling it over.

“Few are,” Kylo went on. “I’ll explain it to you another time, but for now, know that Jakku was of paramount importance to the fall of the Empire and the rise of the First Order.” Kylo paused. “It seems like fate, that the whereabouts of Skywalker could be tied to such a planet.”

“It could also be coincidence,” I suggested, tucking my helmet under my arm.

“No,” Kylo stated, staring out into the distance. “The Force is pulling at me once again…I can’t escape it.”

“Then face it head on,” I said, placing my hand against Kylo’s cheek. He sighed softly, his eyes closing as he leaned into my touch.

“Evran,” he murmured. I smiled, reaching up to kiss him softly.

“You’ve got this, Commander,” I said quietly, my lips brushing his as I spoke. “Whatever awaits us on Jakku, you have no reason to fear it.”

“No,” Kylo said, his eyes opening as he drew away from me. “You’ll remain on the _Finalizer_.”

“What? But I-“

“The man I’m to meet with,” Kylo cut me off, turning away to snatch up his mask. “He knew me before. He knows the Force. I don’t want him to know of you.” I felt the wave of fear in Kylo’s mind, followed by an overpowering urge to shield me. “You’re not needed on the surface, I want you on the bridge, ready to analyse any incoming information I send.”

“Yes, Commander,” I said, deciding not to fight him on the subject.

“Come here.” Kylo beckoned me over where he stood by the door, mask still in his hands.

“Yes, Commander?” I smirked as I approached, Kylo’s narrowed eyes causing my stomach to tingle.

“When this is done,” he said, looping one arm around my waist and pulling me close. “When Skywalker is dealt with, there’s somewhere I want to take you.”

“Oh? Where’s that?” I asked, fisting one hand in the material covering Kylo’s shoulders.

“It’s a surprise,” Kylo replied, smirking back at me. “But you’ll love it, I swear.” He kissed me heatedly, breathing in deep, then kissing me again.

“I love you,” I mumbled against his lips, grinning. “And I can’t wait.”

“You’ll just have to,” Kylo replied, pressing his lips to my forehead, then pulling his mask on over his head. I did the same, and looked up at him through my visor.

“Ready?” I asked.

“Yes.”

We entered the lift together, and rode it up to the bridge where I would await Kylo’s return. He jabbed the button to hold the doors closed, preventing me from leaving.

“You okay?” I asked, frowning up at him.

“Yeah, just…” Kylo paused, his shoulders rising and falling as he breathed heavily. “Can you feel it? We’re on the edge of a precipice, Evran, balancing on the tip of a knife.”

“I feel it,” I agreed, hyper-aware of the growing anticipation of the Force around us. “The Force must know how close the end of the Jedi truly is.”

“There’s something else,” Kylo said. “Something hiding just beyond my vision…something powerful.”

“Skywalker?” I asked.

“Perhaps,” Kylo murmured. “Perhaps not. Time will tell.” He looked down at me, before pressing the forehead of his mask against my own. “I will return shortly, Lady Ren.”

“Give ‘em Hell, Commander,” I replied.

Drawing away, Kylo released the doors, and I exited the elevator. Fighting the urge to look back at Kylo as the doors closed once again, I marched to General Hux’s side, looking down at the planet below us the fate it held.

“The Commander’s shuttle is prepped and ready,” a female ensign informed me as I arrived at the fore of the bridge.

“Very good,” I replied. “Commander Ren is headed there now.”

“Captain Phasma’s platoon is boarded and ready for departure,” another ensign spoke up.

“They have permission to launch,” Hux replied before I could say anything, attempting to show his superiority over me. I merely smirked behind my mask, channelling a snort of amusement in his direction, causing his already stiff shoulders to tighten further.

“LZ coordinates are locked,” said yet another ensign into his headset. “Shuttle launching in three, two, you’re clear to go.”

I watched the first of the Stormtrooper platoons launch, heading planet-side. The second followed shortly after.

“Commander Ren is in the launch bay,” the first ensign said. “Shuttle is scheduled to depart in 30.”

“LZ coordinates are locked. Shuttle launching in three, two, clear.”

‘ _See you soon, Commander Ren_ ,’ I thought, letting the words echo out to Kylo’s shuttle as I watched it grow smaller and smaller, entering Jakku’s atmosphere and disappearing into nothing. Moments later I felt his reply.

‘ _See you soon, Lady Ren_.’

THE END   
(for now)


End file.
